Unfriended (2014)

Unfriended (2014)

Country:  USA

Director:  Levan Gabriadze

Main Stars:  Shelley Hennig, Heather Sossaman, Matthew Bohrer, Courtney Halverson, Moses Storm, Renee Olstead, Will Peltz, Jacob Wysocki

Storyline:  A group of internet friends become haunted and threaten by a dead friend who wants revenge.

Review (Spoils): Laura thought she had the best friends in the world until the truth came out and she decided to take her own life. As her friends move on and start to chat as usual on the internet someone over takes their phone chat window and slowly starts to expose the truth. The ugly truth that they really are not all nice friends to each other. As the annoying screaming youngsters try to get rid of the snoop, secret messages and pictures start to appear on social media to freak them out.

So here is the low down of this loud and annoying film. The characters annoying me to hell and I was praying that the mystery killer would knock them off sooner and help me get over my hate. So much screaming, so much drama, so much how cares just sign off the fucking internet, go outside, and enjoy nature. The scary part of this film is that people care that much about social media. I will keep this in mind when my kids get older and I will explain to them the internet is full of trolls and what matters is what you feel inside not what is placed on a stupid website that a bunch of people nobody gives a shit about sees. (as I post this on a website LOL). Now get off my lawn!

This film has nothing but beeps, typing and some flashes of what could be gory and bloody. Which seems lacking and not making sense as it is not even possible the deaths (except the gun shot one). We have some blood, some shit, some media pictures, a blender, a curling iron, a gunshot and some messing screens. Nothing really wow here people.

Rating:  Welcome to a movie where everyone deserves to die because they are whiny teenagers that think people care about them in the real world of the internet. Go outside and disconnect people occasionally. There is more to life then social media (anti-social to be true) but unfortunately, there is not to this film.

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Bye Bye Man (2017)

The Bye Bye Man (2017)

Country:  USA

Director:  Stacy Title

Main Stars:  Douglas Smith, Lucien Laviscount, Cressida Bonas, Jenna Kanell, Marisa Echeverria, Cleo King

Storyline:  Some young friends learn and unleash a nightmare horror and learn about the false visions they are witnessing.

Review (Spoils): Three friends moving into a Campus house, mess around with the occult, and unleash a nightmare horror known as the By Bye Man. The story goes that the Bye Bye Man will kill and haunt whoever learns his true name. The friends work together trying to keep the boogie safe and the friends safe.  As people learn, about the secret they start to see visions, the Bye Bye Man, and his nightmare dog (something from Hellraiser) come to visit them.

OK this film is a mess on a number ways. I could not relate with the young characters at all and really could not care less if they were killed.  Sure, we have visions and are not sure what is real and what is not. Some of the scenes were interesting like the one with the sex scene and the train scene but the special effects are somewhat lacking on budget. The main villain I just could not get into as he looks like something from Harry Potter and the dog was just dumb. The film has creepy parts but most the film I was just bored. Some blood, lame CGI, train smash, some bats and stabs, gunshots, some doggie style sex and some silly looking bad guys. But the storyline was lame and the acting was sub par. There just was not enough excitement to keep me glued to the screen. I was expecting a fun new bad guy instead I got some teenage crap.

Rating:  I could not care this villain if he returned. The film is so focused on young people and silly drama that the horror got lost. Like stated above some of the vision scenes were fun and the back story of the dude shooting up everyone was also entertaining but way too much talking for a horror film. Thank god for Jenna Kanell to keep me glued to the screen for a little bitI say don’t say the Name of this film!

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Creep 2 (2017)

Creep 2 (2017)

Country:  USA

Director:  Patrick Brice

Main Stars:  Karan Soni, Mark Duplass, Desiree Akhaven

Storyline: Aaron is back and this time a host from Encounters wants to film him.

Review (Spoils): Sara (Desiree Akhaven) a webcast host of a show called Encounters wants to end her show due to lack of viewers. She takes on last whack at her show for the finale and finds Aaron’s (Mark Duplass) add online. She meets Aaron and believes that she has found the work of her dream, as none is weirder then Aaron. After meeting and asking a millions questions back and forth Sara starts to worry about herself and if she is going to survive the night.

Once again, Aaron is back at it again, building friendships, romances and killing them as his mind snaps.  Aaron gives us the lovely return of Peach Fuzz, some axes, knives, nasty stabs, mind games, nasty blood neck slash and of course a nice hanging. Aaron is as nuts as before and Sara adds a nice new element to the series.

Only a few things bothered me with this film. We get Aaron naked but when it came to Sara, it was just a headshot (which to me I personally think the full nude on Desiree Akhaven would add more to the exploitation, which we want with this film). Secondly, even at the end of the killing is off camera if we are to get a wild ending why not exploit it to the audience? And more Peach Fuzz you had the perfect spot for it near the end.

Rating:  To be honest I love this series and it easy to be suckered into. I really enjoy the Aaron character so hats off to Mark Duplass again. The film sure had some flaws and some missed wishes but yet again this film was fast paced and creepy enough to be me entertained. Maybe we could have used more Peach Fuzz.

7/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Veronica (2017)

Veronica (2017)

Country:  Spain

Director:  Paco Plaza

Main Stars:  Sandra Escacena, Bruna Gonzalez, Claudia Placer, Ivan Chavero, Ana Torrent, Angela Fabian, Carla Campra

Storyline:  A group of young girls paly with a Ouija board and there is Hell to pay at main girl’s house now

Review (Spoils): Back in 1991 in Madrid a tale is told about a young girl named Veronica (Sandra Escacena) who looks after her younger sisters and brother as her mother is always working. She and her friends decide to mess around with an Ouija board and talk to her dead father. The session goes wrong, Veronica starts to act strange since, and her friends are ignoring her. While back home things start to act up, she starts to see things, and her younger siblings are frighten to Hell. Veronica goes to Sister Death looking for help and exorcist the demon/ghost from her home.

So this film got a lot of hype and I figured I would check it out as some my twitter feeds and partners were saying it was not bad. Checking the film out it was not horrible, the teenage stuff does seem a repeated but some of the sounds and special effects were okay. I personally thought the best characters of the film was the younger children, Ivan Chavero stole the show for me. Not that Sandra Escacena was bad it was just her character. I really could not relate to her and did not overly care for. But some of scenes gave nice odes to past horror films like the hands reaching out of the bed, the blood stain on the bed, the appearing and disappearing old man and the ending action scene which leads to the end of the film.

Rating:  This film was no [ REC] , it was not a bad film but the scares were lacking and the ending was pretty predictable of the outcome. No twists or over surprises really. However, one thing I did like and some people are bitching about was the music. I am sorry but the keyboard music reminded me of the classic Goblin days of the Italian horror (which to me the gems of Horror) so that was a nice touch. But the film was lacking on the true scares but man Ivan Chavero with the glasses rocked!

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Eraserhead (1977)

Eraserhead (1977)

Country:  USA

Director:  David Lynch

Main Stars:  Jack Nance, Charlotte Stewart, Allen Joseph, Jeanne Bates, Judith Roberts, Laurel Near

Storyline:  Henry Spencer tries to adapt with his surroundings, new girlfriend and mutant baby

Review (Spoils): This film was been on my list of going to watch for many years. The other night finally the time had come to checkout the classic known as Eraserhead. From the beginning of the film you know you are about to watch something that is a piece of art and not huge on story line but read through the symbolic scenes are appear before you. Henry Spencer (Jack Nance) is trying to just survive what is before him and what is visioning in his mind and that is what the film is pretty much. He gets his girlfriend (Charlotte Stewart) pregnant and they have a mutant baby that near stops crying that drives them insane.

The visuals are crazy with this film, we have a nutty family (my favorite part of the film actually), a man on the moon, blood, a gross chicken scene, a woman who lives in a water heater rad that has puffy cheeks and sings, sperm stomping, smashed head, some pencils, some seduction on the bed and the classic screaming horse mutant baby. The most unforgettable of the film is Henry himself, the crying mutant baby, the upset girlfriend (her family) and the sexy woman from across the hall (Judith Roberts). The film does not strive on horror but instead on the weirdness and the sounds of the movie. The sounds and audio is what makes this a strange and memorable film.

Rating:  Welcome the first of the beginning of the twisted world of David Lynch. This film is not boring by a long shot but by the end, you will say what the fuck I just watched. This film is not for everyone and do not watch it stoned!

6/10 Beers! (why 6 cause it is messed up!)

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Insidious 3 (2015)

Insidious 3 (2015)

Country:  USA

Director:  Leigh Whannell

Main Stars:  Dermot Mulroney, Stefanie Scott, Angus Samspon, Lin Shaye

Storyline:  A prequel on the storyline where Elise Rainier uses her abilities to talk a dead mother for a young teenage girl.

Review (Spoils): Quinn (Stefanie Scott) is a young teenage girl who lost her mother and she wants to communicate with her. Therefore, she reaches out to psychic Elise Rainer (Lin Shaye) to help her with that. During which Rainer comes across the dark side of the after life and could not provide what Quinn was looking for. Quinn heads home, deals with normal teenage life, and is hit by a car. She dies in a way but is brought back to life. During which because she crossed over and messed with Rainer things start to go weird for her.

First off, I really dislike it when films think it is smart to go back in time for a sequel. This story really did not need to be told and I had an issue with that. Do not get me wrong the acting from both female leads Lin Shaye and Stefanie Scott was great but the film felt like it was a lighter side of Insidious tale. Mother and daughter bond was it too mushy for taste in a horror film.

Same story when it comes to graphics on this one, ghosts, dreams, red and black man, some spooky old man that cannot breath, the old lady in black and a motherly ghost that watches over her daughter. The coolest scene of the film was when Quinn smashes the casts off her legs.

Rating:  This film be prepared to wait for something to happen. Excessively much story line on just the teenage girl and her drama of coping with the lost of her mother and having to pick up the slack. It drags on way to long for a horror film that belongs to series that is suppose to scare. This film was too predictable and too corny for my liking. I want creepiness and new types of scares at this day and age. This one is old hat.

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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Creep (2014)

Creep (2014)

Country:  USA

Director:  Patrick Brice

Main Stars:  Patrick Brice, Mark Duplass

Storyline:  A videographer is hired to film a lonely man in the woods as he is dying with cancer.

Review (Spoils): A young man named Aaron from Craig’s List is hired to video tape a young man who is dying with cancer and wants to share the video with his new baby to remember him. From the get go Josef is a bit of a loose cannon as he is late for the first greeting and loves to scare poor Aaron. As time passes and the day becomes night, we learn that Josef is a bit darker and wants Aaron to spend the night. After missing keys and some drink, Aaron drugs Josef to get away. This leads to the darker world of Josef and his childhood friend known as Peachfuzz.

This film is slow at the beginning as you try to figure out the characters and why they are together in the woods. However, as time and the story builds you start to see the darker side of Josef. We are introduced to a love crush, some childhood issues and a twist of none stop lies. We learn the hard truth of meeting someone on the internet and trust.

This film is all story and scares, do not expect blood and gore at all with this film. It builds on just tension.

Rating:  This is fun film and it even introduces us to a new horror villain known as Peachfuzz. It is about time someone made a film that dragged me into it and it did not need cheap CGI and over the top torture. Awesome job Patrick Brice!

8/10 Beers!

Yacker

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