Tag Archives: Bob Clark

Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things (1973)

Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things (1973)

Country:  USA

Director:  Bob Clark

Main Stars:  Alan Ormsby, Valerie Mamches, Jeff Gillen, Anya Ormsby, Jane Daly, Paul Cronin

Storyline:  Actors are lead to a graveyard on a remote island to perform a necromantic ritual for a movie but what they do is awake the dead.

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Review (Spoils):  Alan (Alan Ormsby) is an annoying director who thinks he is all that and talks down on all his actors and actresses.  He threatens them that this is going to the career break that they have always wanted and that they will be nobodies if they do not play along with his sick plan. His plan..? Well it involves them breaking into an old cabin near a graveyard and do a ritual in a stupid wizard robe and awake the dead.  They did up a body known to them as Orville and Alan thinks its fun playing with the body and making fun of it (such as a wedding and making jests about it).  Through the annoying sillness the dead from the graveyard do awaken and they burst into the cabin and start eating and killing everyone.

Alan Ormsby is annoying and you just want to punch him the face from the get go. Plus the pants and shirt are just too much to handle. He ruined the actual film. The three stars of this film are the leading ladies Val (Valerie Mamches) with her funny and snarky jests to Alan, the starry eyed Anya (Anya Ormsby) with her flakey hippy attitude and last but not least Terry (Jane Daly) who plays the leading female star of their film.  For the gore and scariness do not expect much as it is a low budget film and it can be lacking in the red stuff but the chezziness works.

Rating:  Not the greatest zombie film by far and to be honest the main actor Alan Ormsby ruins the whole damn thing. True horror fans should watch this at least once just to see how awful this guy really is as the rest of the cast was not bad for a B movie. This should be called “Alan Ormsby Shouldn’t do Movies”.

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4/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Black Christmas (1974)

Black Christmas (1974)

Country:  Canada

Director:  Bob Clark

Main Stars: Oliva Hussey, Keir Dullea, Margot Kidder, Andrea Martin, John Saxon

Storyline:  A sorority house of women is being stalked by a man who makes frightening calls and then slowly one by one murders them over the Christmas break.

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Review (Spoils): When a stranger calls and freaks people out this is the film that I think top it’s off.  We have a house full of women who are leaving for the Christmas holidays except for few left behind we have geeky Phyl (Andrea Martin), the drunk party girl Barb (Margot Kidder)and the beautiful and lovely Jess (Oliva Hussey). The film has lots of obscene phone calls to the house (the strange boy sound is great and eerie), the classic bag over the head, axe swings and the terrifying attic. Oliva Hussey steals the film when it came to acting in this film as she plays the innocent Jess who is secretly pregnant and her boyfriend Peter (Keir Dullea )does not like the idea of giving it up. Margot Kidder also did an amazing job playing up her character that might have resembled her real self at one time. The killer is film is just awesome and you can feel the crazy in his actions and the scene with the door and the eye is just classic.

Rating:  This to me is the best Christmas horror film of all time and outside of that it is a great slasher film. Too bad it did not get the credit it deserves. Oliva Hussey is an amazing actress and it was too bad she did not continue to become a more important scream queen in the horror industry. Skip the remake and drink to this one!

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7/10 Beers!

Yacker

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