The Conjuring II (2016)

The Conjuring II (2016)

Country:  USA

Director:  James Wan

Main Stars:  Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Madison Wolfe, Bonnie Aarons

Storyline:  A family’s daughter is being haunted by a demon presence and need help.

Review (Spoils): The Warrens (Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson) return as they travel to help a family after a desperate call for help as their youngest daughter (Madison Wolfe) seems to be possessed. When they arrive as usual they need to convince everyone that it is real and not another fake parole trick. During this whole speak in deep voices and flying stuff Vera also see’s Patrick’s death in a vision. What is the deal with the old man haunting the young girl and what is the connection of the Marilyn Manson nun (Bonnie Aarons) to it all?

This film does not stray far from the first one except the hauntings are done better. The nun is the star of the film to be honest and kept me intrigued. We have floating kids, stuff flying, some deep haunting voices, possession and a couple creepy parts. The one thing about this film that was missing was I was not frighten or weirder out at all.

Rating:  It could be me, but I find all these haunting films confusing and I do get them mixed up as I watch them. But this one I did not mind and enjoyed the nun a lot, the makeup was done great. The Warrens are an interesting lot and I really would not mind if they kept the series going. Sure, it had some faults like why would a demon give their true name out in any way?  Unlike some of the other haunting films series.

7/10 Beers!

Yacker

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Haunting

Terrifier (2017)

Terrifier (2017)

Country:  USA

Director:  Damien Leon

Main Stars:  Jenna Kanell, Samantha Scaffidi, David Howard Thornton, Catherine Corcora, Pooya Moheseni

Storyline:  A crazy clown is stalking and slaughtering people for fun

Review (Spoils): Art the Clown (David Howard Thornton) is the strong silent type, but he likes to kill people just for fun. Art is a terrifying blood mess and will not stop his fun games. As a group of young ladies run into him in the dark streets he starts to stalk one of them named Tara (Jenna Kanell). As things start to become a bit more weird he decides he done with the flirting and time to make them pay and everyone else that gets in his way.

Art the Clown is one bad mother fucker. He is dressed as a black and white clown and scary as hell. He never talks and has no fear of getting his hands dirty and having a little sample of his kills. This film created a whole new horror villain and he stands out large much like his teeth.

Terrifier is not for the weak of heart that is for sure. This is one messed up film that never stops on the blood and gore.  We have a clown that would eat the one from IT for breakfast! We got lots of blood, gun shots, stabbings, slashings, a crazy over the top hacksaw scene which will make any female cringe, eyes gouging, beheadings, body skin graph wearing, nudity and I can go on and on.. this is a freaky blood fest!

The acting is not that bad for a low budget film and to be honest Jenna Kanell was well worth the watch on her own. But to be honest outside of Jenna Kanell hotness Art the Clown stole the show. He is what we need in horror a new horror icon that stands out and I want more!

Rating:  Damien Leon thank you! This film had me suckered in at the 5min mark and I was glued to the screen the whole time and was disappointed when it ended. Its been a while since a horror film grabbed my attention like that. If you seem to enjoy what I have from ratings in the past do yourself a huge favor and grab this one! Thank you again Damien Leon for Art and for Jenna Kanell and Samantha Scaffidi well done sir. One of the best I have seen this year.

8/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Slasher

Leatherface (2017)

Leatherface (2017)

Country:  USA

Director:  Alexandre Bustillo, Julien Maury

Main Stars:  Stephen Dorff, Lili Taylor, Sam Strike, Vanessa Grasse, Sam Coleman, Finn Jones, Jessica Madsen, James Bloor, Nathan Cooper

Storyline:  The story of Leatherface’s childhood past is told

Review (Spoils): The film starts out explaining why the police force and the people in the county fear the Sawyers family. Verna (Lili Taylor) the mother of the madness loses her children including Leatherface who at this point is Hal (Stephen Dorff). The film goes into the mental hospital where they finally break loose and take a sexy nurse (Vanessa Grasse) with them. As the runaway and kill off people on this path of freedom we see connection of none other Nubbins (Nathan Cooper). The truth is told about why Leatherface becomes the monster he is.

This film screams like it was directed by Rob Zombie but not in a bad way. I am a hardcore Sawyer fan and it takes a lot for me to hate a Texas Chainsaw film and this one was not bad. Sure, its got another in the past storyline and with a film in this series it does become confusion which order they stand and how many different begins could we have? The only thing this film was missing in the end was it should have shown him walking to a slaughter farm, so it would show some continuity.

We some chainsaw action (but not much), lots of blood, some gore, gunshots, slashing, stabbing, some tormenting and none stop weirdness as it is the Sawyers!

Rating:  Rob Zombie should be honored that they stole of The Devil Rejects feel for this film as he stole form the series to begin with, House of 1000 Corpses. Sure, the film is not as great as the first two original ones, but it does make a come back from the last one which was a teeny bop nightmare. Also Lili Taylor surprised me, she rocked the role!

From a die hard fan of the series thank you for bringing some life back to the series!

Lets keep making them!

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

Leave a comment

Filed under Cannibal

The Poltergeist of Borley Forest / American Poltergeist II (2013)

The Poltergeist of Borley Forest / American Poltergeist II (2013)

Country:  USA

Director:  Stephen McKendree

Main Stars:  Marina Petrano, Christopher Ingle, Rhea Rossiter, Nicholas Barrera

Storyline:  A young girl is being haunted since a party in a forest.

Review (Spoils): This one that is even more confusing than the first film. We have a teenage girl who goes to a forest party and since she is being stalked by a man who is creepy in his own way and seeing strange things. With the help of her friends and her brother she tries to figure out the history and the connection to herself.

So, the acting is better but man this story line is slow and boring. We have like no action except some creepy dude trying to get laid for the first hour. Do not expect scares or very little blood (in a flashback) as there is just a lot of talking and semi bad acting. The deaths are off screen and just more chats. The parents are horrible actors and this film will make you sleep!

The film goes by a number of different titles like American Poltergeist II and You Will Love Me.

Rating:  Why the Hell would they tie in a name of a second one when the first one was so bad. At least if you are trying to resurrect the series go out with a bang of gore and scares. Not yet another boring story line which has no real background or even connection to the first film. This is actually equal if not worse than the first film (yes, the acting is better) but man it is fucking boring. Even with the original titles, this film is bad. The only thing going for it the Lindsay Lohen lookalike Page (Marina Petrano).

2/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Haunting

American Poltergeist (2015)

American Poltergeist (2015)

Country:  USA

Director:  Michael Rutkowski

Main Stars:  Simona Fusco, Donna Spangler, Aaron Lee, Nicole Holland, Ashly Green Elizabeth, Nikole Howell

Storyline:  A bunch of stupid teenagers rent a place to go to school that is haunted by the ghost of Lizzy Borden.

Review (Spoils): We have a bunch of cute girls that can not act renting a massive mansion for a stoned out Zoe. Which by the way is haunted by the ghost of Lizzy Borden and things are pretty damn boring for the next hour and half.

The acting of this film is bad… like real bad. The dialogue cannot hold the movie and man you need to drink to keep with the slow pace and bad lines. This film should have been a porn and then it may make sense, but this film was just god awful. The acting is total laughable, the lines are head shake worthy, the girls are cute, and most kills are off the camera… so not much going for it.

Not even Lizzy was worth it! So many things bad about this storyline. “like a long time ago in 1992” really for fuck sakes it was not that long ago. Three cars not starting at once we better wait till morning and get a mechanic. Oh wait your not my sister? Massive house but two girls room together? What’s the deal with Simona Fusco? Nobody was naked in this whole film when its this bad? What kind of pool party was that….? Wow boring! This film is horrible!

Rating:  What’s worse than this film? There is a second one which I will review later. This film should have been a porn….. must drink lots to get by it. Its got some babes but no nudity so that’s a fail for a film this bad.

1/10 Beers!

Yacker

Leave a comment

Filed under Haunting

Stephanie (2017)

Stephanie (2017)

Country:  USA

Director:  Akiva Goldsman

Main Stars:  Shree Crooks, Frank Grillo, Anna Torvo

Storyline:  A young girl is alone after a mysterious global crisis battling against an unknown evil entity.

Review (Spoils): Stephanie is home all alone except with her stuffed turtle named Franklin and her dead brother. The questions are where is everyone, what has happened and what are the strange shadow things that haunt her that she is hiding from?

Stephanie is a strange little film that has you asking the above questions over and over until about a little over half way through as the story line starts to show its light. The problem is I personally like the story line I had in head better (as you are guessing) more than the actual story itself.  Shree Crooks steals the show of the film that is for sure and the father would be a close second, Frank Grillo. Not sure if it was the lack of character build or just Anna Torvo but it was not believable.  Do not expect blood and gore at all as the film relies on the secret of what is really happening and the shadow creature so to speak.

Rating:  Honestly this film leans on Sci-Fi way more than horror. Sure, it has some unknown evil entity to it, but it was unbelievable that it became space like. This film could of went a few ways in the story line revel but unfortunate for me it was not a path I would of took as the final story. But like said before it was worth watching once and Shree Crooks played the character very well even outside of the crappy CGI.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

Leave a comment

Filed under Haunting

Hush (2016)

Hush (2016)

Country:  USA

Director:  Mike Flanagan

Main Stars:  John Gallagher Jr., Kate Siegel, Michael Trucco

Storyline:  A deaf writer lives alone in the woods is stalked by a killer.

Review (Spoils):  Maddie (Kate Siegel) lives in the woods after she went through a bad break up and using the seclusion also to help her with her writing. Maddie has been deaf since she was a young girl who got sick and the complications of that cost her, her hearing. Also, being the woods helps her straighten out the voices of her mother in her head that creates the vision of her novels. What Maddie does not know is that her neighbour next door has been slaughtered and a man with a white mask is taunting her in her house.

This film screams The Strangers meets Wait Until Dark, except there is only one stalker and the actress are deaf not blind. The movie is not bad as it goes back and forth on the main actress trying to live and escape as the stalker goes back and forth torturing her and trying to get everyone that drops by out of the way of his plan. The explanation of why the killer is doing it is kind of dull and not really well rounded except that he is nuts. We have some blood, a cat slaughter, some blood on the glass, a white mask, lots of darkness, stabbings and some silent screams. But the film fell apart near the middle and dragged on. The only part that it picked up again was when the boyfriend of the girl next door showed up and the conversations between the two them started to reveal he was not a cop but the killer to the dude.

Rating:  This film stated off really cool and I thought to myself okay finally a fresh film of horror. Instead it started to into just a psycho who wants to kill her because he does not get his way. Lame…. Sure, the film was entertaining but do not expect anything surprising with this film.  Kate Siegel was actually really good and was the only reason to keep watching as she played the character well.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

Leave a comment

Filed under Slasher