Category Archives: Haunting

Girl on the Third Floor (2019)

Girl on the Third Floor (2019)

Country: USA

Director:  Travis Stevens

Main Stars:  C.M. Punk, Trieste Kelly Dunn, Sarah Brooks, Travis Delgado, Elissa Dowling

Storyline:  Husband with a dark past gets an old house ready for his pregnant wife that is coming to move there soon. While getting the house ready he is visited by the neighbor pastor and a seductive young girl. All they are all connected to something else.

Review (Spoils): Don (C.M. Punk) has a dark past with booze and fraud and when he sets out to the country to get a very old house setup for his wife (Trieste Kelly Dunn) things go odd. He is visited from the pastor across the street who is asking personal questions and late at night a young blonde (Sarah Brooks) visit also very seductively. As he becomes unloyal yet again things start to unfold around the house as we are slowing fixing pipes, drywall and painting. Even his dog has the jitters.

The acting of the film was not bad to be honest and the story line did unfold well. Sure, neither the husband or the wife is lovable characters and the young seductress was well attractive and entertaining but some of the items did not sit well. The flashback vision towards the end was questionable but I guess it was there way of explaining it more in detail but the gruesome woman in the wall idea was a bit of stretch. They should have just stuck to the plot with just the young woman. The film does build the characters, but I believe the main characters had to be some likable for us to even want to cheer them on. C.M. Punk was a bit of dope and Trieste Kelly Dunn’s character screamed bitch.

The movie gives us blood and lots of gooey messes. Random ooze from walls and pipes, nasty blades cuts throughout, a nice head rip, a nasty sledgehammer to the face, something in the dryer (no spoil), the sexy Sarah Brooks and of course the odd dead corpses in the wall. The special effect were actual not bad for this rate of film.

Rating:  I would not say the film was scary, but the film was entertaining enough, and I enjoyed it. Not sure why this film was so many bad reviews as I thought it was a pretty decent flick for what it was. But then again it had the hot chick Sarah Brooks and gore so with that I was sold right there.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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Kuroneko (1968)

Kuroneko (1968)

Country: Japan

Director:  Kaneto Shindo

Main Stars:  Kichiemon Nakamura, Nobuko Otowa, Kei Sato

Storyline:  A group of samurai’s attacks and rape a young woman and her mother. After their house is burnt down with their bodies inside, they come back as ghosts to kill their attackers.

Review (Spoils): Gintoki (Kichiemon Nakamura) and Yone (Nobuko Otowa) are attacked by a large group of samurai men that come into their home rape and murder them. On the exit out they burn down what is left of them. As the bodies burn, they are brought back with a black cat connection as ghosts that haunt the land and kill off their murders one by one. As bodies of men are found with their throats ripped out and bleed out the governor calls on a young crazed hero to kill off the demons of the land.

First off, this film is actually pretty damn gory for its time. The white-faced ghost ladies are not be messed with. The scenes of the throats being torn out by their own mouths like demon beast is actually done very well. And the finally fight scene of the hero against the ghost is amazing for it time. The special effects are fun to watch as she jumps around the room, flies and tumbles. That scene alone nails this as high classic of horror to watch.

Yes, this film can be confusing as the story line is the reverse of the other classic Onibaba. The makeup is creepy, the visuals of the ladies is spot on and the gore is there. This film gives us great special flying effects for its time, black cats, beheading, nasty throat bits, pouring blood and of course the rape scene.

Rating:  This is a classic in my books and excited that stumbled by accident upon it.  Defiantly a memorable film. If you have not seen this film and love classic horror you need to hunt this down, you will not be disappointed. The film has a great plot and story line and the effects and make up are well worth the watch.

8/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Temple (2017)

The Temple (2017)

Country: USA

Director:  Michael Barrett

Main Stars:  Logan Huffman, Natalia Warner, Brandon Sklenar

Storyline:  Three Americans head to Japan as tourist and hunt down into the mountains for a lost hidden temple they found in a book.

Review (Spoils): A storyline is retold of what unfolded at the old temple. Asshole boyfriend (Brandon Sklenar) of Kate (Natalia Warner) is already in Japan, so she travels to met him there along with her dreamy creepy friend Christopher (Logan Huffman). When they get there the third wheel kicks into high gear and the come to an old bookstore in which Kate wants a book she cannot understand. Well freak friend decides to stop taking pictures of her (which James should beat him to a pulp for) and watch her have sex in the same room at night and steal the book for her. They head to the mountains and find the temple and he breaks his leg and they have to spend the night and things go wrong.

This whole storyline is scattered the characters relationship makes no sense what’s so ever and seems to be on the edge of stalker. Besides hot Natalia Warner the movie has the typical scares of a small boy, appearing ghosts, eyeless people and some old broken statues and a lack of storyline. The film is boring and lacking in scares. No blood and no real substance to hold it all together.

Rating:  This film was not holding a lot for me from the beginning but luckily it had Natalia Warner. Other than that, the film was a repeat of number of old ghost haunting films and lacked total sense. This should be called The Stalker not The Temple.

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Mara (2018)

Mara (2018)

Country: USA

Director:  Clive Tonge

Main Stars:  Olga Kurylenko, Craig Conway, Javier Botet, Mackenzie Imsand, Rosie Fellner

Storyline:  An ancient demon haunts people dreams as it feeds off their death. A criminal psychologist investigating gets trapped in the curse.

Review (Spoils): Criminal psychologist Kate (Olga Kurylenko) is assigned to investigate a murder in which only a young girl is witness too. As Kate looks further into the child and what happened this all leads to ancient curse of a demon known as Mara that haunts and kills in phases.

This film is a like a cross between The Grudge and the Nightmare on Elm Street series. Instead of Freddy haunting everyone and causing people to not sleep we have a haunting creepy limbed woman known as Mara. As Kate goes through the investigation, she learns that the murder might all be tied to ancient being that haunts and kills people in their sleep. As she meets people that are claiming its real and attacks in phases she gets marked also (starts with red mark on the eye) and the madness begins. While she is trying to accept the fate, she tries to find out what is the connection of the demon to kill.

The movie is set with some typical scares and a villain again that a woman with long hair and moves in awkward steps upon the person. Nothing really out of the ordinary except its been awhile since we had a dream killer.  Olga Kurylenko does do an amazing job as the lead during this scattered storyline that really does not get explained. Secondly Craig Conway is also awesome as the crazy Dougie and that character along was worth the viewing. But unfortunate the haunting demon Mara is not memorable.

The film gives us red blood dots on eyes, red eyes, some broken necks, typical woman demon that crawls funny, the cute Olga Kurylenko, a nasty eye lid slash, a burning with gas and some dark dream sequences. The eye lid scene is enough to make you clinch.

Rating:  This film had some protentional but the storyline of why leaves it kind of lame. I actually did love the phases of the haunting and how the demon is ancient and the scene explaining that with both Craig Conway and Olga Kurylenko but after that its kind of fell flat. Brining it back to the kid and her parents seemed like a cop out and I lost interest. Too bad as the movie was going in the right track at one point. Maybe a sequel could save this film to explain something I little more complete for the demon Mara.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Deadcon (2019)

Deadcon (2019)

Country: USA

Director:  Caryn Waechter

Main Stars:  Lauren Elizabeth, Claudia Sulewski, Keith Machekanyanga, Mimi Gianopulos, Jessie Paege

Storyline:  Young social media stars are being killed and haunted by technology past.

 

Review (Spoils): Young and annoying social media stars are invited to a con around themselves but when they book into a hotel, they start to experience strange things and slowly start to not be themselves.

First off, the whole social media horror has been overdone to the point just stop please. Yes, I use social media but lets be honest there is a large number of people screaming for attention that we do not need a horror film around it every 6 months.  We have some young attractive but yet annoying full of themselves social media stars (Lauren Elizabeth, Claudia Sulewski, Jessie Paege) and a hot agent for one (Mimi Gianopulos) and some cheesy stalker like guys that all check into a hotel for this huge braindead social media event. Turns out back in 1980s a little kid named Bobby had no friends and start to haunt the internet and now wants revenge.

Nothing in this film is explained except how stupid we are as a society. That is what I got out of this film period. We have annoying egotist young people, annoying fan smart phone addicted kids, a young boy who walks around back and forth with a balloon and a really old computer. Other than the boring bleed walls nonsense and some kind of cool effects in one scene with Claudia Sulewski the rest is just garbage.

Rating:  If you have an hour and 15min to kill and want to watch some cute annoying chicks slap this film on. If you want something that makes sense and still has hot chicks, please check out a ton of other horror films that have nothing to do with the internet. Mimi Gianopulos you can do better than this mess.

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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IT (2017)

IT (2017)

Country: USA

Director:  Andy Muschietti

Main Stars:  Bill Skarsgard, Jaeden Martell, Finn Wolfhard, Beverly Marsh, Ben Denbrough, Ben Hanscom, Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff, Jackson Robert Scott

Storyline:  Summer of 1989, a bunch of nerdy kids go on the hunt of one of their own younger brothers goes missing. They start to unveil a haunting Clown that starts to threaten them all.

Review (Spoils): The film takes place in the low run-down town called Derry everyone has issues of some sort. Everything from over mothering to child molestation and abuse (to me this seems a bit too much but anyways). Little Georgie (Jackson Robert Scott) loses his paper boat as it floats into the sewer and as he goes after it, he comes across the haunting clown known as Pennywise (Bill Skarsgard). As the clown taunts him he attacks him and drags into the sewers. Not long after his old brother Jaeden (Ben Denbrough) gets his fellow nerds to go hunting for his lost brother. Yes, this is yet another horror remake.

We have a large cast of kids who are getting bullied or beat one way or another. This a huge chunk of the film as they build the characters into their Stand by Me cast. The special effects are done very well, and you can tell they threw a shit ton of money into IT. Bill Skarsgard was outstanding as he played the Joker like Clown that becomes whatever you fear. They really focused on him and built it up as villain. There is enough here to make you glued to the screen and pace goes well even if it is a very long part one of the film.

Lots of clown action, low income kids, some crappy CGI (thin woman), lots of large mouths with teeth, hormones of young boys, child abuse, molestation, floating kids, glowing eyes, red balloons, a bloody bathroom with Ring like hair attack, nasty arm bit, broken arms, some gashes and lots of Pennywise injuries.

Rating:  Normally I hate remakes more than anything but to be honest this film was better then the original. Do I feel the film was over hyped and the younger generation are worshiping this film like it the greatest thing ever when it was ok? Yes! Bill Skarsgard was great yes, he was, and he built the villain Pennywise right up and made the film but to be honest the film screams Stand by Me. I liked the film and it was pretty good as the special effects were not all cheesy but it does not stand with the other classics of the 70s and early 80s that so many people rant it about. The movie was just too damn long for what it was trying to tell and could of all been wrapped in one film instead of cashing out. I did enjoy the film… its a remake so it makes it hard.

7/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Blair Witch (2016)

Blair Witch (2016)

Country:  USA

Director:  Adam Wingard

Main Stars:  James Allen McCune, Callie Hernandez, Corbin Reid, Valorie Curry, Wes Robinson, Brandon Scott

Storyline:  Again, a videotape has been found with and some young people are missing that were wandering in the deep forest that is haunted.

Review (Spoils): In the Black Hills Forest tales of a haunting has been legendary. James (James Allen McCune) wants to finally put to rest his sister Heathers disappearance on the woods. A team of young people being led by James kind of head into the woods during the day to find out if the stories are true about what exists in the woods. As they travel deeper and get lost in the maze and night starts to fall, they all start to lose their sanity.

Once again, a tape has been found which bring a young back on a hunt for his missing sister from 20 years ago. The storyline of this one has not changed much from the original, but it is okay to burn 1.5 hours. Sure, the young people are super annoying and do stupid things and think they are all super cool and tough but really the scares are the same as before.

We have a dark forest, shaky camera action that you have no idea what the fuck is going on, people staring in the corner of the room (but this is explained so that was nice), lots of yelling, cool witch tokens hanging on trees, mud and some flashing lights. Nothing out of the ordinary with this film at all.

Rating: Not sure why this film was made and the reasoning it needed to be told but it was nice connection to the first one, but it did not stray from it at all.  The characters were super annoying except for Callie Hernandez as she is hot. The scares were limited and looking back maybe this could be watched again as a drinking game when someone name is called. Or if there is a group of you each choose a name and drink too it.

5/ 10 Beers!

Yacker

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Malevolent (2018)

Malevolent (2018)

Country:  UK

Director:  Olaf de Fleur Joahnneson

Main Stars:  Florence Pugh, Ben Lloyd- Hughes, Celia Imrie, Georgina Bevan, Nicola Grier

Storyline:  A young group are scamming people in fake hauntings until they come across the real deal.

Review (Spoils): Brother and sister Jackson and Angela (Florence Pugh) run a scamming like fake setup for hauntings and make a good profit doing. The two of them and their group get hired to check out an old foster home and with Angela’s power they come across the haunting past. Young girls were tortured here, and their mouths stitched shut by the sadistic owner.

If the above plot of a group of people working to scam people in haunting sounds familiar, then you will be like me and give a groan. The originality of this film was lost from the first 10min and I was losing interest which really did hurt this film. The acting was ok but sometimes I do have a hard time with Florence Pugh as she comes across a non-emotional actress which can be dry and over done after a few films.

The film gives is the typical haunting of little girl’s flashbacks, so expect some girls just appearing. The film really does not get into the true horror until about the last 15min when the truth all starts to unravel, and we get to the villains and the heroes. But even then, some of the gore is taken off screen or out of the picture. This is too bad because the scene with the hack saw could have been great. To me Celia Imrie was the highlight of the film.

Rating:  Nothing really new with this film as the topic has been so overdone. There are way better ghost tales out there to check out. This film is forgettable.

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Dementia 13 (2017)

Dementia 13 (2017)

Country:  USA

Director:  Richard LeMay

Main Stars:  Julia Campanelli, Channing Pickett, Steve Polites, Marianne Noscheze, Ana Isabelle

Storyline:  A rich family starts to see deaths as they wonder what has happened to one of the sons while honoring the death of the youngest daughter.

Review (Spoils): The Haloran’s family is messed up as they have a very rich upbringing and act like spoiled brats to honor their mother Gloria. As one son disappears when he marries a woman that the family disapproves of things start to get a little bloody as someone is swinging an axe.

Not really sure where to start with this mess, oh ya I hate remakes and the original is a goddamn classic! The film does not try to stay true to the classic and it’s a mess from the being. The acting is lacking and the only going for it is the odd blood scene and the hotness of Ana Isabelle which they fucking killed early in the film! The film is so unrealistic on the way people act and walk around that it was hard to focus on the story. Not too much the haunting background thrown into the mix…. Disaster!

The film gives is a nasty face scratch, dripping and splashes of blood, shitty ghosts, axe swings and a nice axe to the chest (nice chest too by the way). Other than that, just some back and forth and shitty ending.

Rating:  Fuck Richard LeMay for even thinking this was a good idea. Also, should have kept Ana Isabelle till the end. Grab a case of beer and go find the original!

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Lodgers (2017)

The Lodgers (2017)

Country:  Ireland

Director:  Brian O’Malley

Main Stars:  Charlotte Vega, Bill Milner, Eugene Simon

Storyline:  Twins are cursed to never leave the house as they have a sinister evil living in their house.

Review (Spoils): Rachel (Charlotte Vega) and Edward (Bill Milner) are trapped in a run-down old house and there is a unexplained evil that lives at night to make sure. There are three rules for the twins, must be in bed for the strike of midnight, don’t let people in and if one breaks the rule they both pay. As one falls in love it all goes weird and both twin struggle with the evil called the Lodgers.

We have a nice little Irish ghost like tale that struggles with a interesting story even though it could of worked. The backdrop is beautiful, but the story got boring and dragged. There is nothing for scares here really, but it does have some eerie to it. The film dips a bit into the incest world which is not a surprise as you can feel it in the beginning so that was not even a surprised. The part that I struggled with was the Lodgers themselves. The evil just did not feel it and the back story was blotchy. Which is too bad because the tale was not bad, but it was too boring to hold my attention.

Rating:  I just get why people enjoy this film. Yes, it was done well and it is a cute tale but for a horror film it just was not enough to keep me going and wanting more. We lack, and scares and we have water and floating bodies sorry but just not enough for beers.

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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