Oculus (2013)

Oculus (2013)

Country:  USA

Director:  Mike Flanagan

Main Stars:  Karen Gillan, Brenton Thwaites, Katee Sackoff, Annalise Basso, Garrett Ryan

Storyline:  Family is torn apart by an evil haunting that follows an ancient mirror.

Review (Spoils): The Russell family move into a new home and everything is great for the family of four.  The husband is a workaholic and locks himself in his ground floor office as his wife drinks to herself. The young kids pay and try and to survive as the family is slowly falling apart. However, it is a family affair that is happening or is there an evil woman ghost in the ancient mirror located in his office.  The movie than moves to the future when the young kids are older and trying figure out if the mirror really is the issue or was it all in their minds.

As silly, it sounds above its not. The film plays back and forth on the current children after the fact of what happen and flashes from the past. The mirror becomes a focal point but at the same time, maybe it all really did not happen as they perceived or remembered.  Lots of ghostly images and arguments on trying to solve the past with the siblings. The movie has some nice red blood, glowing eyes, some jump parts, nasty fingernails, swinging pikes and a really make you cringe lightbulb scene.  Oh and really old black mirror that is possessed.

Rating:  One way to explain this film is Butterfly Effect meets Amityville Horror. The acting in this film for the whole cast is really well done and I have to admit this film hooked me in once the siblings were arguing about what really happened.  Something also about Karen Gillan is attractive and held my attention and her connection with her brother Brenton Thwaites was awesome. I do recommend this film and I was not disappointed by it.

7/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Cult of Chucky (2017)

Cult of Chucky (2017)

Country: USA

Director:  Don Mancini

Main Stars:  Allison Dawn Doiron, Alex Vincent, Brad Dourif, Fiona Dourif, Michael Therriault, Jennifer Tilly

Storyline:  Nica is placed in a hospital where past Chucky victims rest. With the help of Tiffany, Chuck comes to the hospital to pay some respect.

Review (Spoils): Nica (Fiona Dourif) is accused of murdering her family, as nobody believes her that the doll did the killing. The patients in the hospital she is located are all past victims (including Andy from the first films) and they are believed to be illusions of the mind.  While this is going on the staff at the hospital are actually starting a cult dedicated to the devilish doll but Tiffany has other plans to help Chucky out.

This film starts almost right after the last one but it does start a bit confusing.  Nica’s part make’s sense but dragging Andy (Alex Vincent) in from the beginning makes the film confusing. That is a fault of the film it is kind of jammed together without real thought. The gore and blood is there but limited.  Do not get me wrong it was nice to re-introduce Andy but it was done wrong and should have been brought in near the end as a surprise. Brad Dourif, Fiona Dourif and Jennifer Tilly did a great job returning as their characters but the story itself was all over the place. The Cult part was misleading and was not really explained.

We have knives, drills, burnt dolls, many jumbled dream sequences, some blood and a nasty head smash. Other than that just a lot of dialogue and character introduction without any real detail.

 Rating:  Personally had hope for this series as the last film was not bad and I enjoy the Nica character. However, this story is fucked and to be honest the whole Tiffany (Jennifer Tilly )character seems fake in this film but I did enjoy the twist ending. Holding still hope that this series will get back to the horror and drop the comedy.

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

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House of the Dead 2 (2005)

House of the Dead 2 (2005)

Country:  USA

Director:  Michael Hurst

Main Stars:  Emmanuelle Vaugier, Ed Quinn, Sticky Fingaz, Victoria Pratt, Sid Haig

Storyline:  A virus spreads along a university and some scientists and SWAT team invade to stop the zombie like virus.

Review (Spoils): The film starts with some typical TA teenage craziness as for some reason a virus from school is spreading and creating zombies. We learn that a lunatic Professor Curien (Sid Haig) has a main zombie that he trying to bring back to life from the dead. Zombies bite and the virus spreads across the campus until the beautiful Emmanuelle Vaugier comes to the case.

Many zombies, lots of biting and who knew that all SWAT Teams are fine getting changed together no matter what sex and feel very conformable with sexual harassment. There is some blood and the special effects are not bad for a TV movie but the storyline is boring as Hell. The acting is okay, the character Ed Quinn played annoyed me.  However, Emmanuelle Vaugier was hot and that held the movie together enough for me to watch it through.

Rating:  This film was not great but it had Emmanuelle Vaugier and did not have the stupid video graphics like the first film. In addition, as a bonus we have the classic Sid Haig for the first part of the film and another babe by the name of Victoria Pratt. Better than the first film with all that alone.

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Wishmaster 3 (2001)

Wishmaster 3 (2001)

Country:  USA

Director:  Chris Angel

Main Stars:  Jason Connery, A.J Cook, Tobias Mehler, Lousiette Geiss, Daniella Evangelista, Emmanuelle Vaugier, John Novak

Storyline:  The Djinn is back and causes terror at a University.

Review (Spoils): Student working on a project on ancient mythology unleash the djinn (John Novak) again upon the University. He is granting wishes to open the gates of Hell yet again.  This time the evil lord is going against the lovely Diana (A.J Cook) who by accident unleashed him and now trying to trick her into her three wishes. When he does not get his way, he tries to use his charm for sexual advances and death to all upon the campus.

This film for the series starts to lose its fun and goes downhill. Number one the djinn in this one is not even scary and the human guise of Jason Connery is horror upon itself. We have some fun lovely and attractive women, which we all know Jason Connery does not have a hope in hell with in real life.  Cheesy electric special effects, laser swords, some blood, bad one liners makes this film fall from the once great Wishmaster series. The seduction and overlays in this film are bad and the exploding heart brings the wishes to the lamest yet. In addition, the St. Michael story add in please leave this at the door.

Rating:  I personally enjoyed the first two films of this series not sure, if it was because Andrew Divoff is gone as the main Djinn or this film was just stupid and poorly written. This movie was lacking on budget and tried to survive by through babes in it. We should have stuck with just the first two.

2/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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House of the Dead (2003)

House of the Dead (2003)

Country:  USA

Director:  Uwe Boll

Main Stars:  Jonathan Cherry, Tyron Leitso, Clint Howard, Ona Grauer, Ellie Cornell, Enuka Okuma, Kira Clavell, Sonya Salomaa

Storyline:  College students go to an island for a rave and are overtaken by zombies

Review (Spoils): A group of stupid college students (even though they are old enough to be out of school) head to an island so that they can attend a rave and film it. When they get there, it does not take long to learn that the island is over taken by fast moving flesh eating zombies. As the film movies along with some very bad acting and out of this world horrible video game film pieces we learn that it is all being powered by a past zombie lord and his house of the dead.

We have some babes, some cleavage, the worse idea of placing video game footage in a film, some shitty storyline, dumb kissing scene, some ok looking zombies, slow motion scenes that you are wondering why you would do this. This film could possibly be on the list of worse of all horror time.

Rating:  Ever watch a film and go man I wonder if this is good. Then while watching it you go to yourself oh no it is the rotten piece of shit film that I have been ignoring for decades? Well that is what happened to me on this one. Why in gods name would some think making a film with shitting video scenes was a great idea? Total on crack and you should not be allowed to film again crap! If it were not for Ona Grauer cleavage throughout the film, this film would be a bomb and not worth a pint.

1/10 Beers! (thanks for the cleavage Ona Grauer)

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Scream Blacula Scream (1973)

Scream Blacula Scream (1973)

Country:  USA

Director:  Bob Kelljan

Main Stars:  William Marshall, Don Mitchell, Pam Grier, Lisa Fortier

Storyline:  A voodoo cult has some internal issues so they resurrect Blacula to fix them.

Review (Spoils): Blacula (William Marshall) has returned as an internal disagreement happens in a voodoo cult on who should be the new leader after the elderly woman dies (yes this is the plot).  One man is so fit in rage of not being chosen he digs up the bones of Blacula and brings him back to make them pay. Of course, from the get go Blacula bites him and makes him one of his spawn. During which Blacula works his way through the female members of the cult until he has a large grouping of spawns. However yet again Blacula falls in love with one member (Lisa Fortier) and this weakness ends his life again.

Much like the first film of the series, we have bright red blood marks, some smashed windows, some seductive neck biting, some jive talking, pimps, bad Blacula make-up, some cool vampire spawn make-up and a horrible storyline.  At least this round Blacula has dropped the growling noises but some of the story if just whacked. A prime example of this is when they discuss the possibility of a vampire existing, while Blacula sits in the room like a normal man but in his black and red cape. (Can’t make this shit up)

Rating:  I personally believe this is the last movie of this series and I can see why. This was a bad plot and the film is very laughable. The movie is pretty much the same as the first one except you have some more voodoo involved. The film is not horrible but I was expecting more in this sequel than what I saw. Blacula was okay but I was much more interested in his vampire spawn as the make up on some of the characters was good for its time. This film is still as cult classic as the series holds its own.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Zombeavers (2014)

Zombeavers (2014)

Country:  USA

Director:  Jordan Rubin

Main Stars:  Rachel Melvin, Courtney Palm, Lexi Atkins, Hutch Dano, Jake Weary, Peter Gilroy

Storyline:  A group of young teenagers go to the woods to stay and are attacked by zombie beavers.

Review (Spoils): Well nothing says Christmas like Zombeavers! Actually, they have nothing in common, so let’s begin. We have a group of horny young girls that travel to the woods to get away from men and the internet. They just happened to be followed by their horny boyfriends and they all join in the woods. While that happened we have a spill into the river in which pollutes the water and creates zombie beavers. Everyone, including the small dog must run for his or her lives!

Occasionally I like to unplug my serious thoughts and unwind with straight retardedness and this is a great example of it. We young hot and horny girls that show their breasts (one at least anyways, thank you Courtney Palm,), stupid males that think only with their penis, a small dog that is thrown to the wolves (or beavers in this case), lots of blood, lots of furry killer beavers that can jump, axes, knives, some whacky beaver people zombies, funny tree chomping and a weekend without any dope! This film has it all but the dope and a serious storyline.

Rating:  If you have an hour or so to kill, this film is a good start. The film was nice cross of Cabin Fever meets Black Sheep. (Not the Chris Farley one) We have some lovely women and some crazy puppets and make up. The beavers make the film by far, as their glowing eyes are the best.  In addition, I love the scene where it drags for far too long with Lexi Atkins on the island in the kitchen battle a beaver in a bikini. (Small exploitation). This film is not be taken serious and it was an okay ride.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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