Blair Witch (2016)
Director: Adam Wingard
Main Stars: James Allen McCune, Callie Hernandez, Corbin Reid, Valorie Curry, Wes Robinson, Brandon Scott
Storyline: Again, a videotape has been found with and some young people are missing that were wandering in the deep forest that is haunted.
Review (Spoils): In the Black Hills Forest tales of a haunting has been legendary. James (James Allen McCune) wants to finally put to rest his sister Heathers disappearance on the woods. A team of young people being led by James kind of head into the woods during the day to find out if the stories are true about what exists in the woods. As they travel deeper and get lost in the maze and night starts to fall, they all start to lose their sanity.
Once again, a tape has been found which bring a young back on a hunt for his missing sister from 20 years ago. The storyline of this one has not changed much from the original, but it is okay to burn 1.5 hours. Sure, the young people are super annoying and do stupid things and think they are all super cool and tough but really the scares are the same as before.
We have a dark forest, shaky camera action that you have no idea what the fuck is going on, people staring in the corner of the room (but this is explained so that was nice), lots of yelling, cool witch tokens hanging on trees, mud and some flashing lights. Nothing out of the ordinary with this film at all.
Rating: Not sure why this film was made and the reasoning it needed to be told but it was nice connection to the first one, but it did not stray from it at all. The characters were super annoying except for Callie Hernandez as she is hot. The scares were limited and looking back maybe this could be watched again as a drinking game when someone name is called. Or if there is a group of you each choose a name and drink too it.
5/ 10 Beers!
Director: Olaf de Fleur Joahnneson
Main Stars: Florence Pugh, Ben Lloyd- Hughes, Celia Imrie, Georgina Bevan, Nicola Grier
Storyline: A young group are scamming people in fake hauntings until they come across the real deal.
Review (Spoils): Brother and sister Jackson and Angela (Florence Pugh) run a scamming like fake setup for hauntings and make a good profit doing. The two of them and their group get hired to check out an old foster home and with Angela’s power they come across the haunting past. Young girls were tortured here, and their mouths stitched shut by the sadistic owner.
If the above plot of a group of people working to scam people in haunting sounds familiar, then you will be like me and give a groan. The originality of this film was lost from the first 10min and I was losing interest which really did hurt this film. The acting was ok but sometimes I do have a hard time with Florence Pugh as she comes across a non-emotional actress which can be dry and over done after a few films.
The film gives is the typical haunting of little girl’s flashbacks, so expect some girls just appearing. The film really does not get into the true horror until about the last 15min when the truth all starts to unravel, and we get to the villains and the heroes. But even then, some of the gore is taken off screen or out of the picture. This is too bad because the scene with the hack saw could have been great. To me Celia Imrie was the highlight of the film.
Rating: Nothing really new with this film as the topic has been so overdone. There are way better ghost tales out there to check out. This film is forgettable.
Dementia 13 (2017)
Director: Richard LeMay
Main Stars: Julia Campanelli, Channing Pickett, Steve Polites, Marianne Noscheze, Ana Isabelle
Storyline: A rich family starts to see deaths as they wonder what has happened to one of the sons while honoring the death of the youngest daughter.
Review (Spoils): The Haloran’s family is messed up as they have a very rich upbringing and act like spoiled brats to honor their mother Gloria. As one son disappears when he marries a woman that the family disapproves of things start to get a little bloody as someone is swinging an axe.
Not really sure where to start with this mess, oh ya I hate remakes and the original is a goddamn classic! The film does not try to stay true to the classic and it’s a mess from the being. The acting is lacking and the only going for it is the odd blood scene and the hotness of Ana Isabelle which they fucking killed early in the film! The film is so unrealistic on the way people act and walk around that it was hard to focus on the story. Not too much the haunting background thrown into the mix…. Disaster!
The film gives is a nasty face scratch, dripping and splashes of blood, shitty ghosts, axe swings and a nice axe to the chest (nice chest too by the way). Other than that, just some back and forth and shitty ending.
Rating: Fuck Richard LeMay for even thinking this was a good idea. Also, should have kept Ana Isabelle till the end. Grab a case of beer and go find the original!
The Lodgers (2017)
Director: Brian O’Malley
Main Stars: Charlotte Vega, Bill Milner, Eugene Simon
Storyline: Twins are cursed to never leave the house as they have a sinister evil living in their house.
Review (Spoils): Rachel (Charlotte Vega) and Edward (Bill Milner) are trapped in a run-down old house and there is a unexplained evil that lives at night to make sure. There are three rules for the twins, must be in bed for the strike of midnight, don’t let people in and if one breaks the rule they both pay. As one falls in love it all goes weird and both twin struggle with the evil called the Lodgers.
We have a nice little Irish ghost like tale that struggles with a interesting story even though it could of worked. The backdrop is beautiful, but the story got boring and dragged. There is nothing for scares here really, but it does have some eerie to it. The film dips a bit into the incest world which is not a surprise as you can feel it in the beginning so that was not even a surprised. The part that I struggled with was the Lodgers themselves. The evil just did not feel it and the back story was blotchy. Which is too bad because the tale was not bad, but it was too boring to hold my attention.
Rating: I just get why people enjoy this film. Yes, it was done well and it is a cute tale but for a horror film it just was not enough to keep me going and wanting more. We lack, and scares and we have water and floating bodies sorry but just not enough for beers.
The Axe Murders of Villisca (2016)
Director: Tony E. Valenzuela
Main Stars: Robert Adamson, Jarett Sleeper, Alex Frnka, Sean Whalen
Storyline: Three losers decide to break into an older house to find out if it is really haunted from the past axe murders.
Review (Spoils): We have two boys who are supposed to be teenagers who are losers that you do not care about. We have a young hot kind of goth babe who got drunk and slept with someone and is now trapped in with the above two losers. And we have a mixed match back story with someone who killed people with an axe a long time ago and we still have not figured out why (even after the film)
Dear god not sure where it begin with this mess. The story is all over the place and the reason for the three-young people to break into the house is really pointless and dumb. The kids do not even look like teenagers and so what you slept with someone. Are people really that shallow anymore especially if you are 30? This film when it comes to storyline from the start was a fucking disaster! Not to mention the past story which I am still fucking lost. Who wrote and casted this?
Ok so now the time for some of the good points, Sean Whalen rocks! He is like a horror legend in my books and when I feel him in a film I smile. Hello, People Under the Stairs! Too bad his part was little and underrated in this film. The only other highlight of this film was Alex Frnka. Never heard of her but man she is hot and should be in more horror films. Love the look and the character she played in this film even though she was way to old to play the part for that story line. But this film gets some pints for the eye candy. We some axes and some blood and it had some potential within the first 5min.
Rating: Don’t waste your time. Even if you have spare time and are staring at Netflix go somewhere else. Unless you want to see Alex Frnka hotness some more that is about all this film deliveries besides confusion and questions of why!
Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)
Director: Mike Flanagan
Main Stars: Elizabeth Reaser, Lulu Wilson, Annalise Basso, Henry Thomas
Storyline: A young girl gets possessed as her mother runs a front on seances.
Review (Spoils): The story starts as young mother Alice (Elizabeth Reaser) is running a scam with her daughters making fake seances. As we learn her husband has been killed and she is trying to make ends meet. Trouble brews with the young girls as she the teenage one, Lina (Annalise Basso) brings home a Ouija board and Alice starts to play with it. As she plays with it the young daughter Doris (Lulu Wilson) becomes the channel between the family the father. Or is it the father?
When the film started, and I saw Elizabeth Reaser my first reaction was dear god here we go. My personal experience with Netflix ‘s Haunting of Hill House ruined my aspect of those actors. Luckily this film redeemed her for me. (God I hated that series…. Its ended like shit…anyways).
There are few things that I liked about the film. First can not go wrong with the late 60s era, love the women outfits and style. The family connection was well written and the back drop worked. The CGI was cheap, but it was not overly done and the effects on Doris was actual not bad, with the wide mouth and eyes. The possible love interest story line was not needed and could have been dropped but the film kept me interested as it has a nice haunting backdrop. Elizabeth Reaser did a really good job playing someone you should not like but at the same time you felt for her. She was sexy but at the same time playing the concerned mother who went too far. But yes the corny black men was a bit much as they haunted from the other side.
Rating: This was a decent horror film for not being well known. I usually get bored of haunting stuff as after a while they become a fad and the same. Elizabeth Reaser did a great job along with the fellow young actresses. I also enjoyed Henry Thomas as the Father. Don’t expect gore or a lot of blood but something along the lines of the other haunting tales of this era. Hats off to Elizabeth Reaser from redeeming herself in my mind from that other horrible series.
Director: Andy Muschietti
Main Stars: Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Megan Charpentier, Isabel Nelisse
Storyline: A uncle inherits two young girls that have been left in the woods after the death of their father.
Review (Spoils): Annabel (Jessica Chastain) is young wanna be rocker who lives with Jeff (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau). When Jeff gets the two young girls Victoria and Lilly (Megan Charpentier, Isabel Nelisse )after they have been found in the woods years after the death of their father. Annebel was not ready to be child caregiver and better yet when Jeff gets injured and needs medical care she is really alone. But is she alone, the young girls start to talk to a being known as Mama.
The film starts off kind of slow with a car accident and the young girls fending for themselves after the father is missing. The girls a little primal and need caring but they prefer the being known as Mama. Who is Mama and where is Mama is another story.
Not much gore and blood in this film. It goes more on the storyline and haunting strangeness of the girls. The film focuses almost too much on Annabel and her childish attitude then actually Mama. But the real problem of this film is the fucking CGI the last 20min of the film is very painful! The film was not bad and then it fell apart with cheezy CGI yet again.
Rating: Another victim of CGI in the Horror world. Too bad as the film had something going for it….