Phantasm 4 (1998)
Director: Don Coscarelli
Main Stars: A. Michael Badlwin, Reggie Bannister, Bill Thornbury, Heidi Marnhout, Angus Scrimm, Bob Ivy
Storyline: Starting right off from the last film Mike is traveling dimension to find the origin of the Tall Man while Reggie continues to battle the spheres, the undead, and the small people and stop the Tall Man.
Review (Spoils): The Tall Man (Angus Scrimm) is chasing Mike (A. Michael Badlwin) as he is trying to get away. Reggie (Reggie Bannister) is roaming the desert until he meets a hottie (Heidi Marnhout) to help him track down Mike. We have haunting and visions from Jody’s ghost so the whole gang is back. Much like the past films, we have eerie scenery, flashbacks, explosions, small creatures, spinning spheres with blades and spikes, guns, the Tall Man and dimension doors. (What is a Phantasm film without them)? The film starts to unfold what is behind the Tall Man without fully ruining the whole haunting and mystery. Yes they try to explain why he is not dead yet.
The one thing that is lacking in the series is the true reason why the Tall Man is after Jody and now Mike. Is it because they know too much from the first film or is there something that Don Coscarelli has not told us yet and more to come? We have Angus Scrimm returning as the Tall Man and yes, he does try to do the same impression of “Boy” that we have heard in past films. Reggie is Reggie and we will leave it at that.
Rating: “The secret of the spheres are released, the final game has began”. Some old same old with this one and to be honest it is the weaker of the whole series. I think it could because they do not know exactly where they were going with the series and needed something to get the fans off their own backs. Still the series is a cult classic when it comes to horror so check it out.
One Missed Call (2008)
Director: Eric Valette
Main Stars: Edward Burns, Shannyn Sossamon, Ana Claudia Talancon, Ray Wise, Azura Skye
Storyline: Voicemails start to show up from people’s future selves, which details their own deaths.
Review (Spoils): Remake time again, man horror has to be the worse for this. A young woman gets a voicemail detailing the date and time she will die and it does happen. A friend of hers starts to investigate the accident with the girl’s boyfriend. We learn that he got a call also and then meets his death. The detective for the investigations sister was the first victim and they try to tie the killer to her and a name of woman Marie Layton. What is with Marie Layton that is causing this on going voicemail curse?
Bring out the jump scares of clichés. We have lots of phone calls, flip phones, bad acting, poor storyline, creepy music and oh possessed cell phones. This film is lacking in much as it does not make much sense. The jump scenes are too common and you can sense them by the music so the scares are lacking and the whole ghost through the phone is just lame. We have some ghouls, ghosts and some similarities to the Final Destination series.
Rating: Go to the original film please, stay away from this one unless you want to see Shannyn Sossamon on the screen only. This film is full of holes, lack of a solid plot and somehow the device is tied to a long time curse. So stay away from your voice mailbox and you will live. Unless you are a cat then you will die for no reason except your owner is a idiot.
Cosmic Monsters (1958)
Director: Gilbert Gunn
Main Stars: Forrest Tucker, Gaby Andre, Martin Benson
Storyline: A visitors comes from outer space to warn the world that their experiments with the magnetic field could mutate insects.
Review (Spoils): Scientists are working on experiments with the magnetic field when a freak storm happens. A strange man with a funny moustache appears and starts to chat with a child and giving her speeches about change and man. He does not give much advice except that he should change his moustache to fit in and that he is from far away. We have a bunch of non-science talk as a bunch of attacks start to happen in the near by park. Once the investigation comes under way, we do learn that there is a ton of giant spiders and cockroaches running around eating people.
Monster movie time again, I know I have a ton of these. This time we have some bad dialogue and acting mixed with some giant insects. This film can actually be damn boring except the ending when the woman is trapped in the spider web and the insects are coming for her. The footage is actually cool for its time.
Rating: Overall, this film is bad. Not in a good way either, its flat and nothing stands out really, except that is it another monster film driven from science and has bugs. By the way, this film also goes by the title The Strange World of Planet X.
Killer Party (1986)
Director: William Fruet
Main Stars: Martin Hewitt, Ralph Seymour, Elaine Wilkes, Sherry Wilis-Burch, Alicia Fleer, Joanna Johnson
Storyline: A group of young girls try to join a sorority and are part of a hazing at a haunted house.
Review (Spoils): A small group of friends (who look in their thirties so bad selection of girls for the part) want to stick together and join a girls sorority. So to make the cut then need to do a large amount of stupid stuff like stealing shirts from the boys group, setup props, raw egg eating, goats eyes and goat heads. While this is going on for a near hour of the film, we have backstory (with lack of information) of a once man named Adam who was killed and haunting and old sorority house.
This movie did not age well. The film is acting silly and boring for the first hour … if you can survive it then the actual last part is actually entertaining. Outside the stupidness of the storyline when the haunting possession kicks in it is actual fun ride for about 15-20min. The special effects of the demon possession is actually fun and well done. It reminded actual of Evil Dead for the last 15min. too bad the film is poor and boring till that point.
Rating: Not the greatest 80s horror film at all. It is stupid when it comes to all the college crap and boy chasing crap. However, if you can get past that the ending is entertaining and the special effects are cool. So we have 80s chicks, tight t-shirt boys and a bee scene which gives us the typical 80s TA.
Filed under Haunting, Occult
The Witch (2015)
Director: Robert Eggers
Main Stars: Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson, Kate Dickie, Harvey Scrimshaw, Sarah Stephens, Daniel Chaudhry
Storyline: 1630 as New England is in a battle against witchcraft and see the outcome of one family
Review (Spoils): The film is placed in New England during the battle against witchcraft in the 1630s. A young couple with their children leave the village so that they can live on their own with their devoted Christian ways. One day when the eldest daughter is taking care of the youngest one, he vanishes when playing peek a boo and then things started to becomes darker for the family. The family start to turn on each other as they try to figure out what is what evil is haunting them and why.
This film has some very interesting and enjoyable scenery such as old buildings, trees and that damn black goat (which you are waiting for something to happen). The acting is actually really good and the storyline has prudential but the sound is not that great. The music and sound effects over take the script (character lines) and along with the hard accent sometimes difficult to keep up. Which is too bad but the film is likable. We have lots of blood, naked witches, a black goat, some nasty head wounds, and some symbolism of coming into adulthood, a coven, a wicked tree and a nice Snow White type seduction.
Rating: This film is not bad but it could have been a lot more enjoyable if they would fix the audio and less on the music. I personally liked the idea and I enjoyed Anya Taylor-Joy as the main character as she was interesting and played the sides of the character very well. I hope this film is not ruined with a sequel, as it was nice to have the open ending.
Director: Anthony C. Ferrante
Main Stars: Ian Ziering, Tara Reid, John Heard, Cassandra Scerbo, Julie McCullogh
Storyline: Freak hurricane hits LA with some trapped sharks within the cyclone.
Review (Spoils): What happens when your film careers have hot rock bottom? You sign on with a film like this and it turns into a cult following. We have a strange hurricane that hits LA which for some unknown reason creates cyclones (wouldn’t that be a tornado?) which just happens to start in the sea and it traps a large number of sharks within it and drops them into the city randomly. The best part are the sharks do not die on impact, instead they flip and flop and bit through everything. We have a terrible storyline, horrible acting, bad CGI and some off and on blood.
What I did not know was that sharks that can eat through everything, cars, trucks, through glass and even swallow people completely. (Classic chainsaw scene in the end) This movie has it all from munching parts, fake CGI blood and sharks, lost of sharks and a crazy fake tornado (actually 3-4 of them). This movie is just horrid.
Rating: I personally love bad movies but this one might take the cake for bad. If it was not for Cassandra Scerbo all over the screen this could have been a flip it off. This film is damn bad and the CGI just makes it worse. I can see why this has a cult following and multiple sequels (which of course I will get too and watch) as it is just that bad and cheesy. The final scenes takes the bloody cake and dear god what happened to Tara Reid that alone is scarier than the sharks.
Most Likely to Die (2015)
Director: Anthony DiBlasi
Main Stars: Chad Addison, Jake Busey, Tess Christiansen, Perez Hilton, Marci Miller, Tatum Miranda, Heather Morris
Storyline: Class reunion in the forest turns deadly.
Review (Spoils): A group of former classmates get together for a pre-party for the actual reunion and people start to disappear. One by one, each one starts to be slaughtered by someone dressed in a gown, razor hat and a mask. Each one is slaughtered to match the wording under their graduation photo in the yearbook.
This is perfect plot, people for a nice senseless slaughter movie. This film brought me back to what I like about cheesy slaughter fests. We have hot babes, people acting stupid when frightened, conflict, lots of dark blood, some gore and a unique villain that I actually enjoyed. Perez Hilton was actually entertaining in this film and Tess Christiansen is smoking hot. Sure, the plot had some serious unanswered questions and holes but this type of film is not meant to be serious. We have dark blood, flying razor hats, a nasty hockey stick gag, a beheading that was graphic (I was surprised and delighted), lots of throats slash and some gunshots. Enough here to keep the gore fan happy.
Rating: Very surprised by this film I was really expecting a piece of crap. When the movie started I was like dear god this is going to be painful but we killed the dumb horny chick at the beginning and we moved on to more characters. Sure, there was skin but no nudity but I actually cheered for the villain in this one. I actually hope he makes a come back!