Annabelle (2014)

Annabelle (2014)

Country:  USA

Director:  John R. Leonetti

Main Stars: Ward Horton, Annabelle Wallis, Alfre Woodard

Storyline:  A couple experiences some supernatural occurrences through a doll since they were attacked by hippies.

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Review (Spoils):  Mia (Annabelle Wallis) receives a rare doll that was missing from her doll collection from her husband (pretty rough shaped looking doll). After that time she and her husband get attacked by some satanic cult hippies but they both survive. What they did not know is the hippy chick dropped her soul or an evil haunt into the doll before she slit her own throat. This film is a prequel to The Conjuring which now explains the opening sequence of that film. We have a doll moving from one area to another for no reason, blood, crazy cult members, some ghostly children, the ghost of the hippy chick and the typical ghost pulling people around on the floor. Nothing that really screams original here.

Rating:  I do have to say that I held expectations up for this film as I did enjoy The Conjuring and I was pretty disappointed. I was expecting some crazy ass satanic cult stuff or some really messed up possession but instead I was just served the creepy doll with some typical ghost stuff. This can be a total let down if you’re a diehard horror fan who has seen a lot of really messed up stuff. This film was not boring but at the same time it is overhyped.

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4/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Filed under Haunting, Occult

See No Evil (2006)

See No Evil (2006)

Country:  USA

Director:  Gregory Dark

Main Stars: Glen Jacobs (Kane), Christina Vidal, Michael J. Pagan, Samantha Noble, Rachael Taylor, Penny McNamee, Tiffany Lamb, Steven Vidler

Storyline:  Madman Jacob Goodnight is living in the Blackwell Hotel and he wants revenge

MV5BMTg3MTgxNDI1MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTkzMjYzMQ@@__V1_SX214_AL_Review (Spoils):  Four years ago a madman named Jacob Goodnight blinded a woman and get taken out by a shot in the head by a cop (he kills his partner and slices off his arm before that). The cop is sent to work as a guard now at the detention center (because he is missing his arm) and he comes across the burnt out Blackwell Hotel which they want to revert to help the homeless with the work of past criminals (with the deal of reduced sentence if they help with the project).  Jacob is there and wants revenge, he kidnaps a young criminal named Kira (she has some religious tattoos) and he starts to axe and hook the remaining in the building.

We have some basic slasher types in this film, teenagers that are too bad to be bad, a madman who kills and stalks like other past killers, some pretty bad acting, axe swinging, hooks snagging, blood and gore and some very paper thin characters that you do not care die.

Rating:  Not sure why I was expecting more from a WWE wrestler as the killer, a bunch actresses and actors I never heard of and a director who has connections to porn. It’s all too bad as Kane could of made a great killer , maybe even been the next Kane Hodder but no this film stunk and it was sometimes painful. I really was hoping I could drink to the collector of the eyes of the sinner but it was a bit dry and empty. I would watch Gregory Dark other named films when he was Gregory Hippolyte Brown.

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3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Ravenous (1999)

Ravenous (1999)

Country:  USA

Director:  Antonia Bird

Main Stars: Guy Pearce, Robert Carlyle, David Arquette, Jeremy Davies, Jeffery Jones

Storyline:  During the Mexican-American War we hear a tale of cannibalism

MV5BMjExNTQ0MDE4N15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjI1NjAzMQ@@__V1_SY317_CR5,0,214,317_AL_Review (Spoils):  Captain John Boyd (Guy Pearce) is demoted during the Mexican-American War and sent to Fort Spencer. At this fort a Scotsman named Colquhoun (Robert Carlyle) shows up all frozen and looking for help. He gets warmed up and starts to tell the tale of his past leader who would eat people to survive. This starts the investigation and the tale of the Windigo.

Welcome to the 1800’s where we are at war and not afraid to fight, shoot, rape and eat people. This film is not your typical horror film as it does not just throw out some gore, some blood and shock. Instead this film builds on storytelling and that it does well.  We have a nice little story of war in the 1800s along with the mystery and then cut loose at the end. We have lots of eating, shooting and biting and a nice conversation piece on the right way to eat people.

Rating:  This is a savage film that does not need a lot of gore to make it work. Antonia Bird created something different here and I still count this as horror. The acting is very well done, the cast is great, the storyline is very interesting and hell it is about cannibals. I personally think Jeffery Jones stood out if possible.  If you have not seen this film I recommend it.

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7/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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Night of the Bloody Apes (1969)

Night of the Bloody Apes (1969)

Country:  Mexico

Director:  Rene Cardona

Main Stars: Jose Elais Moreno, Carlos Lopeze Moctezuma, Armando Silvestre, Norma Lazareno

Storyline:  A female wrestler wants to save her sons life so they try an experiment which mixes his blood with an ape.

MV5BMTI1NzA1MjQ4Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTAzOTQyMQ@@__V1_SY317_CR2,0,214,317_AL_Review (Spoils):  Female wrestler Lucy (Norma Lazareno) with her snazzy devil costume beats the crap out of people for a living. The years of doing this and hurting people is starting to wear on her mental health and she wants to quit plus her son (Carlos Lopeze Moctezuma ) has leukemia and needs a new heart. She works with a crazed scientist named Dr. Krallman (Jose Elais Moreno) who wants to do a heart transplant with an ape.  This leads the boy to turn into what would be an ape-man.

This was one of the Video Nasties so I thought I better track down a copy and check it out. Well it’s not that shocking but we do have some blood such footage of the heart surgery, heads getting ripped and knocked off, eye gouging, female wrestling, ripped blouses and over exposes ladies and some bad gorilla make up. The movie is a bit graphic and yet with the bad translations it was funny.

Rating:  This film is great for a night of drinking and leaving the brain turned off. We have some serious gore, crazy monster make up and some exploitation as horror has it. We have blood and nudity what more do you want for a movie with lack of acting and poor storyline. Enjoy!

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5/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Monster from Green Hell (1957)

Monster from Green Hell (1957)

Country:  USA

Director:  Kenneth G. Crane

Main Stars: Jim Davis, Robert Griffon, Joel Fluellen, Barbara Turner

Storyline:  In Africa wasps have been exposed to radiation turning them into massive monsters.

MV5BMTI3OTY3ODM5OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwOTE2MDAyMQ@@__V1_SY317_CR5,0,214,317_AL_Review (Spoils):  the silly government was testing on creatures with radiation and sending them into orbit. Well one of them got stuck there longer than planned and they lost track of it. What they did not know at the time was that it crashed into Central Africa and now the populace is in trouble. Strange occurrences are happening and people are dying. The bodies are being attacked and it is striking the nerves system of the body, animals are fleeing from Green Hell and lord behold they come across a larger than life wasp.

Monster movie time for this one, we have plastic looking wasps, a large crab and lots of running animals out of Green Hell.  Most of the movie is a bunch of investigators and scientists making the track to and through Green Hell, we have poisonous water, animals battling animals, running animals, a wasp colony, and some explosions and of what is a monster movie in another country without a volcano?

Rating:  Well this film is a B film at the most, the acting is horrible and the special effects are pretty damn cheap. But it is the 50s and monster movies were the thing and I have seen a hell of a lot worse than this. Giants wasps and a Misfits tune call for pints for this one.

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4/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Let Me In (2010)

Let Me In (2010)

Country:  UK

Director:  Matt Reeves

Main Stars: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Chloe Grace Moretz, Richard Jenkins, Cara Buono, Sasha Barrese

Storyline:  A young boy befriends a young girl vampire

MV5BNDQ4MjQ4OTMwMF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwOTYzNDc4Mw@@__V1_SX214_AL_Review (Spoils):  Owen (Kodi Smit-McPhee ) lives a poor life of being picked on because he is a little different. He dreams of the day when he confront his bullies and make them pay, well along comes adorable Abby (Chloe Grace Moretz). She appears only at night and is new to the neighbourhood and people do not know much about her. While this cute kid love affair is building the police are on a hunt for strange cult that drains blood from their victims, which is really Abby’s dad you is a ancient vampire and he needs to feed his daughter.

Remake time again, and this time it is not bad. We have lots of blood in this one and both leading character Chloe Grace Moretz and Kodi Smit-McPhee hold it well together. Something about Chloe Grace Moretz makes you entranced to the film. She is cute and yet scary as hell when she is pissed off. This nightmare like fairytale shows the softer and harder side of being a child that just does not fit in and yet twisted with the shady vampire side of things. We have great acting, gloomy story and lots of red what is there not to like about this film.

Rating:  I personally hate remakes so I did not have high hopes for this as I did enjoy the original Let the Right One In. But Chloe Grace Moretz stole my heart with her performance in this film and made this remake something that is gearing very close to the being as good as the original. If you have not seen this film go do it…its vampire fun with a side of dark childhood.

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8/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Ginger Snaps 2 (2004)

Ginger Snaps 2 (2004)

Country:  Canada

Director:  Brett Sullivan

Main Stars: Emily Perkins, Katharine Isabelle, Brendan Fletcher, Tatlana Maslany, Janet Kidde, Susan Adam, Pascale Hutton

Storyline:  Brigitte tries to deal and slow down her lust for blood with drugs

MV5BMjE1MTIxMTc0MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwOTIxMjUyMQ@@__V1_SY317_CR2,0,214,317_AL_Review (Spoils):  Brigitte (Emily Perkins) tries to take her own life with drugs as she does not want to end up like her sister Ginger (Katharine Isabelle). She is found and sent to rehab to get cleaned up. She comes across someone who can relate with her own issues named Ghost (Tatlana Maslany) and the girls together try to resolve Brigitte’s issue of becoming a werewolf.

Man I loved this first film and I had high hope for this sequel. We have a story that is to continue the tale of the first film, we have Ginger’s sister Brigitte injecting drugs to slow the process of becoming a werewolf, the ghost of Ginger giving her advice, werewolf transitions, some masturbation, cutting of a ear and the final werewolf battle. This film trails far off the tracks of the first teenage sex craving werewolf fun of the first film. This one is darker and deals with abuse, drugs and blackmail.

Rating:  I really did miss the fun of the first film had in this one. I personally find Emily Perkins a harder actress to relate to then Katharine Isabelle, she is more depressing and interesting. Sure we can say it is the character but either way it dragged a bit for me. Yes it is not suppose to be sexy and goth loving as the first one but it was hard not to compare the two. The special effects were not bad and the storyline was semi ok but for some reason it could have used more arousal like the first film.

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6/10 Beers!

Yacker

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