Tag Archives: John Gulager

Piranha 3DD (2012)

Piranha 3DD (2012)

Country: USA

Director: John Gulager

Main Stars: Danielle Panabaker, Ving Rhames, David Hasselhoff, Katrina Bowden, Meagan Tandy, Jean-Luc Bilodeau, David Koechner , Christopher Lloyd,

Storyline: After sometime a new water park opens and the piranhas are back.

MV5BMTg0OTQ2MTkxNF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNjkxMjczNDE@__V1_SX214_AL_Review (Spoils): The series continues where it left off which flashbacks, the basic storyline is a dirty uncle (David Koechner )wants to make money so he opens an adult water theme park even though his niece (Danielle Panabaker) who is half owner id against it. During this time some rednecks disturb the eggs of some piranhas when moving the body of a dead floating cow. The nasty species makes its way to the park where the T&A becomes a bloodbath.

We have the very cute Danielle Panabaker trapped in this silly continuation of the series. We have lots of blood in the water, exploding cows, lots of T&A, some lame storyline of nerd boy loves the girl but she likes the dirty cop story, a penis scene that was dumb and of course the Hoff. There is lots of floating hands (not sure why piranhas don’t eat these…must have been a box deal on floating hands), some chuckles and some stupidity such as the machine gun in the leg. The highlight of the film is the T&A, Danielle Panabaker and David Hasselhoff. The piranhas were so fake it was impossible to even take it a bit serious, more fake then the bimbos in the film.

Rating: This film failed but at the same time was still watchable. The last one was not horrible but this one should be the nail to the coffin of the series. There is cheesy fun but this kind of was leaning too much on the dumb side, much like a Troma film but unfortunate not one.

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4/10 Beers!

Yacker

 

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Filed under Killer Animals

Feast (2005)

Feast (2005)

Country: USA

Director: John Gulager

Main Stars: Navi Rawat, Krista Allen, Balthazar Getty, Henry Rollins, Jenny Wade

Storyline: People are locked in a bar and are attacked by strange monsters.

MV5BMTI0MzI5MTY1OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzU4MjYzMQ@@__V1_SX214_Review (Spoils): Did you read the storyline above??? Yes that’s right that is what the story is about and how they work together to survive against the flesh eating beasts. We have a bunch of random people of different cultures and personalities locked in a bar trying to work together to survive. The plot is simple and the movie moves fast and there is more blood and gore then you have ever seen in a matter of minutes.

We have monsters, blood everywhere, lots of decapitations, shot gun wounds, monster munching, lots of slime vomit, some good decomposing rotting and some crazy monster sex.

The film is all about blood, shock and getting right to the horror point of gore.

Rating: We have blood, gore, babes (Navi Rawat, Krista Allen and yummy Jenny Wade) and Henry Rollins what else do you really need to suck back pints and enjoy? You don’t need a detailed storyline for this film to work. Enjoy!!!

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7/10 Beers!

Yacker

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Filed under Monster