Five Across the Eyes (2006)

Five Across the Eyes (2006)

Country:  USA

Director:  Greg Swinson, Ryan Thiessen

Main Stars: Sandra Paduch, Danielle Lilley, Mia Yi, Angela Brunda, Jennifer Barentt, Veronica Garcia

Storyline:  A van of girl accidently run into a SUV and the owner of the vehicle hunt them down.

MV5BMTQ5ODk3NTM2Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMDU4NzA1MQ@@__V1_SY317_CR0,0,214,317_AL_Review (Spoils):  Well welcome to the plot of the same old story that we have seen before. Except this time it is a van of young girls that get lost trying to take a shortcut (duh!) and stop at a lonely store in the middle of nowhere and she slams into a SUV and takes off.  No huge surprise on plot here except a number of young girls teenage talking and screaming so much that you have no fucking idea on what the main dialogue is.

We have lots of blood and gore for no real reason and this film has no idea what it wants to be. Does it want to be Jeepers Creepers or does it want to Blair Witch the writer has no clue! We have a mad woman chasing down the young girls over the banged vehicle and tortures and kills one by one. The screwdriver seems to the most classic and unique of weapon of choice in this film. We either have a lot of driving, screaming, blood, terrible acting and paper thin characters which you nor care about.

Rating:  If your very bored and want to just watch some young girls have stupid conversations and make stupid decisions while the torture and gore is being delivered to you for no reason but to shock  than throw this on this.  But other than that don’t bother as there is a hell of a lot better out there. Don’t waste your time go watch some porn (and yes the acting is better in porn).

pint pint

2/10 Beers!



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