Piranha 3DD (2012)
Director: John Gulager
Main Stars: Danielle Panabaker, Ving Rhames, David Hasselhoff, Katrina Bowden, Meagan Tandy, Jean-Luc Bilodeau, David Koechner , Christopher Lloyd,
Storyline: After sometime a new water park opens and the piranhas are back.
Review (Spoils): The series continues where it left off which flashbacks, the basic storyline is a dirty uncle (David Koechner )wants to make money so he opens an adult water theme park even though his niece (Danielle Panabaker) who is half owner id against it. During this time some rednecks disturb the eggs of some piranhas when moving the body of a dead floating cow. The nasty species makes its way to the park where the T&A becomes a bloodbath.
We have the very cute Danielle Panabaker trapped in this silly continuation of the series. We have lots of blood in the water, exploding cows, lots of T&A, some lame storyline of nerd boy loves the girl but she likes the dirty cop story, a penis scene that was dumb and of course the Hoff. There is lots of floating hands (not sure why piranhas don’t eat these…must have been a box deal on floating hands), some chuckles and some stupidity such as the machine gun in the leg. The highlight of the film is the T&A, Danielle Panabaker and David Hasselhoff. The piranhas were so fake it was impossible to even take it a bit serious, more fake then the bimbos in the film.
Rating: This film failed but at the same time was still watchable. The last one was not horrible but this one should be the nail to the coffin of the series. There is cheesy fun but this kind of was leaning too much on the dumb side, much like a Troma film but unfortunate not one.
Director: Joe Dante
Main Stars: Bradford Dillman, Heather Menzies-Urich, Kevin McCarthy
Storyline: Some piranha’s get released into the waters of a summer resort.
Review (Spoils): Some young backpackers go skinny dipping in an old military post in which is invested by killer fish. The pond gets investigated by during the search the pond gets drained to see if they can find some clues of the young couple. Well the draining actually drains the killer fish in the water system.
We find out that the military created a mutate breed of piranha for the Vietnam War and now they are released in the populist. People start to get eating alive while swimming, touching the water, changing motors on a boat and what is more fun than involving a summer camp? Lots of blood in the water!
Rating: Coming from the era and cash in of Jaws comes another film that has terror in the water. The acting is not the greatest but the film really is not that bad. Sure the sound of the attacking fish can be annoying and almost comical but it is what it is….piranhas! This opened the door for some really bad sequels but luckily the film series was brought to life again with the 3D version. Grab some beers , some friends and watch the little fishies go wild.
Piranha 3D (2010)
Director: Alexandre Aja
Main Stars: Elisabeth Shue, Richard Dreyfuss, Christopher Lloyd, Jerry O’Connell, Steven R. McQueen, Jessica Szohr, Kelly Brook
Storyline: An underwater tremor sets free some prehistoric piranha on loose during spring break.
Review (Spoils): We got cheese, killer fish, booze, blood, massive gore and boobs. This film hit the horror genre on the head. Its spring break and the place are filled with horny and drunk teenagers that just want to party and bang. Sheriff Forester (Elisabeth Shue) is having a hard time controlling the teenagers and now she has really cheesy CGI piranha to deal with. The plot is that simple and Alexandre Aja throws more boobs and nudity that he can between kills. The movie flows at a fast pace and it is to be taken as a fun film not serious at all. Jerry O’Connell plays the dirty and scummy “Girls gone Wild” director who is tracking down fine ladies for his poorly boring porn vids. He does a great job and it is just another reason to throw more nudity in this film, hello yummy Kelly Brook I’m talking about you! We have more nasty blood and gore and it really cuts loose towards the end. Film holds to fish bites, swarms of piranha, blood and more blood, eyeballs, lots of bone exposure and even the other bone exposure (hahaha yes I’m looking at you Jerry O’Connell).
Rating: Not the greatest film and yes it was a bit too much on the teenage party stuff (sigh I’m getting old). But for a fun film with some friends this is not too bad and it is better than the original to be honest. The only real disappointment of the film was no Elisabeth Shue in a bikini, shame on you Alexandre Aja.