Eaten Alive (1977)
Director: Tobe Hooper
Main Stars: Neville Brand, Mel Ferrer, Carolyn Jones, Marilyn Burns, Robert Englund, Janus Blythe, Crystin Sinclaire, Roberta Collins, Kyle Richards
Storyline: A crazed old hotel owner decides to feed a huge crocodile people he hates.
Review (Spoils): Judd (Neville Brand) runs the Starlight Hotel deep in the swamps and he hates a lot people. He hates prostitutes, families, kids, people looking for people pretty much everyone but his pet crocodile. He swings his scythe that it’s nobody’s business.
We have the typical swamp in the south redneck type film with some pretty 70s girls. We have a very young Robert Englund who craves anal sex from these ladies; we have lots of blood, body parts, a great rubber crocodile and a crazed man who looks like Stephen King swinging a scythe. Some decent gore for its time and the film was actually fun to watch and love the mood of the 70s horror that Tobe Hooper once again delivered. The film is pretty simple a now reformed hooker goes missing and her family try to hunt down what happened to her and poor old Judd is trying to cover his tracks.
Rating: Too be honest I did not mind this film and love this whole era of horror so it was hard to go wrong plus we have Marilyn Burns as a scream queen yet again. They could have dropped the red lighting as that did get on my nervous but overall with the cheesiness it was fun to watch. But with blood, the gore of scythe, jaws of death of the crocodile and Janus Blythe, Marilyn Burns and Crystin Sinclaire it was hard to really go wrong.
Freddy VS Jason (2003)
Director: Ronny Yu
Main Stars: Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Kelly Rowland, Monica Keena, Katharine Isabelle, Paula Shaw, Jason Ritter
Storyline: Freddy and Jason and both trapped in Hell and work together to make sure people remember their legacy.
Review (Spoils): Freddy (Robert Englund) is trapped in Hell and he needs to help to have the people of planet Earth to remember the legacy of his terror. He takes the image of Pam Voorhees (Paula Shaw) and confronts Jason (Ken Kirzinger) to help him. Jason is resurrected upon the Earth in small area on Elm Street where he starts to slaughter people which starts people talking that Freddy is back. Through this Freddy gains his powers back and is brought back to existence. Now the problem is nothing is stopping Jason from killing which now draws more attention and fear of Jason on Elm Street then Freddy. Now the two villains must battle for king of Elm Street.
Elm Streets kids live in the fear of falling asleep and madman with a machete! This film brings us some nasty machete slicing, bodies bent in half, Monica Keena cleave shots, beheading, a nasty Jason invades a rave scene, classic Freddy claws, Jason in Freddys dream world, the battle between Freddy and Jason and trip back to Crystal Lake. The film even has a nice little ending which is very open ended.
Rating: I do like this film even though lots of people make fun of it. It is what it is suppose to be for both series a tongue in cheek horror entertainment. I personally liked the idea and felt that some of battles and scenes were fun. I would take a Freddy Vs Jason II over the multiple remakes that ended up coming out later on. It was just missing Kane Hodder is the only thing.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 7 (1994)
Director: Wes Craven
Main Stars: Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund, Jeff Davis, Marianne Maddalena, Tracy Middendorf
Storyline: Freddy enters the real world on the set of the actual movie.
Review (Spoils): On the 10th anniversary of the original film the star Heather Langenkamp actually starts to see real life clues that Freddy Kruegar (Robert Englund) really does exist. Wes Craven decides to do another Nightmare on Elm street film and they all realise together that to defeat Freddy is Heather has to become the character Nancy yet again.
Okay first I will start with my god doing the whole movie within a movie thing rarely works why the hell did Wes Craven think it would! Second dear god Heather Langenkamp is painful enough in the series did you have to bring her back as herself to torment us more? The series already kind of went to shit and lost its serious horror business a few movies back but now it is just downright stupid. Sure we have claws marks, an annoying kid, dream sequences, sleeping pills, some slashing blood fun, long tongues and the classic furnace, the same old same old story.
Rating: I was excited when this first came out as I was like wow Wes Craven is back to bring this series back from the crazy storylines but I was soooo wrong. Not the worse in the series but a hell of a long shot from the best. Instead of New Nightmare they should have called this just plain old Nightmare.
Director: Adam Green
Main Stars: Kane Hodder, Joel David Moore, Deon Richmond, Robert Englund, Tony Todd, Tamara Feldman, Mercedes McNab, Joleigh Fioravanti
Storyline: Welcome to Louisiana boat tours where the haunting of Victor Crowley lives again in the bayous.
Review (Spoils): In the Louisiana bayous a group of friends during Mardi Gras decide to go on a boat tour hosted by the strange Rev.Zombie (Tony Todd). They do the tour which involves a tour of the late Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder) who is a legend of having his face smashed with an axe from his father when trying to save him from a fire. Well they get stranded in the swamp and the haunting of Victor begins.
We have lots of swamp, babes, harpoons, alligator bites, pitchforks, gun shots, the sharpest shovel ever, lots of blood, some pole impaling and of course axes. Lots of blood for the kiddies in this one but for some reason the film falls flat. I can’t explain it really, it’s like it lost the whole point of the plot. Sure you can throw as much silly gore at me as possible but the film became so flat that I no longer cared about the characters and lost interest.
Rating: I had high hopes for this film as we have such classic horror actors like Kane Hodder, Robert Englund and Tony Todd. But even with all the unnecessary blood and gore it was not enough. The film was boring after about the first 40min and the Rev.Zombie character was something from a Rob Zombie film which is not a good thing. You want a revenge killer who got burnt named Crowley see The Burning.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 6 (1991)
Director: Rachel Talalay
Main Stars: Robert Englund, Lisa Zane, Breckin Meyer, Tom Arnold, Roseanne Barr, Johnny Depp, Alice Cooper
Storyline: Freddy is back but this time he haunts the dreams of his daughter that we did not know existed.
Review (Spoils): Freddy (Robert Englund ) is back but this time we learn even more about this past. This time we learn about his relationship with his wife when he was the child killer and the daughter we did not know he had. His daughter Maggie Burroughs (Lisa Zane) is all grown up and runs a shelter for teens. She starts to see a trend in teens having nightmares and she is having them herself. She gets hooked up with the last surviving teen from Springfield and gets caught in the Freddy madness.
She learns and has flashbacks of her haunting childhood past of his father Freddy, the death of her mother and decides to take him on herself. We have a few teens that die at the hands of Freddy but overall the story is between his daughter and him. We have some cheesy videogame deaths, sliced ears, flashbacks of the kids, screeching on the blackboard which causes head explosions and Maggie running around in pigtails and nightie. Pretty very basic stuff and to the point that series has lost its edge.
Rating: We have the beautiful Lisa Zane and some neat guest appearances from Alice Cooper (Freddys dad), Tom Arnold, Roseanne Barr and a funny Johnny Depp part. Outside of those two items this movie really did suck. Freddy’s Dead is a neat title but it really should be call This Series is Dead.
The Mangler (1995)
Director: Tobe Hooper
Main Stars: Robert Englund, Ted Levine, Daniel Matmor, Vanessa Pike, Lisa Morris
Storyline: A laundry folding machine is possessed by a demon and the owner feeds it new blood.
Review (Spoils): William Gartley (Robert Englund) runs the laundry warehouse and is control of a folding machine called the mangler. This machine is possessed by a demon and the employee’s are not aware of this and slowly more accidents are happening and death at the work site become more and more common. Finally after multiple deaths the warehouse and owner get investigated and they all must face the horrid mangler.
Ok as stupid as it sounds the film is not horrible. Robert Englund plays an interesting character which his metal legs and all. He is bit of a pervert and has some serious management issues. It was nice to see him in a different role. Some of the rest supporting cast was weak except for Lisa Morris who stuck out with her seducing type character and she plays a great wicked villain. This movie is downright gory and I was surprised by that seeing it was a Stephen King film. We have lots of blood and lots of gore in this one as we have bodies being crushed and almost swallowed by a pressing machine.
Where the film did fall apart was towards the end when the machine starts to chase down the heroes, that’s when the imagination went too far and it then became a B film. It is too bad as the film was pretty decent till that part.
Rating: I really thought this film was going just plainly suck but it surprised me. It’s not the greatest acting and the storyline is just stupid but it held together enough to enjoy. I have seen worse films.
Urban Legend (1998)
Director: Jamie Blanks
Stars: Jared Leto, Alicia Witt, Rebecca Gayheart, Tara Reid, Robert Englund, Danielle Harris
Storyline: A series of deaths could connected to old urban legends
Review: A young women gets murdered by an axe swinging maniac in the backseat of a car and now a group of university students are interested. Natalie (Alicia Witt) a beautiful redhead is studying folklore with her friends and Professor Wexler (Robert Englund). The Professor brings the attention of the murder and the connection of folklore to the class. Before you know it people are being killed off one by one in the way the folklore falls, leading to once again another who done it horror film.
Another collection of Hollywood horror with beautiful red carpet teenagers and trying to figure out who is killing them all off. This film brings us axe swinging, hangings, strangling, slashed wrists, slashed ankles, some running over, the classic pop rocks and liquid draino. Sure the killer is wearing a winter coat and walking around killing people but the whole idea of who the killer is in the end is a little out of range and it isn’t possible if you think about it.
Rating: Another teenage slasher film of this era. There was not enough to hold the film together and the final is just stupid as it is not really possible. For that alone this is not a memorable one even for the era of horror that it sits in.
Zombie Strippers (2008)
Director: Jay Lee
Main Stars: Jenna Jameson, Robert Englund, Roxy Saint, Penny Drake, Whitney Anderson, Jennifer Holland, Shamron Moore, Jeanette Sousa
Storyline: The government decide to re-animate with a new virus. The virus finds its way into a strip club and the ladies have confronting struggles over the new changes.
Review (Spoils): A bunch of marines accidently let loose some zombies that make their way to an underground strip club. The lead striper is infected and the film becomes a “who is the better stripper contest” between the normal stripers or the stripers that chew flesh. The film is lacking in plot and real story. We have some blood, gore, flesh and some graphic zombies, oh and some serious boobs!
The acting is very lacking but then again really what do we want when we have Jenna Jameson playing the lead. The film was entertaining enough but this is not be far a must see for zombies films.
Rating: I like porn and know my adult film stars but unfortunate (for this film) Jenna Jameson was never one of my favourites. I did not hold high hopes for this film and the film deliver in that no high hopes. Lots of delicious ladies and zombies but the contest of strippers was just a dumb idea.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5 (1989)
Director: Stephen Hopkins
Main Stars: Robert Englund, Lisa Wilcox, Kelly Jo Minter, Erika Anderson, Danny Hassel
Storyline: Alice is back but this time Freddy is getting through to her from the dreams of her unborn child.
Review (Spoils): Alice (Lisa Wilcox) survived the last film and now Freddy (Robert Englund) is back but he is haunting her from the unborn child that sits in her womb. Yes that’s right through the baby. We get some history on Freddys mother and the rape that she had in the asylum and of course classic Freddy humor. In this mess of a script we have lots of slashing, dreams, truck wrecks, some cheesy A-Ha wannabe scenes, eating to death, 80s Guess jeans and the kid from Ratt’s Lay it Down video who plays Jacob the to be born child.
Robert Englund is back playing Freddy like he always does but this film really lacks on gore, scares and even a decent storyline. When I see Kelly Jo Minter I think “my god it’s the 80s!” this is a bad thing.
Rating: Ok I thought the second one was bad but this one might be worse. We got nothing here really except a really bad storyline and some very bad special effects. I sense this is where the series fell off the tracks and went down the tubes. It’s bad…trust me!
Director: Robert Kurtzman
Main Stars: Tammy Lauren, Andrew Divoff, Robert Englund, Kane Holder, Tony Todd
Storyline: An evil djinn grants its owner of the red gem three wishes which allows him to bring hell on earth.
Review (Spoils): The story goes that if three wishes are granted on the third wish an unholy legion of djinns is unleashed through a doorway between the outer worlds and earth to wreck havoc. Right now one djinn (Andrew Divoff) is trapped in a red gem called the Stone of Secret Fire. The stone was set in a statue which breaks and the gem gets found and gets placed in an auctioneer’s hand named Alexandra Amberson (Tammy Lauren). The evil djinn get’s released and traps people’s souls from wishes within the stone so that he can unleash the fury of the other djinn.
This film has some gore but nothing over the top we have removal of faces from the morgue, the djinn changing forms as he moves and some over the top , jaw ripping, exploding blood the gore is here in this one. Thank you Wes Craven for that! The make –up and the effects are pretty decent and too be honest the Wishmaster djinn is a classic villain for the late 80s in horror.
Rating: I liked this movie I do not understand why so many people hate this film. It is fun for what it is. We have some classic horror celebs such as Robert Englund, Kane Holder, Tony Todd making appearances and plus it also has Wes Cravens name on the tag. The series is not the greatest but this is fine entry on its own.