Category Archives: Slasher

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

Country:  USA

Director: Deborah Brock

Main Stars: Crystal Bernard, Jennifer Rhodes, Kimberly McArthur, Juilette Cummins, Heidi Kozak, Cindy Eilbacher, Atanas Ilitch

Storyline: The younger sister of Valeria has a feeling the haunting of the driller killer still exists.

Review (Spoils): Smoking hot Courtney (Crystal Bernard) has grown up since the first film and keeps having nightmares of that bloody night when the drill killer came to town and killed a batch of teenage girls. She keeps dreaming and seeing her older sister warning her about the drill killer, sex and other fun stuff as she and her friends plan a get together to party, play music and do just that. Just when her friends start to think, she is nuts the drill killer comes and brings on the bloody tunes.

I am going to first start off when I was young I had a TV crush on Crystal Bernard and for that; I cannot not like this film. This film has nudity, blood, hot chicks, an Andrew Dice Clay killer (Atanas Ilitch) with a drill on his guitar, sex dolls, 80s partying and some cheesy dance moves what is there not to like! We have some bad special effects, blood, plastic body parts and 80s love.

Rating: I loved the first film a lot and this one it not like it at all but…. It is so bad and worth drinking too that you cannot dislike it. Its screams B movie and screams hormones! Therefore, I was disappointed that this film did not score as great as the first one and became so damn cheesy and low dollar. In addition, it has Crystal Bernard and Crystal Bernard in a bikini…. You will need beers to survive this film.

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Hatchet 2 (2007)

Hatchet II (2007)

Country:  USA

Director: Adam Green

Main Stars: Danielle Harris, Kane Hodder, Tony Todd, Alexis Kendra, Kathryn Fiore

Storyline: Marybeth escapes from last time from Victor Crowley and gets help to seek revenge on the bayou butcher.

Review (Spoils): The movie picks right up from the last one when Marybeth (Danielle Harris) escapes the lunatic of the swamp Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder). She digs and learns some backstory truth of her own connection to the butcher (tied to her dad) and decides she wants revenge and go back in because of the slaughter from the first film.

The film brings a recast, as we know have classic Halloween star Danielle Harris now playing Marybeth. Not sure why they changed, the actor for this film but it hurts the gel of the story but then again I do not dislike Danielle Harris. We have extra gore, a more detailed Victor Crowley, a massive chainsaw, many bodies being ripped apart, heads flying, face chopping, the classic axe and the return of Reverend Zombie (Tony Todd). This film does not shy by a full cast of classic horror legends.

Much like the first film do not expect a great over the top story that makes much common sense. This is created more for the gore hounds out there that just want to see gore, blood and some nakedness (so a good chunk of the horror community).

Rating: Want some tongue in cheek gore and blood? Well your in luck as Mr. Crowley is back and this film deliveries that. The downfall of this film is a couple of things, it is a repeat of the first film in an overall thought and the humor sometimes over comes the horror and it does become a but silly. (Cabin Fever 2 fell into this problem also). For some reason this series is a hit and miss for me.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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Most Likely to Die (2015)

Most Likely to Die (2015)

Country:  USA

Director: Anthony DiBlasi

Main Stars: Chad Addison, Jake Busey, Tess Christiansen, Perez Hilton, Marci Miller, Tatum Miranda, Heather Morris

Storyline: Class reunion in the forest turns deadly.

Review (Spoils): A group of former classmates get together for a pre-party for the actual reunion and people start to disappear. One by one, each one starts to be slaughtered by someone dressed in a gown, razor hat and a mask. Each one is slaughtered to match the wording under their graduation photo in the yearbook.

This is perfect plot, people for a nice senseless slaughter movie. This film brought me back to what I like about cheesy slaughter fests. We have hot babes, people acting stupid when frightened, conflict, lots of dark blood, some gore and a unique villain that I actually enjoyed. Perez Hilton was actually entertaining in this film and Tess Christiansen is smoking hot. Sure, the plot had some serious unanswered questions and holes but this type of film is not meant to be serious. We have dark blood, flying razor hats, a nasty hockey stick gag, a beheading that was graphic (I was surprised and delighted), lots of throats slash and some gunshots. Enough here to keep the gore fan happy.

Rating: Very surprised by this film I was really expecting a piece of crap. When the movie started I was like dear god this is going to be painful but we killed the dumb horny chick at the beginning and we moved on to more characters. Sure, there was skin but no nudity but I actually cheered for the villain in this one. I actually hope he makes a come back!

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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Nekromantik (1987)

Nekromantik (1987)

Country:  Germany

Director: Jorg Buttgereit

Main Stars: Bernd Daktari Lorenz, Beatrice Manowski, Harald Lundt

Storyline: A street sweeper brings home a corpse after a bad accident and learns that his wife enjoys the body more than him.

Review (Spoils): Rob and Betty are not your normal couple. When Rob brings some a rotting corpse for him and his wife to play with things become massive bizarre. He loses his job and even ends up losing his wife to the dead.

Ever need to watch a film that is so wrong that it is makes it a classic. Well welcome to the world of necrophilia. Yes, not an easy topic, but one that is portrayed in this film massively. If your easy offended, then just skip this review and this series as this is one sick fucker. Rob makes the dumbest decision by bringing home a well rotted body for he and his wife’s pleasure. Well Bob must suck because his Wife Betty has now left him a note that she is leaving him as she does not want to waste the rest of her life with him, she takes the corpse. We have the attractive Beatrice Manowski (which makes the movie even harder to watch) playing with dead bodies and parts and when I say play I actually mean having sick with! Lots of wrongness in this film, body goo, skinned rabbit, beheadings, sex/masturbation with the dead, gore, some blood, body parts that we don’t even know what it is and morals out the fucking window!

Rating: This film is a gem as it is wrong on all levels of film. The film is not well done but the topic and the gore is so over the top that you need to laugh or puke. Too be honest it is a bit of both. You cannot call yourself a horror fan if you do not know this film. It is banned in many countries for reason and it took me forever to get a copy of this many years ago. Wait till the ending…. You need lots of beer for this one….Cult Classic!

7/10 Beers!

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What’s the Matter with Helen? (1971)

What’s the Matter with Helen? (1971)

Country:  USA

Director: Curtis Harrington

Main Stars: Debbie Reynolds, Shelley Winters, Dennis Weaver

Storyline: Two women open up a dance school to get away that fact that their sons are convicted to murder.

Review (Spoils): Helen (Shelley Winters) and Adele (Debbie Reynolds) both have sons that committed a very gruesome murder and to get away from it all they go to California. They work together to open up a dance school for children.  Adele being the dancer and the teacher and Helen being the piano player they work together to make a go of it.  Through time Helen starts to get disturbing phone calls from someone that is blaming the mothers for what the sons did.  Adele is obsessed on being rich and being famous and its not long before she is bashing her eyes towards one of the children’s fathers (Dennis Weaver). While during all this Helen is starting to crack.

The film is very dark and gloomy and written a bit cheesy. The acting done well but the writing leaves the character seem a bit off and I believe this is on purpose. Shelley Winters plays the mom next door as Debbie Reynolds plays the more ditsy want fame and love character. Dennis Weaver just looks like Burt Reynolds.  The Film does have some holes in it and there is some characters thrown into the mix just to say it has more build. I was semi lost in the storyline to be honest as the whole film seems to be a secret.

We have bloody rabbits, strange phone calls, terrible music, stabbings and some nice brownish blood. The ending of the film makes the film worth the watch….trust me.

Rating: Along the veins of What Happened to Baby Jane? this film is not as good but it is darker. We have a couple leading female actresses that are thrown into a mix match storyline. Like stated above if it was not the ending the film was of fallen flat for me.

5/10 Beers!

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Die! Die! My Darling (1965)

Die! Die! My Darling (1965)

Country:  USA

Director: Silvio Narizzano

Main Stars: Tallulah Bankhead, Stefanie Powers, Peter Vaughan, Yootha Joyce, Donald Sutherland

Storyline: A young woman goes to visit the mother of a past fiancé and becomes overwhelmed with her need.

Review (Spoils): Patricia Carroll (Stefanie Powers) arrives in London with her new fiancé but before she can move on she promised that she would finally meet her old fiancés Steven’s mother (Tallulah Bankhead) (he died and Patricia has moved on). She travels out of town to an old beaten down house to finally meet the woman. She is old, strong opinionated, strangely religious and obsessed with her son. As Patricia tries to survive the visit she learns that she is not leaving anytime soon and has to keep lying to survive her visit. We quickly learn that mother is not all that she portrays to be.

Die! Die! My Darling is something a little different for a Hammer Film. This film is based mostly in an old house and a broken down mind. We have the very gorgeous Stefanie Powers playing the lead victim and lady who is being held against her will and captured because a mother is insane over the loss of her son. As the truth of Patricia starts to come to light the more nuts the mother is driven. The characters and acting is extremely well done and the even the storylines between the main plot is an interesting twist. Such as the hired staff that work for the mother and what’s in it for them. The religious over tones keeps the film entertaining and there are even some funny scenes but at the same time the mood can be very dark and icky at the same time.  Some bright red blood, knives, gun shots, a green dead body, a couple prayers, lots of “poor Steven”, long legs and sexiness. This film has it all.

Rating: This title has been thrown around for long time from music from the Misfits right to the creepy and classic tunes of Alice Cooper and Steven. This movie is a classic! This is the perfect ex-mother in-law has lost her mind film. Tallulah Bankhead is one scary mom and very strong headed and when she finally snaps the fun begins. This is a classic horror film that everyone should checkout very entertaining.

8/10 Beers!

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Turbo Kid (2015)

Turbo Kid (2015)

Country:  Canada

Director: Francois Simard, Anouk Whissell, Yoann-Karl Whissell

Main Stars: Munro Chambers, Laurence Leboeuf, Michael Ironside, Edwin Wright

Storyline: In the future we live in a wasteland lacking of water and full of destruction. A young man tries to change that.

Review (Spoils): This movie lies on the sci-fi horror line; picture Mad Max meets a Gwar show. A young man only known as the kid (Munro Chambers) is trying to survive on his own since the death of his father and mother. He collections junk to sell and survive and collects comic books of one known as Turbo Kid. When he crosses paths of his parent’s killer Zeus (Michael Ironside) and his gang of madmen he tries his hardest to be the hero he envies.

Like I stated above this movie is set in the future wasteland so do not get prepared for your standard horror film or scares. Instead prepare for a wild costume, great acting, fun storyline and buckets of spraying water filled blood. I mean buckets…………….. this film does not hold back on the gore or blood. The film has a solid cast from the young innocent man (Munro Chambers), the main bad guy Zeus Michael Ironside is awesome, the beautiful and delightful Apple (Laurence Leboeuf) and the mean mother fucker Skeletron (Edwin Wright). We have knives, guns, explosions, bodies being ripped in two, body explosions, hand being cut, arrows flying and of course saw blades that would give Blackie Lawless a run for his money.

Rating:  This movie had me from the beginning right till the end. This will become a cult classic if it isn’t already trust me. Over the top gore and a fun trip of a storyline.

8/10 Beers!

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