A Quiet Place (2018)

A Quiet Place (2018)

Country: USA

Director:  John Krasinski

Main Stars:  Emily Blunt, John Krasinski, Millicent Simmonds, Nah Jupe, Cade Woodward

Storyline:  A family needs to be silent as monsters exist that feed off of sound.

Review (Spoils):  Two parents are trying to protect their kids and survive as the world seems to be over run by spider like creatures that feed off sound. They try their damnest to not make any noise it is bound to happen as children grow and make mistakes. The film feeds off this simple plot, but it has very clever ideas on how the family survives in this battle against the sound monsters.

The father (John Krasinski) and mother (Emily Blunt) try their hardest to protect their family including their deaf daughter Regan (Millicent Simmonds). The storyline does not hint or go into what are the creatures or why things are happening but instead plays it smart and focuses on how the parents construct to live in such a world. Some examples of this is using sign language, light colored light bulbs, using over sounds to cover up theirs etc. For a simple story line this film did it right.

We have fun monsters, nasty bloody nail in the foot and an interesting child birth without sound. The monsters move pretty fast so there is not much on the gore, but the film plays on intensity trust me.

Rating:  As being a father of 2 young kids this film really pulled on the heart strings from the get-go. If you are a parent, you have been warned this intense of the survive really drags you into the film. That alone made this movie a trap for attention. The monsters are done well even though it does scream a little bit of Stranger Things. Well done John Krasinski!

8/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Quiet Room (2018)

The Quiet Room (2018)

Country: USA

Director:  Sam Wineman

Main Stars:  Jamal Douglas, Barkley Harper, Stephanie Kerbis, Brian McCook, Chris Salvatore, Alaska Thunderfuck, Lisa Wilcox, Kit Williamson

Storyline:  Young man is within a psych ward and must battle off a demon that haunts the ward before it kills everyone.

Review (Spoils): Young Michael (Jamal Douglas) is admitted to a psych ward due to the attempt of suicide and when he arrives it has awakened a female demon entity that has decided to kill off anyone who gets in its way of Michael. As Michael gets close to other inmates as friends or even sexual (as a comfort for his pain) the demon follows the path to destroy them.

This short film was suggested to me online to check out as it was released on Crypt TV as a kick off for Pride Month. Yes, the film has some homosexuality hints and visuals too it, but it does not over bear the film story line and leaves a bit to want the demon wants and why. The actual story line itself does have gaps in the findings of why but I believe this is on purpose for the audience to re-watch and try to find their own personal reasoning for the demon. The acting is not bad for short feature that rounds out a little less than 30min. Some of characters could have been rounded out a bit more but then again, it’s a short film and it needs to get the action and to the point. I found the characters outside of the main actor like Barkley Harper and Kit Williamson worked and I had interest in them. Barkley Harper had some great one liners and connection with the Hunter character, and I could listen and stare at her all day to be honest. Kit Williamson was mysterious which lean on the is he creepy or is he sincere role.

The special effects to be honest were decent for a film like this. The monster was done very well, and I enjoyed the demon and felt it was not cheesy and would be something I could see in a large film. I was quite impressed as I was expecting some bad CGI. We have blood, naked female demons, semi naked men, nasty slit wrists, dreams sequences, smoking hot Barkley Harper and some twisted leg breaks and more blood.

Rating:  Looking for a quick 30min fix of horror this is not too bad. It has the horror legendary Lisa Wilcox in it and outrageous fun Alaska Thunderfuck. As noted before Barkley Harper needs more air time in horror! Go check it out!

6/10 Beers for a short film !

Yacker

 

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The Babysitter (2017)

The Babysitter (2017)

Country: USA

Director:  McG

Main Stars:  Judah Lewis, Samara Weaving, Robbie Amell, Hana Mae Lee, Bella Thorne, Emily Alyn Lind, Andrew Bachelor, Doug Haley, Leslie Bibb, Ken Marino

Storyline:  A 11-year-old boy has a crush on his babysitter but learns the hard truth about her and her friends.

Review (Spoils): Young Cole (Judah Lewis) is a nerd and has the same babysitter all his life and still wants to have one because well he has a crush on her. One-night Cole’s parents go away yet again and hot young Bee (Samara Weaving) is needed to look after Cole. After he gets settled into bed for the night he stays up to learn that all these years she and her friends have been working out a cult that leads to sacrifices.

The movie plays of stick comedy and lots of blood much like over classic like Dead-Alive, Shawn of the Dead and Zombieland. Much like them this one does not stray far form being a classic. We have a great handful of hot babes like Cole’s mom Leslie Bibb, Bee the sitter Samara Weaving, the blonde cheerleader Bella Thorne and the odd ball goth chick with legs Hana Mae Lee. And for the rest we have shirtless Robbie Amell. Tons of blood flies in this film such as knives to the head, Poker through the head, gunshots wounds, head blown, gas explosion, nasty whatever through the neck, hangings and a car wreck that would make Christine proud. As a added bonus we have a hot kiss between Samara Weaving and Bella Thorne and a under the sheet jerk off from Leslie Bibb. The only thing missing from this film was a thicker plot background and of course some skin.

Rating:  After being told by many to check this film out and I kept putting it off as don’t normally like horror with comedy, but I rest my case I liked it. Yes, it could have used some nudity and way more of Leslie Bibb on the screen (my god she was the hottest one) and the Bee character is kind of annoying to be honest. But the cheap story line and the tongue in cheek and fast gore was great enough to keep myself entertain at the horror level. Even though the film plays on the hormones throughout it was not overdone  and there was enough one liners in it to keep a chuckle going.

8 / 10 Beers!

Yacker

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Lifeforce (1985)

Lifeforce (1985)

Country: USA

Director:  Tobe Hooper

Main Stars:  Steve Railsback, Mathilda May, Peter Firth, Frank Findlay, Patrick Stewart, Michael Gothard

Storyline:  After coming across a strange spacecraft in space and bring the specimens back to England they invade the populace as life sucking vampires.

Review (Spoils): A group float up into space and come across an odd shaped space craft. As they explore, they find some floating bat like creatures frozen in time. To make things worse they come across 3 naked people encased in box like crystals. As all great explorers do, they bring them back to the ship and of course the horror begins.

This film is trapped between a sci-fi and wanting to be a horror film sort of like Aliens but nothing like Aliens. The acting is meh and this film did not age well but the first part of the film was interesting. Once the attractive female vampire was loose out in the public is when the film started to lose it storyline and became a bit scattered.

We have the beautiful naked Mathilda May, lots of eye taunting gazes, space, bat creatures, mind reading, more 1980s blue lighting that one film should have, cool life drained zombie vampires and some running vampire zombies. The film does lack on the blood a bit but did I mention Mathilda May?

Rating:  If it was not for the whole naked Mathilda May for pretty much the chunk of the film this may have stunk. She very attractive and her body was well worth watching this film right through as the rest can be a bit of a mess.

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

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IT (2017)

IT (2017)

Country: USA

Director:  Andy Muschietti

Main Stars:  Bill Skarsgard, Jaeden Martell, Finn Wolfhard, Beverly Marsh, Ben Denbrough, Ben Hanscom, Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon, Jack Dylan Grazer, Wyatt Oleff, Jackson Robert Scott

Storyline:  Summer of 1989, a bunch of nerdy kids go on the hunt of one of their own younger brothers goes missing. They start to unveil a haunting Clown that starts to threaten them all.

Review (Spoils): The film takes place in the low run-down town called Derry everyone has issues of some sort. Everything from over mothering to child molestation and abuse (to me this seems a bit too much but anyways). Little Georgie (Jackson Robert Scott) loses his paper boat as it floats into the sewer and as he goes after it, he comes across the haunting clown known as Pennywise (Bill Skarsgard). As the clown taunts him he attacks him and drags into the sewers. Not long after his old brother Jaeden (Ben Denbrough) gets his fellow nerds to go hunting for his lost brother. Yes, this is yet another horror remake.

We have a large cast of kids who are getting bullied or beat one way or another. This a huge chunk of the film as they build the characters into their Stand by Me cast. The special effects are done very well, and you can tell they threw a shit ton of money into IT. Bill Skarsgard was outstanding as he played the Joker like Clown that becomes whatever you fear. They really focused on him and built it up as villain. There is enough here to make you glued to the screen and pace goes well even if it is a very long part one of the film.

Lots of clown action, low income kids, some crappy CGI (thin woman), lots of large mouths with teeth, hormones of young boys, child abuse, molestation, floating kids, glowing eyes, red balloons, a bloody bathroom with Ring like hair attack, nasty arm bit, broken arms, some gashes and lots of Pennywise injuries.

Rating:  Normally I hate remakes more than anything but to be honest this film was better then the original. Do I feel the film was over hyped and the younger generation are worshiping this film like it the greatest thing ever when it was ok? Yes! Bill Skarsgard was great yes, he was, and he built the villain Pennywise right up and made the film but to be honest the film screams Stand by Me. I liked the film and it was pretty good as the special effects were not all cheesy but it does not stand with the other classics of the 70s and early 80s that so many people rant it about. The movie was just too damn long for what it was trying to tell and could of all been wrapped in one film instead of cashing out. I did enjoy the film… its a remake so it makes it hard.

7/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Day of the Dead: Bloodlines (2018)

Day of the Dead: Bloodlines (2018)

Country: USA

Director:  Hector Hernandez Vicens

Main Stars:  Sophie Skelton, Jonathan Schaech, Jeff Gum, Lilian Blankenship, Shari Watson, Marcus Vanco, Mark Rhino Smith

Storyline:  After a zombie outbreak a group of military personnel try to experiment and get the outbreak under control.

Review (Spoils): The film starts off as a typical B movie with zombies running around biting people a young hot woman running for her life through the streets as her top is coming loose. I was thinking to myself man this movie is going to be awesome and now I can relax. I was wrong.

Within the credits the film started to take it self serious, yes, I just said that it tried to be a good film. This hurt the film greatly before we knew it we had no idea what happened to characters, what time was in the film and what the hell happened to the running young ladies! Instead we get a zombie outbreak that infects a pervert that wanted to rape someone, and she keeps him alive to find out a cure because she knows the zombie will do what she wants like a pet. There is the whole damn movie I just saved to you 1.5 hours.

We have zombies, breasts running in the streets, nasty bites, running zombies and the one thing that drove me nuts a clear rip off the original all having a zombie chained to the way as a pet. Fuck you!!

Rating:  This film could have been great if they would have kept or kept adding the young girls the zombies to eat. But no, it had to try to be serious when it was just bad, so there is number one issue. Number two issue zombie military films are hard to do and make great unless you are Fulci or Romero. Number three issue zombie should never run stop that! Number four do not fuck with a classic!

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Ghoulies (1984)

Ghoulies (1984)

Country: USA

Director:  Luca Bercovici

Main Stars: Peter Liapis, Lisa Pelikan, Tamara De Treaux, Mariska Hargitay, Peter Risch, Charene Cathleen

Storyline:  A young man finds a book of the occult when taking over an old house.

Review (Spoils): This film screams 80s so get ready. We have a young couple that decide to take over an old house and the basement calls to him when he comes across an old book of the occult. He quits school and decides one night when they have a party to start a calling. (instead of playing strip poker sigh..) Before you know it, his girlfriends start to suspect so call, he calls on the darkness to control her and all this little rubber demons come out to help him.

The film has hot 80s ladies, cheap lightning and fog, beers and drugs, some fancy cult robes, rubber demons, a nasty tongue and some minor blood. The film was entertaining for what it was but really the ending kind of came and went.

Rating:  I dislike maybe even hate films where everything just magically goes back to normal. For example, April Fools Day (drives me nuts) what was the point of the film then? But we do see Mariska Hargitay when she was young and before she was a star and man, she is cute! Also, Charene Cathleen was not bad either but the movie itself was pretty silly.

3/10 Beers!

 

 

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