Bad Biology (2008)
Director: Frank Henenlotter
Main Stars: Charlee Danielson, Anthony Sneed
Storyline: A young man and woman are looking for sexual fulfillment and when they met it turns into a freaky and bloody love story.
Review (Spoils): Ok they only way to review this film is to spoil it so here we go. We have the young beautiful Jennifer (Charlee Danielson) who was born with seven clits, yes, I just said seven! She is impossible to satisfy because of the gender disorder (or is it a blessing?). She is such as fiend sexually and wants to finally be satisfied that sometimes she accidently kills her partners. In due time she comes across a male version much like herself name Batz (Anthony Sneed ). He does not seven penises, but he does have a monster one that goes out at night and kills and cause massive organisms. Okay are you still here?
This film has some of the crazy’s special effects of organs you will see, there is lot of blood and gore, mutant babies, wrestling penises, a jerking machine and some extreme wrongness that I could go on and on. Just watch the damn film! This is a trash classic!
Rating: If you have no idea who Frank Henenlotter is just walk away as he is one of the gods of horror trash much like Lloyd Kaufman. I personally love the grindhouse trash of horror so of course I am going to enjoy this film as I love to see stuff push the boundaries or wrongness. This is a film which I can say sits well in my collection along with Frankenhooker, Basket Case, Brain Damage or even Nekromantik. Charlee Danielson is beautiful in this film and should be cherished in the world of horror. All Hail the Queen of the 7 Clits!
8/10 Beers! (Trash factor high)
The Plumber (1979)
Director: Peter Weir
Main Stars: Judy Morris, Ivar Kants, Robert Coleby, Candy Raymond
Storyline: A young woman feels she is being stocked by her landlord’s plumber
Review (Spoils): The film starts off as a young working couple are struggling and living in a apartment complex. Jill (Judy Morris) gets interrupted by a plumber ( Ivar Kants) that is doing an inspection, but her landlord has not mentioned anything. Before she knows it, the man makes himself at home and starts to say she has major issues with the pipes. The young madman starts to take down walls and smash holes in the place and starts to do work that could take weeks. Jill starts to get the weird feeling that he is not leaving.
The film is a typical 70s horror film that does not work on the shock but instead pulls on the feelings of yuck. Yes, the storyline does become almost too bizarre, but it works. The Jill character does become hard to relate too as she is acting a bit silly and to be honest the police should have been involved and landlord from the get go but it all works out in the end.
The problem with this film is, its full of douchbags and really there is not one nice person out of the whole damn group. So, are we on the side of the woman or are we one the side of the psycho who might not be one or are we on the side of the horny friend? I believe this was done on purpose as then it makes the film more like a piece of art instead of just badly played characters who make dumb decisions.
Rating: This is a hard find and I really did not know much about it until I came across it. I was not expecting much but it did work and kept me entranced to see how this was going to end. Sure, it is not a classic by any means but it was an okay film that gives you that uneasy feeling.
Dementia 13 (2017)
Director: Richard LeMay
Main Stars: Julia Campanelli, Channing Pickett, Steve Polites, Marianne Noscheze, Ana Isabelle
Storyline: A rich family starts to see deaths as they wonder what has happened to one of the sons while honoring the death of the youngest daughter.
Review (Spoils): The Haloran’s family is messed up as they have a very rich upbringing and act like spoiled brats to honor their mother Gloria. As one son disappears when he marries a woman that the family disapproves of things start to get a little bloody as someone is swinging an axe.
Not really sure where to start with this mess, oh ya I hate remakes and the original is a goddamn classic! The film does not try to stay true to the classic and it’s a mess from the being. The acting is lacking and the only going for it is the odd blood scene and the hotness of Ana Isabelle which they fucking killed early in the film! The film is so unrealistic on the way people act and walk around that it was hard to focus on the story. Not too much the haunting background thrown into the mix…. Disaster!
The film gives is a nasty face scratch, dripping and splashes of blood, shitty ghosts, axe swings and a nice axe to the chest (nice chest too by the way). Other than that, just some back and forth and shitty ending.
Rating: Fuck Richard LeMay for even thinking this was a good idea. Also, should have kept Ana Isabelle till the end. Grab a case of beer and go find the original!
Get Out (2017)
Director: Jordan Peele
Main Stars: Daniel Kaluuya, Allison Williams, Bradley Whitford, Catherine Keener, Caleb Landry Jones, Marcus Henderson
Storyline: A young black man goes for a weekend to visit his white girlfriends’ family and it does not turn out to be a normal family reunion.
Review (Spoils): Chris (Daniel Kaluuya) and Rose (Allison Williams) heads to her parents place for the weekend for the first time to introduce him to them. He is nervous as Rose has not told them that he is black. Joking with his friend on the phone on the way up they hit a deer with the car and slowly make their way there. From the beginning Rose’s parents are awkward even her nutty brother. As the weekend goes all the family and friends come as Chris starts to feel uncomfortable around them all but when he starts to talk to the black people of the area the truth starts to unravel.
I personally heard a lot of this film but never really got into the details as I did not want to ruin it for myself. The acting is very well done, and the atmosphere of the film is extreme odd and creepy which really makes the film. The whole chunk of the film is the working of is literally Chris trying to find out what the fuck is going on and why Rose’s group of family are so weird.
When it comes blood and guts the film has not a lot to the focus of the seed of the film starts to reveal. We have a few jump scares first and like I said awkward scenes. In the end we see some nice gun shots, nasty bashes to the head, classic ramming of deer head into someone’s chest and neck and an exposed brain. The blood does flow but not till the end.
Rating: This film was a lot of fun as it was creepy like Children of the Corn with lots of racist undertones. The story has some originality to it which is very hard to find in horror, so it gets huge cheers for that and plus the scarlet Allison Williams is by no means is horrible to look at for the whole film.
Filed under Occult, Slasher
The Strangers 2 : Prey at Night (2018)
Director: Johannes Roberts
Main Stars: Christina Hendricks, Martin Henderson, Bailee Madison, Lewis Pullman, Damian Maffei, Emma Bellomy, Lea Enslin
Storyline: The stranger three killers are back but this time stalking a family of four.
Review (Spoils): The first film of the first was a gem so this one of course would have a hard time to hit that success. This one takes place in the same area but as a family of four are traveling to drop off their wanna be goth daughter (Bailee Madison) to a boarding school thing go wrong.
To be honest that is the whole damn story, that one simple paragraph to me this does not hurt the film but as from other reviews people feel different. We have a simple plot with some memorable killers again such as Man in the Mask (Damian Maffel), Dollface (Emma Bellomy)and Pinup (Lea Enslin) but this time things end differently. The film deliveries lots of blood, lots of stabbing, a fire, a very cool blood in the pool scene and lots of back pain.
Rating: The real problem for this film was the daughter she was not that tough, and her goth image so was so fake it was hard to want her to win. Just because you bought a shirt off of Ebay that says Ramones does not make you cool. The jumps and the creepiness of the film was there but not at great lengths like the first film. But I love these killers and it was hard for me to let them go. But one great fault is the ending cause really nobody could survive all that. The movie could of been greater like way greater but its not as bad as everyone is saying online.
Eyes of a Stranger (1981)
Director: Ken Wiederhorn
Main Stars: Lauren Tewes, Jenifer Jason Leigh, John DiSeanti
Storyline: Women are being murdered and a new host is on the hunt who it might be
Review (Spoils): I was about 5min into this film and knew that I was in love with it. It screamed late 70s early 80s horror. It has the grainy feel and it reminded me of Dressed to Kill or something from Dario. From the opening seeing of the dead girl in the creek to almost end I was in entranced with this film. It screamed classic Yacker horror film. We have a noisy new anchor named Jane who is upset with all murders of women and she believes she knows who the killer could be and because of it she might have placed her mute sister Tracy in trouble.
The film has the typical weird lonely man killing and raping women as the cute Jane tries to save the world. Yes, the feel can be uneasily but what the fuck do you want it’s a horror film. The blood is a nice light pink in this film and yes, the ending can be cheesy, but they have some cool kills in this film. A nasty beheading with a meat cleaver, some throat slits, some stabs and a few ripped blouses. Sure, we have some characters doing stupid shit, but this film still rocked.
Rating: If you like Dario, Dressed to Kill or Maniac (the original) you will need to check this out. This movie was fun and I have to thank my wife for finding it as the more I think about it the more of gem this is. Don’t forget the feed the fishes!
The Hand (1981)
Director: Oliver Stone
Main Stars: Michael Caine, Andrea Marcovicci, Annie McEnroe
Storyline: An artist loses his hand in an accident and with his hatred the hand comes back to kill.
Review (Spoils): Comic artist Johnathan Lansdale (Michael Caine) has it all the beautiful wife, healthy child and the successful career. When his wife (Andrea Marcovicci) starts to pressure him on her moving to New York to take a relationship break the truth starts to unravel that it is not that great after all. During one of their fights the get in a car accident which he loses his hand. So there goes his career and wife and the mind games start to begin along with his hatred. Suddenly the people he hates start to be killed off and people do not know why is it the madness of Johnathan or is it his missing hand?
This film was a lot of fun to be honest. We have the conflict between the man actor and his lovely wife who is having somewhat an affair with her yoga teacher. The blood is well red in this film and can be spraying in some parts of the film. The daughter yes can be fake and annoying but the relationship with his wife and the side girl Stella (Annie McEnroe) keep you interested and that’s not counting the crazy hand!
The movie brings on some bright red blood, some choking, nudity, some strangling and even some crazy cross-eyed deaths. Not to mention that rubber walking hand!
Rating: The film was a lot of fun and it was a surprise for me as I never even heard of the film before better enjoyed a horror film from Oliver Stone. This is a special surprise gem that may be hard to find but if you do come across it you should check it out.
Filed under Monster, Slasher