The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Country:  USA

Director:  Marcus Nispel

Stars: Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Andrew Bryniarski, Erica Leerhsen, R.Lee Ermey, Terrence Evans, Heather Kafka, Kathy Lamkin

Storyline: Five friends find themselves stalked by a deformed chainsaw wielding maniac and a inbreed family.

MV5BMjA4OTc0NDEzNF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzI1MzAwMQ@@__V1_SY317_CR2,0,214,317_Review: Welcome to Texas where hitchhikers are horny or just nuts and carry guns in their crotch!

In this remake of the classic from the 1970’s we have a more modern group of dope smoking teens heading to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert . They come across a couple hitchhikers (see above) and before they know it one of them blows off her head and off they become targets for a redneck family. This film tries to stay true to the original with Leatherface (Andrew Bryniarski) wielding his mighty chainsaw and the family tormenting the teens. We have some great scenes of gore such as, heads blown off, brains, body parts, chainsaw murders, cars running over people and lots of blood. The film tries to pay ode to the original and the second film with such scenes of the classic meat hook and the skinning and wear one victims face as a mask.

But to me it tried too hard. It tried to be over the top which the original never really had to do. It relied on gore, blood and guts. The family itself is over populated to the point you almost cannot keep track of them all. The first film kept it simple with a small group this one is like a Rob Zombie film it is all over the place with characters and plot holes.

Rating: First rule of horror don’t fuck with a classic. Sure this remake is semi-decent but if it is not broken do not re-invent the wheel.  The whole cannibal connection is missing from this film. But we do have Jessica Biel in her hotness running around in soaking white top through most of the film. So that counts for something.


6/10 Beers!



Filed under Cannibal

2 responses to “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

  1. I count 7 beers. I’d give it a 7 or 8 anyway. They shoulda just retitled it TCM the NEW generation. Lol

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