Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things (1973)

Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things (1973)

Country:  USA

Director:  Bob Clark

Main Stars:  Alan Ormsby, Valerie Mamches, Jeff Gillen, Anya Ormsby, Jane Daly, Paul Cronin

Storyline:  Actors are lead to a graveyard on a remote island to perform a necromantic ritual for a movie but what they do is awake the dead.










Review (Spoils):  Alan (Alan Ormsby) is an annoying director who thinks he is all that and talks down on all his actors and actresses.  He threatens them that this is going to the career break that they have always wanted and that they will be nobodies if they do not play along with his sick plan. His plan..? Well it involves them breaking into an old cabin near a graveyard and do a ritual in a stupid wizard robe and awake the dead.  They did up a body known to them as Orville and Alan thinks its fun playing with the body and making fun of it (such as a wedding and making jests about it).  Through the annoying sillness the dead from the graveyard do awaken and they burst into the cabin and start eating and killing everyone.

Alan Ormsby is annoying and you just want to punch him the face from the get go. Plus the pants and shirt are just too much to handle. He ruined the actual film. The three stars of this film are the leading ladies Val (Valerie Mamches) with her funny and snarky jests to Alan, the starry eyed Anya (Anya Ormsby) with her flakey hippy attitude and last but not least Terry (Jane Daly) who plays the leading female star of their film.  For the gore and scariness do not expect much as it is a low budget film and it can be lacking in the red stuff but the chezziness works.

Rating:  Not the greatest zombie film by far and to be honest the main actor Alan Ormsby ruins the whole damn thing. True horror fans should watch this at least once just to see how awful this guy really is as the rest of the cast was not bad for a B movie. This should be called “Alan Ormsby Shouldn’t do Movies”.




4/10 Beers!



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