Tag Archives: R.Lee Ermey

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

Country: USA

Director: Jonathan Liebesman

Main Stars: Jordana Brewster, Matt Bomer, Diora Baird, R. Lee Ermey, Andrew Bryniarski, Taylor Handley

Storyline: A group of young people get into an accident and get taken to a secluded house where a young man is slowly becoming the man known as Leatherface.

MV5BMTMwODg0NDgyNV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODE5OTMzMQ@@._V1_SY317_CR0,0,214,317_AL_Review (Spoils): A slaughterhouse worker goes into labour and dies from complication even the deformed young child survives. The baby goes through rough times but is finally taken in by the Hewitt family and names Thomas (Andrew Bryniarski). He works a meat packing plant but that closes which drives the young man into a fit of murdering rage and he starts his killing spree. His brother (R. Lee Ermey ) tries to cover this up and kills the sheriff and takes over the identity of that man.

During all this two brothers name Eric (Matt Bomer) and Dean (Taylor Handley) drive across the country with their girlfriends Chrissie (Jordana Brewster) and Bailey (Diora Baird )as the boys are heading to Vietnam soon. They get involved in an accident which the sheriff appears and brings them back to the classic house. We lots of torture, bear traps, stabbings, shootings, and the first mask of Leatherface, chainsaws, head smashing and some impaling.

Rating: Bring out the blood in this one; this is the film that tries to make sense of what was going on in the remake. Does it work? Yes it kind of does. I still don’t understand why they need to make the family of misfits so large but at the same time it is what it is and the film does work as a prequel. Plus we have Leatherface and Jordana Brewster. Bring out the beers and saws!

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5/10 Beers!

Yacker

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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Country:  USA

Director:  Marcus Nispel

Stars: Jessica Biel, Jonathan Tucker, Andrew Bryniarski, Erica Leerhsen, R.Lee Ermey, Terrence Evans, Heather Kafka, Kathy Lamkin

Storyline: Five friends find themselves stalked by a deformed chainsaw wielding maniac and a inbreed family.

MV5BMjA4OTc0NDEzNF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzI1MzAwMQ@@__V1_SY317_CR2,0,214,317_Review: Welcome to Texas where hitchhikers are horny or just nuts and carry guns in their crotch!

In this remake of the classic from the 1970’s we have a more modern group of dope smoking teens heading to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert . They come across a couple hitchhikers (see above) and before they know it one of them blows off her head and off they become targets for a redneck family. This film tries to stay true to the original with Leatherface (Andrew Bryniarski) wielding his mighty chainsaw and the family tormenting the teens. We have some great scenes of gore such as, heads blown off, brains, body parts, chainsaw murders, cars running over people and lots of blood. The film tries to pay ode to the original and the second film with such scenes of the classic meat hook and the skinning and wear one victims face as a mask.

But to me it tried too hard. It tried to be over the top which the original never really had to do. It relied on gore, blood and guts. The family itself is over populated to the point you almost cannot keep track of them all. The first film kept it simple with a small group this one is like a Rob Zombie film it is all over the place with characters and plot holes.

Rating: First rule of horror don’t fuck with a classic. Sure this remake is semi-decent but if it is not broken do not re-invent the wheel.  The whole cannibal connection is missing from this film. But we do have Jessica Biel in her hotness running around in soaking white top through most of the film. So that counts for something.

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6/10 Beers!

Yacker

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