Piranha 3DD (2012)
Director: John Gulager
Main Stars: Danielle Panabaker, Ving Rhames, David Hasselhoff, Katrina Bowden, Meagan Tandy, Jean-Luc Bilodeau, David Koechner , Christopher Lloyd,
Storyline: After sometime a new water park opens and the piranhas are back.
Review (Spoils): The series continues where it left off which flashbacks, the basic storyline is a dirty uncle (David Koechner )wants to make money so he opens an adult water theme park even though his niece (Danielle Panabaker) who is half owner id against it. During this time some rednecks disturb the eggs of some piranhas when moving the body of a dead floating cow. The nasty species makes its way to the park where the T&A becomes a bloodbath.
We have the very cute Danielle Panabaker trapped in this silly continuation of the series. We have lots of blood in the water, exploding cows, lots of T&A, some lame storyline of nerd boy loves the girl but she likes the dirty cop story, a penis scene that was dumb and of course the Hoff. There is lots of floating hands (not sure why piranhas don’t eat these…must have been a box deal on floating hands), some chuckles and some stupidity such as the machine gun in the leg. The highlight of the film is the T&A, Danielle Panabaker and David Hasselhoff. The piranhas were so fake it was impossible to even take it a bit serious, more fake then the bimbos in the film.
Rating: This film failed but at the same time was still watchable. The last one was not horrible but this one should be the nail to the coffin of the series. There is cheesy fun but this kind of was leaning too much on the dumb side, much like a Troma film but unfortunate not one.
Friday the 13th (2009)
Director: Marcus Nispel
Main Stars: Jared Padalecki, Amanda Righetti, Derek Mears, Danielle Panabaker, Aaron Yoo, Julianna Guill, Willa Ford, America Olivo
Storyline: A group of teens discover an old camp called Camp Crystal Lake which inhabited by a madman named Jason Voorhees.
Review (Spoils): A small group of young people disappear in the woods near the long abandoned Camp Crystal Lake. Another group of young people spend a weekend at a cabin nearby for sex, booze, drugs and death. A lone wolf man named Clay (Jared Padalecki) is traveling on his own looking for his lost sister Whitney (Amanda Righetti) as she was one of the missing kids. The whole thing collides when they come across a madman named Jason Voorhees (Derek Mears) who wanders the woods killing everything that comes in his way.
First off I’m very loyal to the Friday the 13th series and was totally upset over the talk of a remake and this is the reason why. The characters are pale, blank and who cares if they die…really? The whole point of the film is totally lost as the whole storyline of Jason’s mother is the reason for the series to begin with so to cut it short on that plot the movie has nothing to go on that is not in every other slasher film. Some of the kills are lame, for example the machete in the head under the dock was totally dumb. Why is everyone a redneck if they are in killer country? Why the hell would Jason kidnap a girl when he just kills everyone else and why does he have an underground setup? Why is Clay such a douche? Why does Danielle Panabaker even care for such a douche?
Rating: This film should have never been made. I would take Friday the 13th part 11 in the Arctic or something over this hunk of garbage. This is prime example why I hate remakes. If it was not for my loyalty for Jason and the hot babe Danielle Panabaker this film would have been a long and forgotten. Skip this piece of crap as it just might be the worse of the bunch which is pretty bad as space and Manhattan were no picnic on Crystal Lake.
Girls Against Boys (2012)
Director: Austin Chick
Main Stars: Nicole LaLiberte, Danielle Panabaker, Matthew Rauch, Reyna de Courcy
Storyline: After a young girl gets raped and abused she meets a friend named Lulu which helps for cope and plant the seeds of revenge.
Review (Spoils): Shae (Danielle Panabaker) is a young girl who finds out the date she has been dating is married, and then she meets a young man at a bar and gets raped. Things with men are not going well with Shae and she and her new friend Lulu (Nicole LaLiberte) are planting revenge to payback men.
This film has lots of character build and I get the reason behind it. There is more to the film then what the plot above lies and I do not want to ruin the film by doing the ultimate spoil. Read into the film do not just watch for what you see. The first scene explains it all if you look in the mirror (I caught it right away). The film does not rely on the graphic like other films like this such as I Spit on Your Grave, but instead it is more detailed on what goes on emotionally and in the mind of the characters.
There is not much for over the top gore, but we do have some feet being cut off, a gun shot up the ass and a few other non memorable kills.
Rating: Yes this type of film has been done before a few times but so has every other slasher film so I took it for it was worth and rated it from that. Nothing shocking but at the same time I seen a hell of a lot worse.