Tag Archives: 5 Beers

A Page of Madness (1926)

A Page of Madness (1926)

Country: Japan

Director:  Teinosuke Kinugasa

Main Stars:  Masuo Inoue, Ayako Iljima, Yoshie Nakagawa

Storyline:  A man works at an asylum hoping he can free his wife from there.

 

Review (Spoils): a man takes a janitor job at the asylum in hopes of working his way towards his wife’s freedom from there as she was placed there after her attempt of suicide. The twisted film of dance and music and strange images of distorted faces drives the audiences into the mad mind of the wife.

This film has no blood, no true scares and from what I know music was added the film at a later date on the original. This silent film has no narrative written at all, so you really need to watch the facial expressions and action to understand what is happening (I prefer this actually). The film plays mostly on the husband working his way to the cell of his wife as we are offered flashbacks of her past and what happened along with a number of other characters that are trapped in the mental hospital. The visuals of the film are strange flashbacks which you really need to keep track and of the camera shots look like they were done through a jar. The music of the film was a great added touch as I personally feel that without the score going on in the background this film could have been a mix of confusion.

Rating:  The things to remember of this film is that there is not a lot of movies from Japan of the era that survived the war and destruction, so it is nice to have what we do in horror. The movie is not bad even though the entrancing dancing could have been overdone and distracting. But the added music to bring in the strangeness and madness of the film is nice added touch and some of the camera work like the visuals of the masks and faces was extremely well done and art in its own. This is film is not going to be for everyone who enjoys horror but if you do enjoy the silent era and films with more of artist feel this is a lost gem.

5/10 Beers!

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The Crucifixion (2017)

The Crucifixion (2017)

Country: UK

Director:  Xavier Gens

Main Stars:  Sophie Cookson, Corneliu Ulici, Ada Lupu, Brittany Ashworth, Ozana Oancea

Storyline:  A young writer investigates a story around a nun that died at the hands of exorcism

 

Review (Spoils): Young Nicole (Sophie Cookson) goes on a writing adventure as she tries to grab and investigate the story behind a priest and number of nuns being convicted of murder of a thought of one of their own being possessed. This leads to a chase to Rome where she starts to interview everyone involved so that she can get the story.  As she starts to look into Father Anton (Corneliu Ulici), she learns more about the events and the possibility of the demon being real and still out there.

The film scenery is good, and the storyline actual is not flawed. The characters within the church are built up well and the acting is not as bad as I thought but there are some issues with the main character the journalist. The acting was meh and she just was not believable for the part of the one looking into everything. Yes, she is cute but she kind of ruined the film as the story had so much potential around the madness of Maricica Irina Cornici. I believe this is the same back story as The Exorcism of Emily Rose (which I loved).

The film does not really give us anything new except the spider scenes which are actually pretty interesting. We have blood, black eyes, eye rolls, floating bodies and of course a falling out the window body. Everything else around the film is focused on storyline which can be long winded and the typical scares that are not that scary.

Rating:  Two problems which this film is the acting of Sophie Cookson and nothing really new out of the typical exorcist type film. The storyline like I have repeated few times is not bad and it is worth a view if you can get past Sophie Cookson. But do not expect anything new and refreshing outside of the spider scenes.

5/10 Beers!

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Jigsaw (Saw VIII) (2017)

Jigsaw (Saw VIII) (2017)

Country: USA

Director:  Michael Spierig, Peter Spierig

Main Stars: Matt Passmore, Tobin Bell, Callum Keith Rennie, Hannah Emily Anderson, Laura Vandervoort, Cle Bennett

Storyline:  Several bodies are found could the Jigsaw killer be back from the dead?

Review (Spoils): Bodies start to turn up around the city and killed in unique ways this opens the police investigation to see if the Jigsaw killer is back from the dead.  After looking into who is doing the killing and how is it possible the police and detectives start to track it down that Jigsaw is back or there is a copy killer out there.

So back to the Saw series and yes, I have not reviewed them all in order yet. This one is a little slower on the pace and at first, I was not sure about it. The film jumps right into who are the players and the game of death. Which is fine as this has been done pretty much with all the movies of the series. We have some detectives that are trying to track down who is the Jigsaw killer or is he back from the dead. As this is going on we learn about Logan (Matt Passmore) who works as mortician and his redheaded partner Eleanor (Hannah Emily Anderson).   The story bounces back and forth from a group that are being tested and killer one by one by the fancy traps set by the killer and the police investigation. But unlike the others of the series this one does struggle with a few items.

First off the traps and puzzles in this one just seemed dumb and lazy overall. There was nothing that really screamed cool. We have lots of needles, chains around necks, buckets over the head, a strange motorcycle setup, some buzz saws, acid in the head, shotgun to the face, nasty leg cut, a slicer and a stupid laser cutter scene. Way too many needles in this one that I could not even count them all. Yes, there is blood and gore, but the Jigsaw traps just seemed dull. Secondly what in the dear god happened to Hannah Emily Anderson! Her acting in this was horrible or maybe it was just the character not being believable. Thank god she is easy on the eyes as she drove me nuts with her fake dialogue. What a car wreck!

What kind of worked was Anna (Laura Vandervoort) who is very hot but can entertain. Her character was great and the storyline behind her is great. She and the great Tobin Bell as Jigsaw was worth the watch.

Rating:  The series is running out of steam and should just close soon. The kills are lame, and the storyline seems to be in a loop. Really how many times can they use the same hook. The one scene with the falling weapons in the grain silo was enough to make me scream at the screen on how stupid these puzzles can be but then it hit a even lower low with the final death scene with the laser cutter and the cheesy CGI. Really too bad as it had some babies and it use to be a daring and unique series.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Wish Upon (2017)

Wish Upon (2017)

Country: USA

Director:  John R. Leonetti

Main Stars:  Joey King, Ryan Phillippe, Ki Hong Lee, Mitchell Slaggert, Shannon Purser, Sydney Park, Elisabeth Rohm, Joesphine Langford, Alexander Nunez, Daniela Barbosa

Storyline:  A teenage girl was given a box from her father and it unlocks, and grants wishes.

Review (Spoils): Young Clare (Joey King) is a misfit and does not fit with in the in crowd. When her embarrassing father delivers a special box and she figures how to unlock its secrets it grants 7 wishes. Of course, as a young teenager she is selfish in her wishes and because of that it comes with a horrible price.

This film plays off the characters of misfits and a small group of individuals that do not fit in with the in crows at school. When the main character Clare abuses the power of the box and starts to use the wishes there are deadly consequences.  Picture the deaths along the lines of the Final Destination series, which the mix of Wishmaster for the grant wish part (minus the djinn) and Hellraiser as the box has a puzzle box feel to it. There you go you have the Wish Upon movie!

The film gives some nasty kills that is for sure like stabs through the eye, a nasty garage disposal death, elevators that crash, car hits, some nasty fungus of death and other weird deaths and pains of the world. Basically, the film is the main character trying to fit and drops all her friends and other with the wishes of her selfish need. The film screams teen drama.

Rating:  The idea was okay but stolen from past big names series and the death scream influence from the Final Destination films. Did it hurt the film? A little to be honest as it seemed like a bit of a copy cat. We could have used a little more of Joesphine Langford but I was interested to see how this film was going to end and was not upset with the ending to be honest. Joey King did do a great job as the main character but when it came to the wishes it did seem out of character when it came to be waiting to be popular. Its worth a watch as there is a Hell of lot worse out there in horror.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Blair Witch (2016)

Blair Witch (2016)

Country:  USA

Director:  Adam Wingard

Main Stars:  James Allen McCune, Callie Hernandez, Corbin Reid, Valorie Curry, Wes Robinson, Brandon Scott

Storyline:  Again, a videotape has been found with and some young people are missing that were wandering in the deep forest that is haunted.

Review (Spoils): In the Black Hills Forest tales of a haunting has been legendary. James (James Allen McCune) wants to finally put to rest his sister Heathers disappearance on the woods. A team of young people being led by James kind of head into the woods during the day to find out if the stories are true about what exists in the woods. As they travel deeper and get lost in the maze and night starts to fall, they all start to lose their sanity.

Once again, a tape has been found which bring a young back on a hunt for his missing sister from 20 years ago. The storyline of this one has not changed much from the original, but it is okay to burn 1.5 hours. Sure, the young people are super annoying and do stupid things and think they are all super cool and tough but really the scares are the same as before.

We have a dark forest, shaky camera action that you have no idea what the fuck is going on, people staring in the corner of the room (but this is explained so that was nice), lots of yelling, cool witch tokens hanging on trees, mud and some flashing lights. Nothing out of the ordinary with this film at all.

Rating: Not sure why this film was made and the reasoning it needed to be told but it was nice connection to the first one, but it did not stray from it at all.  The characters were super annoying except for Callie Hernandez as she is hot. The scares were limited and looking back maybe this could be watched again as a drinking game when someone name is called. Or if there is a group of you each choose a name and drink too it.

5/ 10 Beers!

Yacker

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Night Monster (1942)

Night Monster (1942)

Country:  USA

Director:  Ford Beebe

Main Stars:  Bela Lugosi, Lionel Atwill, Leif Erickson, Ralph Morgan, Irene Hervey

Storyline:  A rich recluse invites doctors to come to his mansion located in the swamp to meet their deaths.

Review (Spoils): Crippled Kurt Ingston (Ralph Morgan) lives in the swamp with his daughter Margaret. Her sanity is being checked as she is acting strange but seems healthy. All the doctors that have been assigned to her and her father are invited to the lonely mansion located in the swamps. During the visit one of the doctors end up murdered and they must track down the killer before more die.

I personally started off this film picturing this to be a monster film staring Bela Lugosi, wow was I wrong. He is barely in the film and plays a secondary part in the film as a spooky butler. Instead the film becomes a murder mystery surrounding around the mysterious Ingston family and the medical professionals that were involved with them. The film is dark and has lots of fog as that is what you get when you live in the swamp. The sound effects in the film also play a nice game as when the murders happen the sound goes blank.

Rating:  The film is actually not bad for something that I thought would have a monster movie. But yet again it is a more of murder mystery than a horror film even though the energy of the film is very dark. The plot and aspect of the film did not make sense what’s so ever but the characters were well acted and written so it can be forgiven.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Monster (1925)

The Monster (1925)

Country:  USA

Director:  Roland West

Main Stars:  Lon Chaney, Gertrude Olmstead, Hallam Cooley

Storyline:  A troubled clerk doubles as a detective is investigating strange going ons at the local mental sanitarium.

Review (Spoils): A madman named Dr. Ziska (Lon Chaney) gets rid of the staff at mental sanitarium and uses the patients as his new staff. The lunatics start to work at the place as Ziska collects bodies to experiment on. As the new detective walks around with the book of “How to be a Detective?” as he is trying to find missing people. As Ziska is abducting people for his experiments the detective gets on the case.

The story line borders on comedy and fun more than the actual horror. The scenery is amazing in this film and make up of Lon Chaney’s character is outstanding. The film itself can be pretty slow moving as the actors are limited as there only a few in the film to hold interest. Part of me thinks that the talent and make up of Chaney was wasted a bit in this film as it was the Wow factor of the film.

Rating:  Going to be honest this is one slow moving film with some small laughs, but the Chaney steals the film. The next interesting character is his henchman that helps him with the dropping mirror from the tree to cause cars to run off the road, so they can capture them. The film is fun silent with some scary make up but do not expect to be thrilled or scared.

Yacker

5/10 Beers!

 

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Stephanie (2017)

Stephanie (2017)

Country:  USA

Director:  Akiva Goldsman

Main Stars:  Shree Crooks, Frank Grillo, Anna Torvo

Storyline:  A young girl is alone after a mysterious global crisis battling against an unknown evil entity.

Review (Spoils): Stephanie is home all alone except with her stuffed turtle named Franklin and her dead brother. The questions are where is everyone, what has happened and what are the strange shadow things that haunt her that she is hiding from?

Stephanie is a strange little film that has you asking the above questions over and over until about a little over half way through as the story line starts to show its light. The problem is I personally like the story line I had in head better (as you are guessing) more than the actual story itself.  Shree Crooks steals the show of the film that is for sure and the father would be a close second, Frank Grillo. Not sure if it was the lack of character build or just Anna Torvo but it was not believable.  Do not expect blood and gore at all as the film relies on the secret of what is really happening and the shadow creature so to speak.

Rating:  Honestly this film leans on Sci-Fi way more than horror. Sure, it has some unknown evil entity to it, but it was unbelievable that it became space like. This film could of went a few ways in the story line revel but unfortunate for me it was not a path I would of took as the final story. But like said before it was worth watching once and Shree Crooks played the character very well even outside of the crappy CGI.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Anitbirth (2016)

Anitbirth (2016)

Country:  USA

Director:  Danny Perez

Main Stars:  Natasha Lyonne, Chloe Sevigny, Meg Tilly, Mark Webber, Maxwell McCabe-Lokos

Storyline:  A struggling drug addicted wakes up from a night of party with a strange illness.

Review (Spoils): Lou (Natasha Lyonne) is a struggling drug addict and hangs around mostly with street walkers and drug addicts.  After a wild of night of partying and not remembering she and her friends Sadie (Chloe Sevigny) try to find out why she has been feeling so strange. Is she pregnant or is there something more wrong happening? After possibly being pregnant, struggling with body changes, mind trips and of course indulging in drugs and booze Lou life starts to spin. Also, to add to the mix the wandering Lorna (Meg Tilly) who seems to know too much comes to her door and the truth starts to unfold.

This film is a bit of trip itself. Not sure if it was the drugs, the use of red and purple lighting, the rubber baby monster or the fuzzy fun zone apes but man this film was all over the place. The storyline jumps right in but it was slow run to get to the point. Some of the graphic were nice and gross like the belly, the classic foot scene and the picking of skin but there were long gapes of just conversation in between that it seemed longer than it should have been. Natasha Lyonne and Chloe Sevigny did a great job playing out their characters but I hard time getting into Meg Tilly’s. It just lacked info or backstory. There could have been more scares and gore , hell even more fuzzy apes would be fun!

Rating:  Overall the film was okay and entertaining. Chloe Sevigny is a joy to watch and Natasha Lyonne always plays a good junkie (Orange is the New Black). The ending felt a bit rushed as there was much going on in the final 20min and it was a bit cheesy, but overall the film was not bad. I was expecting a lot worse but they could of cut down on the dialogue and gave us more trippy apes.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Forest (2016)

The Forest (2016)

Country:  USA

Director:  Jason Zada

Main Stars:  Natalie Dormer, Eoin Macken, Stephanie Vogt

Storyline:  A woman goes to Japan to find her lost twin sister and enters a forest that is known as Suicide Forest.

Review (Spoils): Sara and Jess Price has a tough childhood after their parent’s death. Jess witnessed it and Sara turned away. One of the twins became dark as the other became lighter. When Jess disappears her sister, Sara decides to travel to Japan to find her and tracks lead to the Suicide Forest.

The forest is kind of lacking its has some backstory and flashbacks and the basic don’t stay in the woods after the night or you will see things and die. Or also the lame don’t walk off the path hint. The movie itself was not horrible and Natalie Dormer is entertaining but there were not enough scares (or any) and the fall in a hole and flips back and forth was kind of known what was really happening. This film was predictable and dragged on to long to get to the actual whole point of the film.

We have green forests, dark forest, a hole (surprise) some back and forth on what is real and what is not. Of course haunting children, some blood and a nasty hand wound, stabbing and drama that really I could not care about. Why would a twin sister who could not give a shit about her sister all of sudden give a shit because she may dead..??? Sounds pretty lame to me.

Rating:  When two strangers become best friends over night and exposes their darkest secrets within 4 hours I call bullshit. And this is what exactly this film did and they lost me after that. (which was half through the film). The forest had some great scenery but the frights were not there. But if you like looking at Natalie Dormer you will be ok for the 1.5 hours.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

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