Dementia 13 (2017)

Dementia 13 (2017)

Country:  USA

Director:  Richard LeMay

Main Stars:  Julia Campanelli, Channing Pickett, Steve Polites, Marianne Noscheze, Ana Isabelle

Storyline:  A rich family starts to see deaths as they wonder what has happened to one of the sons while honoring the death of the youngest daughter.

Review (Spoils): The Haloran’s family is messed up as they have a very rich upbringing and act like spoiled brats to honor their mother Gloria. As one son disappears when he marries a woman that the family disapproves of things start to get a little bloody as someone is swinging an axe.

Not really sure where to start with this mess, oh ya I hate remakes and the original is a goddamn classic! The film does not try to stay true to the classic and it’s a mess from the being. The acting is lacking and the only going for it is the odd blood scene and the hotness of Ana Isabelle which they fucking killed early in the film! The film is so unrealistic on the way people act and walk around that it was hard to focus on the story. Not too much the haunting background thrown into the mix…. Disaster!

The film gives is a nasty face scratch, dripping and splashes of blood, shitty ghosts, axe swings and a nice axe to the chest (nice chest too by the way). Other than that, just some back and forth and shitty ending.

Rating:  Fuck Richard LeMay for even thinking this was a good idea. Also, should have kept Ana Isabelle till the end. Grab a case of beer and go find the original!

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Get Out (2017)

Get Out (2017)

Country:  USA

Director:  Jordan Peele

Main Stars:  Daniel Kaluuya, Allison Williams, Bradley Whitford, Catherine Keener, Caleb Landry Jones, Marcus Henderson

Storyline:  A young black man goes for a weekend to visit his white girlfriends’ family and it does not turn out to be a normal family reunion.

Review (Spoils): Chris (Daniel Kaluuya) and Rose (Allison Williams) heads to her parents place for the weekend for the first time to introduce him to them. He is nervous as Rose has not told them that he is black. Joking with his friend on the phone on the way up they hit a deer with the car and slowly make their way there. From the beginning Rose’s parents are awkward even her nutty brother. As the weekend goes all the family and friends come as Chris starts to feel uncomfortable around them all but when he starts to talk to the black people of the area the truth starts to unravel.

I personally heard a lot of this film but never really got into the details as I did not want to ruin it for myself. The acting is very well done, and the atmosphere of the film is extreme odd and creepy which really makes the film. The whole chunk of the film is the working of is literally Chris trying to find out what the fuck is going on and why Rose’s group of family are so weird.

When it comes blood and guts the film has not a lot to the focus of the seed of the film starts to reveal. We have a few jump scares first and like I said awkward scenes. In the end we see some nice gun shots, nasty bashes to the head, classic ramming of deer head into someone’s chest and neck and an exposed brain. The blood does flow but not till the end.

Rating:  This film was a lot of fun as it was creepy like Children of the Corn with lots of racist undertones. The story has some originality to it which is very hard to find in horror, so it gets huge cheers for that and plus the scarlet Allison Williams is by no means is horrible to look at for the whole film.

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The Strangers 2 : Prey at Night (2018)

The Strangers 2 : Prey at Night (2018)

Country:  USA

Director:  Johannes Roberts

Main Stars:  Christina Hendricks, Martin Henderson, Bailee Madison, Lewis Pullman, Damian Maffei, Emma Bellomy, Lea Enslin

Storyline:  The stranger three killers are back but this time stalking a family of four.

Review (Spoils): The first film of the first was a gem so this one of course would have a hard time to hit that success. This one takes place in the same area but as a family of four are traveling to drop off their wanna be goth daughter (Bailee Madison) to a boarding school thing go wrong.

To be honest that is the whole damn story, that one simple paragraph to me this does not hurt the film but as from other reviews people feel different. We have a simple plot with some memorable killers again such as Man in the Mask (Damian Maffel), Dollface  (Emma Bellomy)and Pinup (Lea Enslin) but this time things end differently. The film deliveries lots of blood, lots of stabbing, a fire, a very cool blood in the pool scene and lots of back pain.

Rating:  The real problem for this film was the daughter she was not that tough, and her goth image so was so fake it was hard to want her to win. Just because you bought a shirt off of Ebay that says Ramones does not make you cool. The jumps and the creepiness of the film was there but not at great lengths like the first film. But I love these killers and it was hard for me to let them go. But one great fault is the ending cause really nobody could survive all that. The movie could of been greater like way greater but its not as bad as everyone is saying online.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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Eyes of a Stranger (1981)

Eyes of a Stranger (1981)

Country:  USA

Director:  Ken Wiederhorn

Main Stars:  Lauren Tewes, Jenifer Jason Leigh, John DiSeanti

Storyline:  Women are being murdered and a new host is on the hunt who it might be

Review (Spoils): I was about 5min into this film and knew that I was in love with it. It screamed late 70s early 80s horror. It has the grainy feel and it reminded me of Dressed to Kill or something from Dario. From the opening seeing of the dead girl in the creek to almost end I was in entranced with this film. It screamed classic Yacker horror film. We have a noisy new anchor named Jane who is upset with all murders of women and she believes she knows who the killer could be and because of it she might have placed her mute sister Tracy in trouble.

The film has the typical weird lonely man killing and raping women as the cute Jane tries to save the world. Yes, the feel can be uneasily but what the fuck do you want it’s a horror film. The blood is a nice light pink in this film and yes, the ending can be cheesy, but they have some cool kills in this film. A nasty beheading with a meat cleaver, some throat slits, some stabs and a few ripped blouses. Sure, we have some characters doing stupid shit, but this film still rocked.

Rating:  If you like Dario, Dressed to Kill or Maniac (the original) you will need to check this out. This movie was fun and I have to thank my wife for finding it as the more I think about it the more of gem this is. Don’t forget the feed the fishes!

7/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Lodgers (2017)

The Lodgers (2017)

Country:  Ireland

Director:  Brian O’Malley

Main Stars:  Charlotte Vega, Bill Milner, Eugene Simon

Storyline:  Twins are cursed to never leave the house as they have a sinister evil living in their house.

Review (Spoils): Rachel (Charlotte Vega) and Edward (Bill Milner) are trapped in a run-down old house and there is a unexplained evil that lives at night to make sure. There are three rules for the twins, must be in bed for the strike of midnight, don’t let people in and if one breaks the rule they both pay. As one falls in love it all goes weird and both twin struggle with the evil called the Lodgers.

We have a nice little Irish ghost like tale that struggles with a interesting story even though it could of worked. The backdrop is beautiful, but the story got boring and dragged. There is nothing for scares here really, but it does have some eerie to it. The film dips a bit into the incest world which is not a surprise as you can feel it in the beginning so that was not even a surprised. The part that I struggled with was the Lodgers themselves. The evil just did not feel it and the back story was blotchy. Which is too bad because the tale was not bad, but it was too boring to hold my attention.

Rating:  I just get why people enjoy this film. Yes, it was done well and it is a cute tale but for a horror film it just was not enough to keep me going and wanting more. We lack, and scares and we have water and floating bodies sorry but just not enough for beers.

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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First Born (2016)

First Born (2016)

Country:  UK

Director:  Nirpal Bhogal

Main Stars:  Antonia Thomas, Luke Norris, Thea Petrie

Storyline:  A child is born but it leads to a dark entity that haunts the family.

Review (Spoils): When young Charlie (Antonia Thomas) finds out she is pregnant she was not sure what to expect. She tells her boyfriend James (Luke Norris) and they start a new life together. The pregnancy starts to show signs that something is not normal (like claw marks on the belly) and once baby Theo is born things go to Hell. James reaches out to his estrange father who just happens to know about occult. Some strange rules are explained to them form the discovery, like not allowing Theo to have an actual toy doll with a face as she is surround by evilness. Theo gets older and learns to control the strangeness by lying in a circle with candles and yada yada until the evil starts to get out of control.

So that is the simple part of the plot of this story line. As the movie moves it get way more confusing as they add more people who have occult experience into the film. I think they did this to help clarify the reasoning but to be honest it literally confuses the fuck out of the story. I was lost at some point because it stopped to make sense or even lost its reality. Yes, the movie was done on a lower budget but in this one its not the effects that failed but the script. The doll face was an example of “really that seems dumb” and the haunting itself were not overly shocking and you can tell its going to happen before it even does as its cliché.

 

Rating:  The title is confusing even as there are several films that fall under this category that it had me wondering if I already seen this film? So, the story is not overly new, and the story line is a bit of mess and the scares are not that original. So overall you could skip this one and you would not know the difference. Also, the scene at the beginning with the drinking and barfing and whatever in the alley that was too long of scene and pointless really, but maybe I am old and sooner drink alone.

4/10 Beers

Yacker

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The Rezort (2015)

The Rezort (2015)

Country:  UK

Director:  Steve Barker

Main Stars:  Dougray Scott, Jessica De Gouw, Claire Goose, Elen Rhys, Martin McCann

Storyline:  Tourists get to go to an island and shoot zombies, but things go wrong.

Review (Spoils): After a zombie outbreak and the people are in control of the world again. A company decides that they can setup an island and place the undead there so that people can pay to go out and shoot the zombies in the so called wild. They call this a Zafari and when a group of young individuals decide to go out all hell breaks loose when the security fails.

The film had an idea and it could have been like another spin off the Night of the Living Dead Romero’s movies, but it did not build enough backstory. It jumped way to fast into what it is now and get to the island and start to shoot zombies. The characters did not have enough time in the story to build that you cared and really many them are idiots or assholes. So, you did not root for them nor cared if they got eaten. As the Wilton (Claire Goose) struggles because the security has been breached and the zombies start to go out in the wild and attack the paid tourists she hits the security system which is blow up the damn island.

Zombies with good special effects and make up was shocking done well for a lower budget film but that was about it. Zombies should not be able to run! Plan and simple stop it now! We have blood, some bites and way to many gun shots for my liking in a horror film. The acting was okay but the characters were very lacking and made some shitty decisions which I had a hard time to handle.

 

Rating:  Basically, the whole the film is zombies running around (literally running sigh) and attacking people as they try to escape one by one and shoot them. I personally am not a fan of running zombies at all and also not a big shoot them up movie guys, so this film was not winning my attention from the get go. But we had two cuties in the film Jessica De Gouw and Elen Rhys so that held my attention enough for the review as the rest was just okay. By the way the ending….. just ended.

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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