Vampyros Lesbos (1971)
Director: Jesus Franco
Main Stars: Soledad Miranda, Dennis Price, Paul Muller, Ewa Stromberg
Storyline: A tale a young woman and her interest in the countess of seduction.
Review (Spoils): Linda (Ewa Stromberg ) has erotic dreams with about a strange woman so her doctor suggests her to start to explore this. She gets an estate run by Countess Nadine Oskudar (Soledad Miranda) which just so happens to be owned at one time by Count Dracula. The countess then attacks Linda and since that moment she starts to be treated for being insane. So the ex boyfriend of Linda and some vampire experts head out to put an end to the Countess.
This film is basically some weird dreams, some sexual lesbian erotic stuff and limited neck biting of red goop on blood. Nothing over the top gory or nothing shocking except maybe the display of art in the film. The plot line is pretty basic and nothing is really over the top entertaining. We have the beautiful Soledad Miranda parading around in stocking and dancing and biting necks.
Rating: This movie actually can be pretty boring and I even have the uncut version. I’m not sure why but I was expecting a lot more out of this film. I’m giving this a low rating as it is not recommending for everyone but it will get basic stars because we have Soledad Miranda roaming around in sexy stocking through the film and that is worth something.
Fear of the Living Dead (2009)
Director: Randy Smith
Main Stars: April Campbell, Mike Tarp, Beth Baker
Storyline: Basic zombie short of a man and woman trying to survive a zombie outbreak
Review (Spoils): I came across this film and received a copy as I was at one time going to be a walking zombie in the film as I worked with someone who knew the crew. Time and the planning of kids did not pane out but my friend did make it so I did get a screening of the film. This is Canadian short film on a couple who are trying to survive a zombie outbreak. The film is on limited budget so the acting is limited and so is the plot. The make-up of the zombies themselves are not bad to be honest for a short film and we have decent gore in this short.
We have headshots, slow movie zombies, swarms of zombies, groans and some nasty biting (my favorite is the finger scene as that zombie is my buddy).
Rating: Why place this film on the site? Well for one it’s a horror short and shot locally in Ottawa and two we need to support small time films as someone needs to start somewhere. Hell even Evil Dead was a short at one point. (which I do have a copy of Evil Dead 0).
Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)
Director: Henry Joost, Ariel Schulman
Main Stars: Lauren Bittner, Chloe Csengery, Jessica Tyler Brown, Christopher Nicholas Smith, Katie Featherston
Storyline: The childhood of Katie is retold through video tapes
Review (Spoils): The film starts with Katie (Katie Featherston) and her sister and her husband going through some old junk and coming across Katie’s birthday video tape. From there we learn of her childhood through the same video camera and tape style as the other films where there is a paranormal entity that is grabbing, shaking and stunning people that come across its path. We have more of 80s feel in the background of this but at the same time it really is just the same stuff.
It’s the same song and dance as the last bunch except Katie is young and it is more around her parents. We have the hot Lauren Bittner this time playing the mother and how she is being horrified by the evil ghost and how it is conquering her young daughter Katie (Chloe Csengery). Some same jumpy parts, same camera and to be honest the same damn story except we learn about more about the past of where the evil may of came from. The only difference is we had Lauren Bittner smoking a joint and looking sexy in a bedroom scene.
Rating: I’m going to be honest I really do not get the hype of this series. Even the first one was not that great…. who are these people that think these films are scary? You have no idea what a scary fucked up film really is. This series is not it. The film is not bad but it’s not great either and can be boring if you have seen the others because you have a fair idea how it’s going to go.
Hellraiser 8: Hellworld (2005)
Director: Rick Bota
Main Stars: Lance Henriksen, Katheryn Winnick, Christopher Jacot, Doug Bradley
Storyline: A video game based on Hellraiser is dragging players to a rave which leads to the underground cult of Cenobites.
Review (Spoils): A bunch of young people grieve the death of their friend who committed suicide. Jake (a former friend of the group) narrows down that they were not there for their friend in his time of need before his death as they were all obsessed with a game known as Hellworld. Secret invitations and chats go out to the young people to come to a Hellworld house party/rave which then leads to be a trap into the hellish world of Hellraiser.
Sigh I hate it when writers decide it’s a great idea to place the franchise into the franchise, it’s not it always fails… see the series for Scream and Halloween for examples. It’s right up there with placing classic horror villains into space! Sure we have Lance Henriksen who is a horror legend but he cannot save this mind mess of an entry to the series. I personally loved the mind game idea in the series a few films ago but now it is just becoming silly and straying too far from the cube and Pinhead (Doug Bradley) himself. This film is more like a teen slasher than an actual Hellraiser film. Not even deaths and not enough classic feel in this one and it just might be the worse of the bunch.
Rating: This series has really driven off the rails and it does need to come back as I personally do normally enjoy them. Poor Doug Bradley and Lance Henriksen for this mess in the series, sorry guys. Not enough deaths, hooks, gore and cube for my liking …they need to focus on the Cenobites more and get back to the basics. I guess this film as Katheryn Winnick going for it?
The Ring 2 (2005)
Director: Hideo Nakata
Main Stars: Naomi Watts, David Dorfman, Sissy Spacek, Elizabeth Perkins, Gary Cole, Simon Baker
Storyline: 6 months after the first film Samara Morgan has returned and so has the video
Review (Spoils): Some high school couple dare each other to watch the film, the girl covers her eyes and Samara returns to kill the young man. Rachel Keller (Naomi Watts ) learns of the twisted death and she starts again on the hunt to stop the video and the terror of the ghost of Samara and to protect her son.
Again with the sequels but we all knew this one was going to happen as the Ringu series if large. We have the return of Rachel and once again her acting is well done for this film but it could not save the film from the lack of sense. This film is not even close to the first one and even the CGI effects in it could not bring it to justice. We have the return of the VHS tape, some deer in the forest that randomly attack a car, the ghost of Samara wanting her mommy (really?) and a whole lot of the same shit as the first film.
The storyline in this one is very weak…..
Rating: The first film (yes it was a remake) was actually not bad and I was looking forward to this one to follow suite but instead it became and dread of boredom and lack of story. The well, the TV and the nonsense of this film killed what could have been a great series.
The Rage (2007)
Director: Robert Kurtzman
Main Stars: Andrew Divoff, Erin Brown, Ryan Hooks, Angela Gasparec
Storyline: A crazed scientist works a virus on innocent people turning them into mad zombies.
Review (Spoils): Doctor Viktor Vasilienko (Andrew Divoff ) escapes a nuthouse and heads to the woods. He wants to spread a virus known as the Rage to everyone until they recognize him for his cure for cancer. When the Rage kicks in the victim becomes a blood thirsty madman much like a zombie. When the virus spreads in the woods even infecting birds a young group that were traveling in a RV run into the madness all the blood and goofiness kicks in.
We have lots of blood, cheesie gore, zombie vultures, and a crazed mutant dwarf that looks like a little girl, lots of deaths, giant leeches and zombie fun! Too bad the can be painful and the CGI destroys this film but the weirdness and the gore brings this film up. Plus did I saw that we nudity and a nice sex death scene….. I didn’t? Well there is that also.
Rating: This film is a low budget gore fest that is not sure what it really wants to be but instead decides lets be it all. We have a ton of blood and gore and freakiness , add in some hotties and monsters and off we go.
Flesh Eating Mothers (1988)
Director: James Aviles Martin
Main Stars: Robert Lee Oliver, Donatella Hecht, Neal Rosen, Valorie Hubbard, Carolyn Gratsch
Storyline: A disease spreads that turns cheating house wives into cannibals.
Review (Spoils): Ok a sexual transmitted disease spreads through the small town in which women who had children only get affected. We learn that these house wives and moms turn into cannibals and an urge for flesh. After some deaths, children fleeing and some medical tests the truth comes out that it was spread by having sex.
The classic gives us some of the worse acting you have ever heard, blood, gore, arms being chewed, penises are being eaten and even babies! This film screams low dollar and 80s which makes it a great horrible film. Do not expect any grade A in this and you shouldn’t with this title anyways.
Rating: Ever watch a film that is so bad that it’s funny? If the answer is No skip this title if the answer is Yes maybe check this out….. Its moms that eat people! Oh and you will need a few drinks to get through it!