As Above, So Below (2014)

As Above, So Below (2014)

Country:  USA

Director: John Erick Dowdle

Main Stars: Perdita Weeks, Ben Feldman, Edwin Hodge, Francois Civil, Marion Lambert

Storyline: A young woman gets a gang of explorers to venture into some catacombs underneath Paris to uncover the secret of the City of the Dead.

Review (Spoils): The young and beautiful Scarlett (Perdita Weeks) is an adventurous explorer who wants to live up to her father’s name and make sure his life and death was worth it.  She starts a documentary on her choices and her travels as she tries to break into where the City of the Dead is located. She travels to the eastern lands and cracks into a hidden catacomb and takes with her video and pictures of the lost words. She uses her charm and gets help from fellow explorer George (Ben Feldman) to get it translated and they end up in Paris. In Paris they track down a bigger group of young explorers and they travel underground to find the lost City of the Dead.

We have the typical young and wild party people, the very talented and gorgeous Perdita Weeks, ghosts, jumpy camera, a stone bull, flashes of supposedly scary people, some flying blows, a nasty gored out fall, a crazy head bash (one of the best in the film), a healing stone, the cute Marion Lambert, some closer phobic moments and the same damn film as Grave Encounters.

Rating: I was expecting a lot more from this film. I read a number of reviews and they seemed to be great but once I started watching the film it screamed Grave Encounters and/or a horrible version of [REC]. I am personally so tired of the video camera view when it comes to horror films. It has been overdone like 5 years ago! As soon as I see this now in a film I scream to myself no budget but wanted to make the film anyways. When you have such a beautiful talented actress like Perdita Weeks do not waste it with this replicated horror stuff. Such a waste.

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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What’s the Matter with Helen? (1971)

What’s the Matter with Helen? (1971)

Country:  USA

Director: Curtis Harrington

Main Stars: Debbie Reynolds, Shelley Winters, Dennis Weaver

Storyline: Two women open up a dance school to get away that fact that their sons are convicted to murder.

Review (Spoils): Helen (Shelley Winters) and Adele (Debbie Reynolds) both have sons that committed a very gruesome murder and to get away from it all they go to California. They work together to open up a dance school for children.  Adele being the dancer and the teacher and Helen being the piano player they work together to make a go of it.  Through time Helen starts to get disturbing phone calls from someone that is blaming the mothers for what the sons did.  Adele is obsessed on being rich and being famous and its not long before she is bashing her eyes towards one of the children’s fathers (Dennis Weaver). While during all this Helen is starting to crack.

The film is very dark and gloomy and written a bit cheesy. The acting done well but the writing leaves the character seem a bit off and I believe this is on purpose. Shelley Winters plays the mom next door as Debbie Reynolds plays the more ditsy want fame and love character. Dennis Weaver just looks like Burt Reynolds.  The Film does have some holes in it and there is some characters thrown into the mix just to say it has more build. I was semi lost in the storyline to be honest as the whole film seems to be a secret.

We have bloody rabbits, strange phone calls, terrible music, stabbings and some nice brownish blood. The ending of the film makes the film worth the watch….trust me.

Rating: Along the veins of What Happened to Baby Jane? this film is not as good but it is darker. We have a couple leading female actresses that are thrown into a mix match storyline. Like stated above if it was not the ending the film was of fallen flat for me.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Die! Die! My Darling (1965)

Die! Die! My Darling (1965)

Country:  USA

Director: Silvio Narizzano

Main Stars: Tallulah Bankhead, Stefanie Powers, Peter Vaughan, Yootha Joyce, Donald Sutherland

Storyline: A young woman goes to visit the mother of a past fiancé and becomes overwhelmed with her need.

Review (Spoils): Patricia Carroll (Stefanie Powers) arrives in London with her new fiancé but before she can move on she promised that she would finally meet her old fiancés Steven’s mother (Tallulah Bankhead) (he died and Patricia has moved on). She travels out of town to an old beaten down house to finally meet the woman. She is old, strong opinionated, strangely religious and obsessed with her son. As Patricia tries to survive the visit she learns that she is not leaving anytime soon and has to keep lying to survive her visit. We quickly learn that mother is not all that she portrays to be.

Die! Die! My Darling is something a little different for a Hammer Film. This film is based mostly in an old house and a broken down mind. We have the very gorgeous Stefanie Powers playing the lead victim and lady who is being held against her will and captured because a mother is insane over the loss of her son. As the truth of Patricia starts to come to light the more nuts the mother is driven. The characters and acting is extremely well done and the even the storylines between the main plot is an interesting twist. Such as the hired staff that work for the mother and what’s in it for them. The religious over tones keeps the film entertaining and there are even some funny scenes but at the same time the mood can be very dark and icky at the same time.  Some bright red blood, knives, gun shots, a green dead body, a couple prayers, lots of “poor Steven”, long legs and sexiness. This film has it all.

Rating: This title has been thrown around for long time from music from the Misfits right to the creepy and classic tunes of Alice Cooper and Steven. This movie is a classic! This is the perfect ex-mother in-law has lost her mind film. Tallulah Bankhead is one scary mom and very strong headed and when she finally snaps the fun begins. This is a classic horror film that everyone should checkout very entertaining.

8/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Cabin Fever (2016)

Cabin Fever (2016)

Country:  USA

Director: Travis Zariwny

Main Stars: Gage Golightly, Matthew Daddario, Samuel Davis, Nadine Crocker, Dustin Ingram, Randy Schulman, Louise Linton

Storyline: A group of young people go to a cabin in the woods and become sick from the water supply.

Review (Spoils): Remake time yet again in the world of horror. This time it is one of gems of the horror world Cabin Fever. The story does not stretch far from the original except the characters are a little more paper thin, the dialogue is vague and you actually can be annoyed at the beginning of the film with the characters. But it makes up some of this with the gore.

We have pretty much the same scenes as the original film (which gives a question why the remake) and the blood is not as good but there is plenty still. We have gory dogs, puking blood, the classic shave scene, unnecessary sex scenes (nice body Nadine Crocker), gun shots, rotting flesh, nasty bleeding, some stupid dropin characters that were not needed and the cute Gage Golightly.

Rating: This film is pretty much the same thing but not as funny and the characters are a bit more annoying. The film has the same amount of gore but the sex scenes are annoying and not needed and the characters that just dropin in the film make no sense. This hurts the film, if they would have just stuck with the blood and gore and Gage Golightly this film could have been rated higher.

7/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Krampus (2015)

Krampus (2015)

Country:  USA

Director: Michael Dougherty

Main Stars: Adam Scott, Toni Collette, David Koechner, Conchata Ferrell, Krista Stadler, Emjay Anthony, Stefania LaVie Owen, David Koechner

Storyline: A young boy wishes for things to be like old times for Christmas, Krampus grants his wish.

Review (Spoils): Young Max wants an old fashion Christmas and writes a note and it gets read out loud at the dysfunctional Christmas dinner. This prompts Krampus to appear that night and grant his wish. One by one the family Christmas gets ripped apart so that poor Max will be happy.

First off its spring why this film now? Well I have a young family I try my hardest to get this horror films in whenever I can. This film is like Gremlins meets Pumpkinhead with a nice touch of one liners and comedy. A nasty winter storm is background scenery of this film while we have hoofs, monster goblin elves, stabbing candy canes, creepy clowns, harpy angel dolls, killer teddy bears and the classic gingerbread men all on the hunt in the name of Krampus. Oh and of course the man himself in all his long tongue and massive horned glory. A nice chocking of Christmas lights and some interesting scenes as Krampus grabs the children one by one but do not expect a gore or blood drive in this one. the film had enough scenes that was action packed but was expecting a lot more of the horror.

Rating: This film was not as dark as I thought it was going to be. I was expecting more jumps and some red stuff but instead we had some character build, one liners, the beautiful Toni Collette and the best part of the film the killer gingerbread men. This could of used more blood….

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Vampyros Lesbos (1971)

Vampyros Lesbos (1971)

Country:  Germany

Director: Jesus Franco

Main Stars: Soledad Miranda, Dennis Price, Paul Muller, Ewa Stromberg

Storyline: A tale a young woman and her interest in the countess of seduction.

Review (Spoils): Linda (Ewa Stromberg ) has erotic dreams with about a strange woman so her doctor suggests her to start to explore this. She gets an estate run by Countess Nadine Oskudar (Soledad Miranda) which just so happens to be owned at one time by Count Dracula. The countess then attacks Linda and since that moment she starts to be treated for being insane. So the ex boyfriend of Linda and some vampire experts head out to put an end to the Countess.

This film is basically some weird dreams, some sexual lesbian erotic stuff and limited neck biting of red goop on blood. Nothing over the top gory or nothing shocking except maybe the display of art in the film. The plot line is pretty basic and nothing is really over the top entertaining. We have the beautiful Soledad Miranda parading around in stocking and dancing and biting necks.

Rating: This movie actually can be pretty boring and I even have the uncut version. I’m not sure why but I was expecting a lot more out of this film. I’m giving this a low rating as it is not recommending for everyone but it will get basic stars because we have Soledad Miranda roaming around in sexy stocking through the film and that is worth something.

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Turbo Kid (2015)

Turbo Kid (2015)

Country:  Canada

Director: Francois Simard, Anouk Whissell, Yoann-Karl Whissell

Main Stars: Munro Chambers, Laurence Leboeuf, Michael Ironside, Edwin Wright

Storyline: In the future we live in a wasteland lacking of water and full of destruction. A young man tries to change that.

Review (Spoils): This movie lies on the sci-fi horror line; picture Mad Max meets a Gwar show. A young man only known as the kid (Munro Chambers) is trying to survive on his own since the death of his father and mother. He collections junk to sell and survive and collects comic books of one known as Turbo Kid. When he crosses paths of his parent’s killer Zeus (Michael Ironside) and his gang of madmen he tries his hardest to be the hero he envies.

Like I stated above this movie is set in the future wasteland so do not get prepared for your standard horror film or scares. Instead prepare for a wild costume, great acting, fun storyline and buckets of spraying water filled blood. I mean buckets…………….. this film does not hold back on the gore or blood. The film has a solid cast from the young innocent man (Munro Chambers), the main bad guy Zeus Michael Ironside is awesome, the beautiful and delightful Apple (Laurence Leboeuf) and the mean mother fucker Skeletron (Edwin Wright). We have knives, guns, explosions, bodies being ripped in two, body explosions, hand being cut, arrows flying and of course saw blades that would give Blackie Lawless a run for his money.

Rating:  This movie had me from the beginning right till the end. This will become a cult classic if it isn’t already trust me. Over the top gore and a fun trip of a storyline.

8/10 Beers!

Yacker

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