Tag Archives: Gunnar Hansen

Death House (2017)

Death House (2017)

Country:  USA

Director:  B. Harrison Smith

Main Stars:  Bill Mosely, Tony Todd, Nicole Cinaglia, Adrienne Barbeau, Kane Holder, Debbie Rochon, Gunnar Hansen, Dee Wallace, Lindsay Hartley, Barbara Crampton, Camille Keaton, Cortney Palm, Sid Haig, Brinke Stevens, Tiffany Shepis, Felissa Rose, Lauren Compton, Beverly Randolph, Sean Whalen, Cody Longo. Lloyd Kaufman

Storyline:  A secret prison has a power outage and all Hell breaks loose when two agents are trapped.

Review (Spoils): Not sure what everyone was thinking with this film, but it became a simple over the top gore mess. The storyline is not very detailed, and it is actually kind of jumbled. We have two agents Condy Longo and Cortney Palm trapped in a prison where a large collection of doctors (including Dee Wallace’s bad hair) has the prisoners trapped with victims that satisfy their needs. Kane Hodder is one of the main prisons badasses and as the power goes out, he starts to lead a front of prisoners.

The film does delivery the bloody goods with slashing, cutting, gun shots, intestines, some weird living zombies gore scene, cheap gas and Satan fire scene and lots of gore. The film is all over the place but we do also get a few glances of Courtney Palm topless but nothing sexy from Debbie Rochon, Felissa Rose, Lindsay Hartley or Laura Compton. (such a missed chance)

Rating:  This is a knocking dead all star cast of horror! There are more names in this film then I can even name when it comes to paying homage to horror. We have the classic villains like Bill Mosely, Tony Todd, Gunnar Hansen, Kane Holder and Sean Whalen to name a few. Over the top gore hound Lloyd Kaufman. And the horror B Queens themselves like Adrienne Barbeau, Debbie Rochon, Dee Wallace, Barbara Crampton, Camille Keaton, Brinke Stevens, Felissa Rose and Lauren Compton just to name a few! But unfortunately it could not save the film from a written mess, it just tried too hard and the finale was kind of boring and lame to the end Hansen that way.  The only thing that made the ending okay was the homage to Gunnar Hansen which was a nice little added touch which made me sad.

3/10 beers!



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Filed under Cannibal, Slasher, Zombie

Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

Country: USA

Director: John Luessenhop

Main Stars: Alexandra Daddario, Tania Raymonde, Scott Eastwood, Gunnar Hansen

Storyline: After the burning of the original house of the cannibals of 1974 a lone baby grows up to learn her heritage.

MV5BMTQzMzAyNTE2N15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzM1NDg2OA@@._V1_SX214_AL_Review (Spoils): The Sawyer family get caught in 1974 after the survivor escapes. The town and sheriff go and attack and burn the Sawyer house. A lone baby named Heather get rescued from the family during this to grow up and learn that she is living with her true parents after she inherits the house.

I’m a diehard Texas Chainsaw series fan (its right up there after Friday the 13th) and I was excited about this film. Sadly there are two major issues with it that are so major that this should of never got pass the writers table. But first the good…

First I love that Leatherface is done by Gunnar Hansen again…awesome. Love the intro which is an ode to the original film (still the best of the whole series). The gore and blood was well done I was surprised even though to be true Texas Chainsaw film you should rely on it. But I did enjoy the saw body slice and the meat chopper was a nice touch.

Now for the bad…. the very bad. How the fuck this got past the writers table I have no idea. We have the flashback ode the film and the first scene we have suddenly 4-6 new people in the house in the shoot out that were not in the original film. No explanation who they are, why they are there…what the fuck!

Ok even worse than that, is the time warp! This was 1974, the daughter is 18 years old in 2012! Do you think we are stupid and not care about these massive glitches because they have a nice set of tits? We are not fucking stupid. A really cheesy reason to throw a couple of hot chicks in the film instead of having the main character in her 40s-50s like it should have been. Shame on the writer and shame on John Luessenhop for letting that slide to make this almost or just as bad as the cross dressing Leatherface of part 4. You are idiots! You destroyed what might have been a good film with that stupid decision. Epic Fail!

Rating: Well there it is. A great film that went to shit within the first 10min. This could have been a great film as the idea was there and so was Gunnar Hansen but you screwed it with a lack of explanations and a couple set of tits. Let’s hope the series revives itself somehow from the time wrap.

pint pint pint pint

4/10 Beers!


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