Category Archives: Haunting

Dementia 13 (2017)

Dementia 13 (2017)

Country:  USA

Director:  Richard LeMay

Main Stars:  Julia Campanelli, Channing Pickett, Steve Polites, Marianne Noscheze, Ana Isabelle

Storyline:  A rich family starts to see deaths as they wonder what has happened to one of the sons while honoring the death of the youngest daughter.

Review (Spoils): The Haloran’s family is messed up as they have a very rich upbringing and act like spoiled brats to honor their mother Gloria. As one son disappears when he marries a woman that the family disapproves of things start to get a little bloody as someone is swinging an axe.

Not really sure where to start with this mess, oh ya I hate remakes and the original is a goddamn classic! The film does not try to stay true to the classic and it’s a mess from the being. The acting is lacking and the only going for it is the odd blood scene and the hotness of Ana Isabelle which they fucking killed early in the film! The film is so unrealistic on the way people act and walk around that it was hard to focus on the story. Not too much the haunting background thrown into the mix…. Disaster!

The film gives is a nasty face scratch, dripping and splashes of blood, shitty ghosts, axe swings and a nice axe to the chest (nice chest too by the way). Other than that, just some back and forth and shitty ending.

Rating:  Fuck Richard LeMay for even thinking this was a good idea. Also, should have kept Ana Isabelle till the end. Grab a case of beer and go find the original!

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Lodgers (2017)

The Lodgers (2017)

Country:  Ireland

Director:  Brian O’Malley

Main Stars:  Charlotte Vega, Bill Milner, Eugene Simon

Storyline:  Twins are cursed to never leave the house as they have a sinister evil living in their house.

Review (Spoils): Rachel (Charlotte Vega) and Edward (Bill Milner) are trapped in a run-down old house and there is a unexplained evil that lives at night to make sure. There are three rules for the twins, must be in bed for the strike of midnight, don’t let people in and if one breaks the rule they both pay. As one falls in love it all goes weird and both twin struggle with the evil called the Lodgers.

We have a nice little Irish ghost like tale that struggles with a interesting story even though it could of worked. The backdrop is beautiful, but the story got boring and dragged. There is nothing for scares here really, but it does have some eerie to it. The film dips a bit into the incest world which is not a surprise as you can feel it in the beginning so that was not even a surprised. The part that I struggled with was the Lodgers themselves. The evil just did not feel it and the back story was blotchy. Which is too bad because the tale was not bad, but it was too boring to hold my attention.

Rating:  I just get why people enjoy this film. Yes, it was done well and it is a cute tale but for a horror film it just was not enough to keep me going and wanting more. We lack, and scares and we have water and floating bodies sorry but just not enough for beers.

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Axe Murders of Villisca (2016)

The Axe Murders of Villisca (2016)

Country:  USA

Director:  Tony E. Valenzuela

Main Stars:  Robert Adamson, Jarett Sleeper, Alex Frnka, Sean Whalen

Storyline:  Three losers decide to break into an older house to find out if it is really haunted from the past axe murders.

Review (Spoils): We have two boys who are supposed to be teenagers who are losers that you do not care about. We have a young hot kind of goth babe who got drunk and slept with someone and is now trapped in with the above two losers. And we have a mixed match back story with someone who killed people with an axe a long time ago and we still have not figured out why (even after the film)

Dear god not sure where it begin with this mess. The story is all over the place and the reason for the three-young people to break into the house is really pointless and dumb. The kids do not even look like teenagers and so what you slept with someone. Are people really that shallow anymore especially if you are 30? This film when it comes to storyline from the start was a fucking disaster! Not to mention the past story which I am still fucking lost. Who wrote and casted this?

Ok so now the time for some of the good points, Sean Whalen rocks! He is like a horror legend in my books and when I feel him in a film I smile. Hello, People Under the Stairs! Too bad his part was little and underrated in this film.  The only other highlight of this film was Alex Frnka. Never heard of her but man she is hot and should be in more horror films. Love the look and the character she played in this film even though she was way to old to play the part for that story line. But this film gets some pints for the eye candy.  We some axes and some blood and it had some potential within the first 5min.

 

Rating:  Don’t waste your time. Even if you have spare time and are staring at Netflix go somewhere else. Unless you want to see Alex Frnka hotness some more that is about all this film deliveries besides confusion and questions of why!

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)

Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)

Country:  USA

Director:  Mike Flanagan

Main Stars:  Elizabeth Reaser, Lulu Wilson, Annalise Basso, Henry Thomas

Storyline:  A young girl gets possessed as her mother runs a front on seances.

Review (Spoils): The story starts as young mother Alice (Elizabeth Reaser) is running a scam with her daughters making fake seances. As we learn her husband has been killed and she is trying to make ends meet. Trouble brews with the young girls as she the teenage one, Lina (Annalise Basso) brings home a Ouija board and Alice starts to play with it. As she plays with it the young daughter Doris (Lulu Wilson) becomes the channel between the family the father. Or is it the father?

When the film started, and I saw Elizabeth Reaser my first reaction was dear god here we go. My personal experience with Netflix ‘s Haunting of Hill House ruined my aspect of those actors. Luckily this film redeemed her for me. (God I hated that series…. Its ended like shit…anyways).

 

There are few things that I liked about the film. First can not go wrong with the late 60s era, love the women outfits and style. The family connection was well written and the back drop worked. The CGI was cheap, but it was not overly done and the effects on Doris was actual not bad, with the wide mouth and eyes.  The possible love interest story line was not needed and could have been dropped but the film kept me interested as it has a nice haunting backdrop.  Elizabeth Reaser did a really good job playing someone you should not like but at the same time you felt for her. She was sexy but at the same time playing the concerned mother who went too far. But yes the corny black men was a bit much as they haunted from the other side.

Rating:  This was a decent horror film for not being well known. I usually get bored of haunting stuff as after a while they become a fad and the same. Elizabeth Reaser did a great job along with the fellow young actresses. I also enjoyed Henry Thomas as the Father. Don’t expect gore or a lot of blood but something along the lines of the other haunting tales of this era. Hats off to Elizabeth Reaser from redeeming herself in my mind from that other horrible series.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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Mama (2013)

Mama (2013)

Country:  USA

Director:  Andy Muschietti

Main Stars:  Jessica Chastain, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Megan Charpentier, Isabel Nelisse

Storyline:  A uncle inherits two young girls that have been left in the woods after the death of their father.

Review (Spoils): Annabel (Jessica Chastain) is young wanna be rocker who lives with Jeff (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau). When Jeff gets the two young girls Victoria and Lilly (Megan Charpentier, Isabel Nelisse )after they have been found in the woods years after the death of their father. Annebel was not ready to be child caregiver and better yet when Jeff gets injured and needs medical care she is really alone. But is she alone, the young girls start to talk to a being known as Mama.

The film starts off kind of slow with a car accident and the young girls fending for themselves after the father is missing. The girls a little primal and need caring but they prefer the being known as Mama. Who is Mama and where is Mama is another story.

Not much gore and blood in this film. It goes more on the storyline and haunting strangeness of the girls. The film focuses almost too much on Annabel and her childish attitude then actually Mama. But the real problem of this film is the fucking CGI the last 20min of the film is very painful! The film was not bad and then it fell apart with cheezy CGI yet again.

Rating:  Another victim of CGI in the Horror world. Too bad as the film had something going for it….

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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The Conjuring II (2016)

The Conjuring II (2016)

Country:  USA

Director:  James Wan

Main Stars:  Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Madison Wolfe, Bonnie Aarons

Storyline:  A family’s daughter is being haunted by a demon presence and need help.

Review (Spoils): The Warrens (Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson) return as they travel to help a family after a desperate call for help as their youngest daughter (Madison Wolfe) seems to be possessed. When they arrive as usual they need to convince everyone that it is real and not another fake parole trick. During this whole speak in deep voices and flying stuff Vera also see’s Patrick’s death in a vision. What is the deal with the old man haunting the young girl and what is the connection of the Marilyn Manson nun (Bonnie Aarons) to it all?

This film does not stray far from the first one except the hauntings are done better. The nun is the star of the film to be honest and kept me intrigued. We have floating kids, stuff flying, some deep haunting voices, possession and a couple creepy parts. The one thing about this film that was missing was I was not frighten or weirder out at all.

Rating:  It could be me, but I find all these haunting films confusing and I do get them mixed up as I watch them. But this one I did not mind and enjoyed the nun a lot, the makeup was done great. The Warrens are an interesting lot and I really would not mind if they kept the series going. Sure, it had some faults like why would a demon give their true name out in any way?  Unlike some of the other haunting films series.

7/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Poltergeist of Borley Forest / American Poltergeist II (2013)

The Poltergeist of Borley Forest / American Poltergeist II (2013)

Country:  USA

Director:  Stephen McKendree

Main Stars:  Marina Petrano, Christopher Ingle, Rhea Rossiter, Nicholas Barrera

Storyline:  A young girl is being haunted since a party in a forest.

Review (Spoils): This one that is even more confusing than the first film. We have a teenage girl who goes to a forest party and since she is being stalked by a man who is creepy in his own way and seeing strange things. With the help of her friends and her brother she tries to figure out the history and the connection to herself.

So, the acting is better but man this story line is slow and boring. We have like no action except some creepy dude trying to get laid for the first hour. Do not expect scares or very little blood (in a flashback) as there is just a lot of talking and semi bad acting. The deaths are off screen and just more chats. The parents are horrible actors and this film will make you sleep!

The film goes by a number of different titles like American Poltergeist II and You Will Love Me.

Rating:  Why the Hell would they tie in a name of a second one when the first one was so bad. At least if you are trying to resurrect the series go out with a bang of gore and scares. Not yet another boring story line which has no real background or even connection to the first film. This is actually equal if not worse than the first film (yes, the acting is better) but man it is fucking boring. Even with the original titles, this film is bad. The only thing going for it the Lindsay Lohen lookalike Page (Marina Petrano).

2/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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