Don’t go into the House (1979)

Don’t go into the House (1979)

Country:  USA

Director:  Joseph Ellison

Main Stars: Dan Grimaldi, Charles Bonet, Bill Ricci, Johanna Brushay

Storyline:  An abused child grows to become a sadist female killer

MV5BMTMwNTkxMzYxMF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzY2MzEzMQ@@__V1_SY317_CR4,0,214,317_AL_Review (Spoils):  A young child named Donny (Dan Grimaldi ) who was abused and burned by his sadist family grows up to become a construction worker. In time he starts to stalk and kill women that he hunts down at night. He places them into a cold strange steel room and ties them up and sets them on fire with a flame torch.

It seems the youth of Donny and his mother holding his hands over the gas burning stove paid off and now he is a fire crazed madman that hates women.  The fire throwing scene I do have to admit is over the top and memorable as it is highly graphic and probably places some added points to this rating. The film is very grainy and gloomy which works well for it. This is movie is really messed up and of course it has lame moments but for this era it is a gem in its own twisted way.

Rating:  If you’re looking for film that leaves you with a icky feeling and enjoy such twisted torments like I Spit on your Grave or The Last House on the Left (of the 70s era) then try this one out. It’s not a great as them but it has its own dark, tormented feel and plus some groovy disco music.

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6/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Day of the Beast (1995)

The Day of the Beast (1995)

Country:  Spain

Director:  Alex de la Iglesia

Main Stars: Alex Angulo, Armando De Razza, Santiago Segura, Nathalie Sessena, Maria Grazia Cucinotta

Storyline:  A priest must do evils things so that he can confront the devil

MV5BMTY5MTY5OTU4OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjE1MjA0MQ@@__V1_SY317_CR4,0,214,317_AL_Review (Spoils):  A confused priest through his studies realises or thinks that the new anti-christ will be born on Christmas day in Madrid. So he comes up the idea that he must keep doing horrible acts so that he can attract the attention of Satan himself. He tries to do all of this with the help of heavy metal fan (Santiago Segura) and this leads into an adventure of its own.

Father Angel is messed up as he tries to turn himself in a devil worshiper so that he brings forth Satan himself.  We have fallen crosses, black humour, slack stick, blood, the search of blood of a virgin, some gore and even Satan himself! The film uses humour to tell the tale of a priest whose mission is stopping the birth of the new anti-chirst by committing sin himself.

Rating:  I have to say if you’re looking for a fun film you need to check this one out.  It’s got its horror and the funny scenes are very memorable like the family of the druggie metal dude is very entertaining. I normally do not like the funny horror films but this one is a gem on its own and it deserves to be enjoyed. It’s up there with Braindead for me when it comes to horror laughs.  Grabs lots of beers and some good close friends that have a fun sick of humour and throw this whacked film on.

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8/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Blood Dolls (1999)

Blood Dolls (1999)

Country:  USA

Director:  Charles Band

Main Stars: Jack Maturin, Debra Mayer, William Paul Burns, Jodie Fisher, Persia White, Venesa Talor

Storyline:  A wealthy deformed madman lives out his revenge and fantasies with the help of little servants.

MV5BMTcxMzc5NTQyMV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTQxNjUyMQ@@__V1_SY317_CR3,0,214,317_AL_Review (Spoils):  Virgil Travis (Jack Maturin) is a mutated psycho who has too much money and time on his hands. His childhood was messed up and he himself has been tormented. He has taken his view of life as pain so he has kidnapped a female rock band and tortures them for fun and starts the killing the game out of boredom. In this tiresome life of his he created a trio of dolls that will kill for him and payback anyone who has wronged him.

Picture a film of twisted romance of love, brutal pain and a low budget. I was expecting something along the lines of The Puppet Master series but this film is not the case. The film sticks to the character build of the massive head Virgil and his path to find true love and be accepted. We have some blood, a dwarf, some goth chicks in a cage jamming and little dolls that like to murder.

Rating:  Not as good as The Puppet Master series but different but unfortunately its falls a little flat because it is just is not unique enough for me. But for a night of nothing to do and you want to see something you have seen yet this is not horrible.

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3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Wicker Man (1973)

The Wicker Man (1973)

Country:  UK

Director:  Robin Hardy

Main Stars: Christopher Lee, Edward Woodward, Diane Cilento, Britt Ekland

Storyline:  A missing girl upon an island leads to a group of people that state that she never existed. What is really happening with this small community?

MV5BMTU2MzEzNjU4Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzc1NTYzMQ@@__V1_SY317_CR2,0,214,317_AL_Review (Spoils):  Welcome to Summerisle where something strange is happening we have the disappearance of young girl named Rowan Morrison and even her own mother is not worried and denies all. The island is isolated and is known for the fruit that it bears along with the maypole, the act of using toads to cure sickness and the beliefs are very druid and leans towards reincarnation.  During the investigation looking for the young girl the truth of people of the island starts to come to light as it is a pagan like group that live upon the island with the leader being Lord Summerisle (Christopher Lee) being the craziest of all.

This film is a classic when it comes to films dealing with the occult. Christopher Lee is outstanding as he plays the madman druid that believes that with sacrifice to the old gods their crops will prosper. The clothing, make-up and hair are what stand out for the film and of course the finale with the wicker man itself on fire. The film is beautiful with lots of Scotland like scenery and the hippy cult that exists on the island.

Rating:  This is a classic when it comes eerie horror films of the 70s era. Next to Dracula of the Hammer films this is Christopher Lee next great horror character. Grab some beers and sit back and enjoy a classic horror film with this one. It blows the remake way out of the water and who does not like Christopher Lee?

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7/10 Beers!

Yacker

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What Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)

What Happened to Baby Jane? (1962)

Country:  USA

Director:  Robert Aldrich

Main Stars: Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, Victor Buono, Wesley Addy

Storyline:  A former child star lives in her child star past and torments her younger crippled sister with what was.

MV5BMzExNjAyNzk2MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTkyOTAyMQ@@__V1_SY317_CR9,0,214,317_AL_Review (Spoils):  Baby Jane Hudson (Bette Davis) was once a Hollywood childhood star but now lives in a fallen apart mansion with her crippled younger sister Blanche (Joan Crawford). Blanche who also was an actress but older sister was always jealous of. Through the film we were the connection of Blanche’s disability and Baby Jane and the control of her younger sister starts to take its toll.  Baby Jane starts to lose her mind more and more and the micro control and hold that she has over Blanche starts to become scary and overwhelming.

We have minds games that Jane wants to be more like Blanche as she was more successful in her later years unlike Jane herself. We have dead birds, thrown out letters, disconnection from society, the whacked out Jane telling herself and living in her past about how great she was and she is the victim now.

Both sisters play the parts amazing as the horror of this film is the mind of Baby Jane herself. Don’t expect blood or gore in this on e as it plays off as a dark and gloomy film and the tension works well. as it plays off as a dark and gloomy film and the tension works well.

Rating:  Both Bette Davis and Joan Crawford are legends when it comes movies in general but at the same they have both done their share of horror films. This film stands out on its own not just as a classic mind twist horror film but a classic film in general which is very rare and hard to find in this day and age of horror films. To me Bette Davis was always a bit scary to watch yes she was known for her eyes but to me they were not beautiful but yet creepy as she always had that look that something else was going on behind them.

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8/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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Annabelle (2014)

Annabelle (2014)

Country:  USA

Director:  John R. Leonetti

Main Stars: Ward Horton, Annabelle Wallis, Alfre Woodard

Storyline:  A couple experiences some supernatural occurrences through a doll since they were attacked by hippies.

MV5BMjM2MTYyMzk1OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNDg2MjMyMjE@__V1_SX214_AL_

Review (Spoils):  Mia (Annabelle Wallis) receives a rare doll that was missing from her doll collection from her husband (pretty rough shaped looking doll). After that time she and her husband get attacked by some satanic cult hippies but they both survive. What they did not know is the hippy chick dropped her soul or an evil haunt into the doll before she slit her own throat. This film is a prequel to The Conjuring which now explains the opening sequence of that film. We have a doll moving from one area to another for no reason, blood, crazy cult members, some ghostly children, the ghost of the hippy chick and the typical ghost pulling people around on the floor. Nothing that really screams original here.

Rating:  I do have to say that I held expectations up for this film as I did enjoy The Conjuring and I was pretty disappointed. I was expecting some crazy ass satanic cult stuff or some really messed up possession but instead I was just served the creepy doll with some typical ghost stuff. This can be a total let down if you’re a diehard horror fan who has seen a lot of really messed up stuff. This film was not boring but at the same time it is overhyped.

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4/10 Beers!

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See No Evil (2006)

See No Evil (2006)

Country:  USA

Director:  Gregory Dark

Main Stars: Glen Jacobs (Kane), Christina Vidal, Michael J. Pagan, Samantha Noble, Rachael Taylor, Penny McNamee, Tiffany Lamb, Steven Vidler

Storyline:  Madman Jacob Goodnight is living in the Blackwell Hotel and he wants revenge

MV5BMTg3MTgxNDI1MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTkzMjYzMQ@@__V1_SX214_AL_Review (Spoils):  Four years ago a madman named Jacob Goodnight blinded a woman and get taken out by a shot in the head by a cop (he kills his partner and slices off his arm before that). The cop is sent to work as a guard now at the detention center (because he is missing his arm) and he comes across the burnt out Blackwell Hotel which they want to revert to help the homeless with the work of past criminals (with the deal of reduced sentence if they help with the project).  Jacob is there and wants revenge, he kidnaps a young criminal named Kira (she has some religious tattoos) and he starts to axe and hook the remaining in the building.

We have some basic slasher types in this film, teenagers that are too bad to be bad, a madman who kills and stalks like other past killers, some pretty bad acting, axe swinging, hooks snagging, blood and gore and some very paper thin characters that you do not care die.

Rating:  Not sure why I was expecting more from a WWE wrestler as the killer, a bunch actresses and actors I never heard of and a director who has connections to porn. It’s all too bad as Kane could of made a great killer , maybe even been the next Kane Hodder but no this film stunk and it was sometimes painful. I really was hoping I could drink to the collector of the eyes of the sinner but it was a bit dry and empty. I would watch Gregory Dark other named films when he was Gregory Hippolyte Brown.

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3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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