Category Archives: Haunting

IT (2017)

IT (2017)

Country: USA

Director:  Andy Muschietti

Main Stars:  Bill Skarsgard, Jaeden Martell, Finn Wolfhard, Beverly Marsh, Ben Denbrough, Ben Hanscom, Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff, Jackson Robert Scott

Storyline:  Summer of 1989, a bunch of nerdy kids go on the hunt of one of their own younger brothers goes missing. They start to unveil a haunting Clown that starts to threaten them all.

Review (Spoils): The film takes place in the low run-down town called Derry everyone has issues of some sort. Everything from over mothering to child molestation and abuse (to me this seems a bit too much but anyways). Little Georgie (Jackson Robert Scott) loses his paper boat as it floats into the sewer and as he goes after it, he comes across the haunting clown known as Pennywise (Bill Skarsgard). As the clown taunts him he attacks him and drags into the sewers. Not long after his old brother Jaeden (Ben Denbrough) gets his fellow nerds to go hunting for his lost brother. Yes, this is yet another horror remake.

We have a large cast of kids who are getting bullied or beat one way or another. This a huge chunk of the film as they build the characters into their Stand by Me cast. The special effects are done very well, and you can tell they threw a shit ton of money into IT. Bill Skarsgard was outstanding as he played the Joker like Clown that becomes whatever you fear. They really focused on him and built it up as villain. There is enough here to make you glued to the screen and pace goes well even if it is a very long part one of the film.

Lots of clown action, low income kids, some crappy CGI (thin woman), lots of large mouths with teeth, hormones of young boys, child abuse, molestation, floating kids, glowing eyes, red balloons, a bloody bathroom with Ring like hair attack, nasty arm bit, broken arms, some gashes and lots of Pennywise injuries.

Rating:  Normally I hate remakes more than anything but to be honest this film was better then the original. Do I feel the film was over hyped and the younger generation are worshiping this film like it the greatest thing ever when it was ok? Yes! Bill Skarsgard was great yes, he was, and he built the villain Pennywise right up and made the film but to be honest the film screams Stand by Me. I liked the film and it was pretty good as the special effects were not all cheesy but it does not stand with the other classics of the 70s and early 80s that so many people rant it about. The movie was just too damn long for what it was trying to tell and could of all been wrapped in one film instead of cashing out. I did enjoy the film… its a remake so it makes it hard.

7/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Blair Witch (2016)

Blair Witch (2016)

Country:  USA

Director:  Adam Wingard

Main Stars:  James Allen McCune, Callie Hernandez, Corbin Reid, Valorie Curry, Wes Robinson, Brandon Scott

Storyline:  Again, a videotape has been found with and some young people are missing that were wandering in the deep forest that is haunted.

Review (Spoils): In the Black Hills Forest tales of a haunting has been legendary. James (James Allen McCune) wants to finally put to rest his sister Heathers disappearance on the woods. A team of young people being led by James kind of head into the woods during the day to find out if the stories are true about what exists in the woods. As they travel deeper and get lost in the maze and night starts to fall, they all start to lose their sanity.

Once again, a tape has been found which bring a young back on a hunt for his missing sister from 20 years ago. The storyline of this one has not changed much from the original, but it is okay to burn 1.5 hours. Sure, the young people are super annoying and do stupid things and think they are all super cool and tough but really the scares are the same as before.

We have a dark forest, shaky camera action that you have no idea what the fuck is going on, people staring in the corner of the room (but this is explained so that was nice), lots of yelling, cool witch tokens hanging on trees, mud and some flashing lights. Nothing out of the ordinary with this film at all.

Rating: Not sure why this film was made and the reasoning it needed to be told but it was nice connection to the first one, but it did not stray from it at all.  The characters were super annoying except for Callie Hernandez as she is hot. The scares were limited and looking back maybe this could be watched again as a drinking game when someone name is called. Or if there is a group of you each choose a name and drink too it.

5/ 10 Beers!

Yacker

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Malevolent (2018)

Malevolent (2018)

Country:  UK

Director:  Olaf de Fleur Joahnneson

Main Stars:  Florence Pugh, Ben Lloyd- Hughes, Celia Imrie, Georgina Bevan, Nicola Grier

Storyline:  A young group are scamming people in fake hauntings until they come across the real deal.

Review (Spoils): Brother and sister Jackson and Angela (Florence Pugh) run a scamming like fake setup for hauntings and make a good profit doing. The two of them and their group get hired to check out an old foster home and with Angela’s power they come across the haunting past. Young girls were tortured here, and their mouths stitched shut by the sadistic owner.

If the above plot of a group of people working to scam people in haunting sounds familiar, then you will be like me and give a groan. The originality of this film was lost from the first 10min and I was losing interest which really did hurt this film. The acting was ok but sometimes I do have a hard time with Florence Pugh as she comes across a non-emotional actress which can be dry and over done after a few films.

The film gives is the typical haunting of little girl’s flashbacks, so expect some girls just appearing. The film really does not get into the true horror until about the last 15min when the truth all starts to unravel, and we get to the villains and the heroes. But even then, some of the gore is taken off screen or out of the picture. This is too bad because the scene with the hack saw could have been great. To me Celia Imrie was the highlight of the film.

Rating:  Nothing really new with this film as the topic has been so overdone. There are way better ghost tales out there to check out. This film is forgettable.

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Dementia 13 (2017)

Dementia 13 (2017)

Country:  USA

Director:  Richard LeMay

Main Stars:  Julia Campanelli, Channing Pickett, Steve Polites, Marianne Noscheze, Ana Isabelle

Storyline:  A rich family starts to see deaths as they wonder what has happened to one of the sons while honoring the death of the youngest daughter.

Review (Spoils): The Haloran’s family is messed up as they have a very rich upbringing and act like spoiled brats to honor their mother Gloria. As one son disappears when he marries a woman that the family disapproves of things start to get a little bloody as someone is swinging an axe.

Not really sure where to start with this mess, oh ya I hate remakes and the original is a goddamn classic! The film does not try to stay true to the classic and it’s a mess from the being. The acting is lacking and the only going for it is the odd blood scene and the hotness of Ana Isabelle which they fucking killed early in the film! The film is so unrealistic on the way people act and walk around that it was hard to focus on the story. Not too much the haunting background thrown into the mix…. Disaster!

The film gives is a nasty face scratch, dripping and splashes of blood, shitty ghosts, axe swings and a nice axe to the chest (nice chest too by the way). Other than that, just some back and forth and shitty ending.

Rating:  Fuck Richard LeMay for even thinking this was a good idea. Also, should have kept Ana Isabelle till the end. Grab a case of beer and go find the original!

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Filed under Haunting, Slasher

The Lodgers (2017)

The Lodgers (2017)

Country:  Ireland

Director:  Brian O’Malley

Main Stars:  Charlotte Vega, Bill Milner, Eugene Simon

Storyline:  Twins are cursed to never leave the house as they have a sinister evil living in their house.

Review (Spoils): Rachel (Charlotte Vega) and Edward (Bill Milner) are trapped in a run-down old house and there is a unexplained evil that lives at night to make sure. There are three rules for the twins, must be in bed for the strike of midnight, don’t let people in and if one breaks the rule they both pay. As one falls in love it all goes weird and both twin struggle with the evil called the Lodgers.

We have a nice little Irish ghost like tale that struggles with a interesting story even though it could of worked. The backdrop is beautiful, but the story got boring and dragged. There is nothing for scares here really, but it does have some eerie to it. The film dips a bit into the incest world which is not a surprise as you can feel it in the beginning so that was not even a surprised. The part that I struggled with was the Lodgers themselves. The evil just did not feel it and the back story was blotchy. Which is too bad because the tale was not bad, but it was too boring to hold my attention.

Rating:  I just get why people enjoy this film. Yes, it was done well and it is a cute tale but for a horror film it just was not enough to keep me going and wanting more. We lack, and scares and we have water and floating bodies sorry but just not enough for beers.

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Axe Murders of Villisca (2016)

The Axe Murders of Villisca (2016)

Country:  USA

Director:  Tony E. Valenzuela

Main Stars:  Robert Adamson, Jarett Sleeper, Alex Frnka, Sean Whalen

Storyline:  Three losers decide to break into an older house to find out if it is really haunted from the past axe murders.

Review (Spoils): We have two boys who are supposed to be teenagers who are losers that you do not care about. We have a young hot kind of goth babe who got drunk and slept with someone and is now trapped in with the above two losers. And we have a mixed match back story with someone who killed people with an axe a long time ago and we still have not figured out why (even after the film)

Dear god not sure where it begin with this mess. The story is all over the place and the reason for the three-young people to break into the house is really pointless and dumb. The kids do not even look like teenagers and so what you slept with someone. Are people really that shallow anymore especially if you are 30? This film when it comes to storyline from the start was a fucking disaster! Not to mention the past story which I am still fucking lost. Who wrote and casted this?

Ok so now the time for some of the good points, Sean Whalen rocks! He is like a horror legend in my books and when I feel him in a film I smile. Hello, People Under the Stairs! Too bad his part was little and underrated in this film.  The only other highlight of this film was Alex Frnka. Never heard of her but man she is hot and should be in more horror films. Love the look and the character she played in this film even though she was way to old to play the part for that story line. But this film gets some pints for the eye candy.  We some axes and some blood and it had some potential within the first 5min.

 

Rating:  Don’t waste your time. Even if you have spare time and are staring at Netflix go somewhere else. Unless you want to see Alex Frnka hotness some more that is about all this film deliveries besides confusion and questions of why!

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)

Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)

Country:  USA

Director:  Mike Flanagan

Main Stars:  Elizabeth Reaser, Lulu Wilson, Annalise Basso, Henry Thomas

Storyline:  A young girl gets possessed as her mother runs a front on seances.

Review (Spoils): The story starts as young mother Alice (Elizabeth Reaser) is running a scam with her daughters making fake seances. As we learn her husband has been killed and she is trying to make ends meet. Trouble brews with the young girls as she the teenage one, Lina (Annalise Basso) brings home a Ouija board and Alice starts to play with it. As she plays with it the young daughter Doris (Lulu Wilson) becomes the channel between the family the father. Or is it the father?

When the film started, and I saw Elizabeth Reaser my first reaction was dear god here we go. My personal experience with Netflix ‘s Haunting of Hill House ruined my aspect of those actors. Luckily this film redeemed her for me. (God I hated that series…. Its ended like shit…anyways).

 

There are few things that I liked about the film. First can not go wrong with the late 60s era, love the women outfits and style. The family connection was well written and the back drop worked. The CGI was cheap, but it was not overly done and the effects on Doris was actual not bad, with the wide mouth and eyes.  The possible love interest story line was not needed and could have been dropped but the film kept me interested as it has a nice haunting backdrop.  Elizabeth Reaser did a really good job playing someone you should not like but at the same time you felt for her. She was sexy but at the same time playing the concerned mother who went too far. But yes the corny black men was a bit much as they haunted from the other side.

Rating:  This was a decent horror film for not being well known. I usually get bored of haunting stuff as after a while they become a fad and the same. Elizabeth Reaser did a great job along with the fellow young actresses. I also enjoyed Henry Thomas as the Father. Don’t expect gore or a lot of blood but something along the lines of the other haunting tales of this era. Hats off to Elizabeth Reaser from redeeming herself in my mind from that other horrible series.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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