Halloween 2 (2009)
Director: Rob Zombie
Main Stars: Scout Taylor-Compton, Tyler Mane, Malcolm McDowell, Sheri Moon Zombie, Brad Dourif, Tyler Mane
Storyline: Laurie Strode tries to deal with the nightmares of her killer brother as Michael returns home again.
Review (Spoils): Once again Michael Myers (Tyler Mane) has returned and he wants to finish off his family and Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) is the target again. Except this time Laurie is a spoil brat (I guess the actions in the last film drove her with an ego) who just can’t get off her high horse and we have the bearded Michael walking around killing everything in his path. Unlike the first remake film from Rob Zombie this one has nothing to do with the original Halloween 2 and this just a mixed bag of shit and dream sequences. We get it she has nightmares of the past film….we do not need to wasted on this after the first time or the second. But it does not stop there did I mention in the psyche of Michaels mind is his childhood, a white horse (yes a horse!) and his mother who is portrayed by Sherri Moon Zombie?
Other than the beautiful Sherri Moon Zombie to look at (yes Rob we know she is good looking and she is in every film you ever did) this film is a total mess and might possible be his worse to date. Between dreamscapes, the wanna be mom from Friday the 13th demanding to kill, all over the place plot gaps and the powerhouse Michael Myers being able to take a hit from anything and keep going, this film is a total loss.
Rating: Skip this film if you actual enjoy the Halloween series. Even for remakes this one missed the mark by a very large throw. You can have as much gore and blood that anyone can take but when you mix it with this much crap then it just isn’t that great. This film was a bloody mess in a bad way.
Director: Rob Zombie
Main Stars: Scout Taylor-Compton, Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, Sherri Moon Zombie, Daeg Faerch, Clint Howard, Bill Mosele, Brad Dourif
Storyline: A retelling of the Michael Myers story but more focussed on his childhood.
Review (Spoils): Sigh…. remake time again with a review. We have the re-telling of the Michael Myer’s (Daeg Faerch ) story from the Halloween series. The young boy is messed up as he has been locked up since he was 10 after killed and start to learn what makes him tick. During this process his escapes and heads back home to Haddonfield where he stalks and tries to kill his younger sister Laurie. Anyone who gets in his way of this is killed in brutal ways.
We have a retelling tale of Mike Myers (Tyler Mane) and Doctor Loomis (Scout Taylor-Compton) but this time done with the script of Rob Zombie. Now we all know that Zombie is a horror fan and he wanted to tell his updated take of this tale. The beginning starts actually very interesting when he gets into the younger details of what is going on in the mind of the young boy. To me this was fresh and it held my attention and I was impressed. Then the story flipped to the remake part and it literality felt like it was word for word of a remake. To me this is just lazy and there was nothing new anymore to this tale. I loved the beginning but then it was just felt boring about mid way through the film. Sure we have a more graphic film then the classic from the 70s but this does not make it a good/or better film because of it.
Rating: I have a hard time wrapping around my head why you would want to do this remake. If you’re a fan of the film series you think you would not want to touch it and leave it as is. I would focus more on learning from the classic and creating something new on your own. But I guess that’s just me and Hollywood loves it cash in remakes. Not a horrible film but it is one of Rob Zombies better films.
Halloween 8: Resurrection (2002)
Director: Rick Rosenthal
Main Stars: Jamie Lee Curtis, Busta Rhymes, Brad Loree, Bianca Kajlich, Daisy McCrackin, Tyra Banks, Katee Sackhoff
Storyline: Michael Myers still wants Laurie Stroud dead and at the same time a group of teens are involved in a reality show in the old Myers house.
Review (Spoils): A group of pointless teens win a contest to spend the night in the old Myers house to film a reality TV show. Cameras are setup all over the place like Big Brother and nobody gives a shit. At the same time Michael Myers is yet back because the beheading didn’t really happen to him and he chases down Laurie Stroud (Jamie Lee Curtis) yet again and it all ends back a the Myers house….yes the one with the stupid show. Oh and we have some more brainless teens that have no life that smoke dope and drink beer while watching the great reality show. This just gives a small idea of how dumb this series has fallen plus it has Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks which does not help it at all. They even had the balls to kill off Jaime Lloyd and didn’t even use Danielle Harris…. shame on you! This film is pretty damn painful and I thought the last one was.
Rating: You know you have run out of ideas when…… this shit happens! Really just kill Laurie already and move on. This is worse than the ongoing Child’s Play movies at the beginning or the Scream series. The whole reality TV piece was garbage and nobody cares about any of these characters. This was almost as bad as the Big Brother show itself…. hell maybe they need a Michael Myers.
Halloween 7: H20 (1998))
Director: Steve Mine
Main Stars: Jamie Lee Curtis, Josh Hartnett, Adam Arkin, Michelle Williams, Jodi Lyn O’Keefe, Janet Leigh, LL Cool J, Josh Hartnett
Storyline: Laurie Stroud is back and she must deal with the past of Michael Myers and her son.
Review (Spoils): Laurie Stroud (Jamie Lee Curtis) is back but under a hidden name, she is the Dean of the university. She wants to protect her son John (Josh Hartnett) from her past so she restricts him form everything. He is a rebellious teen so he and his girlfriend and friends break all the rules and Michael Myers tracks them all down. Hell why not as he wants to kill all his bloodline!
We have teenage shit, lame scares, some boring conflict between mother and son, some appearance from Michael Myers, stabbings, a nasty leg crunch and the classic ending with a beheading. Hollywood ate this series and spit out a load of crappy 90s shit.
Rating: I had excitement when this first came out as Jamie Lee Curtis returns to resurrect the series from the awful cowboy cult but instead we got a load of horror garbage. This film is barely bearable unless you can keep looking at Jodi Lyn O’Keefe…… the horror is boring!
Halloween 6 (1995)
Director: Joe Chappelle
Main Stars: Donald Pleasance, Paul Rudd, Marianne Haga, J.C. Brady
Storyline: Jamie is kidnapped by a bunch of druids dedicated to Michael Myers.
Review (Spoils): This is 6 years after Michael Myers and Jamie Lloyd (J.C. Brady) disappear. The film goes into explaining the reason behind the mystery men who shot up the prison in the last film. We have an evil sect of druids called Thorn that do everything in their power to protect Michael Myers. Jamie escaped them after giving birth to Michael’s child and she runs to Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance) again for help (poor bastard). We learn that Michael acts the way he does because he is cursed with some type of mental curse done by the Thorn cult and now it’s up to Dr. Loomis and Tom Doyle(Paul Rudd) to save the town.
We welcome back the small little boy Tom Doyle from the first film but we also see the death of Jamie Lloyd which leads to Michael wants now to kill their baby. This film is maligned I do not know where to start. The storyline is filled with holes and the editing is shit poor.
Rating: When you thought nothing could be worse for the series then part 3…well your wrong. This to me is the worse. I hate the whole cult storyline of the series and why could they not just leave Michael just being an unholy nut bag why do they have to try to explain everything. This is painful!!!!
Halloween 5 (1989)
Director: Dominique Othenin-Girard
Stars: Donald Pleasence, Danielle Harris, Ellie Cornell, Wendy Foxworth
Storyline: Michael Myers survives the shooting and comes back to track down little Jamie who is now in a mental hospital for children.
Review: This continues right where number 4th movie left off. Jamie is now in a hospital and she cannot longer talk due to trauma and shock (stupid part of the film actually). Annoying Rachel is still around and visits her regularly with her friend Tina. Doctor Loomis is also still around and still predicts and over shadows the young girl as Michael Myers is root of all evil and will be back to kill her. Michael survives his last over deal and floats to a remote area where someone takes care of him (Son of Frankenstein type feel).
Michael comes back and hunts Jamie and Rachel (which he finally gets YA!) and kills off everyone that gets in his way. The movie is pretty much the same as the last one; we have stabbings, hangings, pitch forks, gardening claw and great scene involving a laundry chute. This is also the beginning of the rune symbol which leads into part 6 and explains who rescued Myers from jail in the end.
Rating: This film is your typical slasher film; we have hot babes (Wendy Foxworth and that blonde), some blood, many chase scenes and Dr. Loomis spreading his prophecy of doom.
Halloween 4 (1988)
Director: Dwight H. Little
Stars: Donald Pleasence, Ellie Cornell, Danielle Harris, George P. Wilbur
Storyline: Ten years after the Michael Myers massacre he escapes the mental hospital and returns to Haddonfield to kill his niece.
Review (spoils): Michael Myers (George P. Wilbur) escapes when he was being transferred and he heads back to Haddonfield to now kill his niece Jamie (Danielle Harris). Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) is also back after he hears that he escaped to track him down before he gets to his young niece. Laurie Stroude is now dead and her daughter Jamie lives with her adopted family named the Carruthers and their daughter Rachel (Ellie Cornell) is her main caretaker. Michael comes back and does find Jamie after she takes off on her own on Halloween night and he kills everyone that gets in his way.
Michael is back which is nice as it just made sense to continue with him in the series. We get a thumb through the head, a dead dog, some electrical deaths, shotgun jammed through the chest and a gory throat rip. This all ends with a shootout and he falls in an old well. Jamie gets messed up through the whole ordeal and puts on the clown costume and kills her adopted mother (a nice little ode to the first film).
The film does suffer some bad acting and writing unfortunately, the Rachel character’s goody too shoes attitude can be annoying after awhile, why was there Myers masks in the store, who makes out at work, why was there a coil of cable on the roof by the chimney and yes the Brady character is a dick. So yeah there were some flaws.
Rating: Michael Myers is back so too me this is a bonus and plus this is the intro to the Jamie character which also leads Danielle Harris career in horror. Sure they killed the cop’s daughter who we all thought was hot when we were teens but the film is not that bad overall. Cheers to Michael’s comeback.