Tag Archives: 6 Beers

Rabid (1977)

Rabid (1977)

Country:  Canada

Director: David Cronenberg

Main Stars: Marilyn Chambers, Frank Moore, Joe Silver, Susan Roman

Storyline: A woman has plastic surgery and since she craves blood and has been creating a zombie plague across the city.

Review (Spoils): After a freak motorcycle and van accident, which leaves the back passenger of the cycle with some major burns, she is rushed to a plastic surgeon under her will (she is in a coma) for a test experiment. Rose (Marilyn Chambers) wakes up in a scare and learns that she now craves blood. She ends up hurting a patient near her and he cannot remember and lord behold a plague starts to infect the area. Oh, did we mention that she has a start red like new organ growing under her armpit that she uses to draw blood? Human blood is the need as she tries cow’s blood and it just causes some serious blood puke and the victims becomes a rabid type plague on top of that.

This film is all over the place when it comes to the storyline and bizarre. We have strange red penis like organs, a classic porn star as the main actor, foaming mouths, red blood and a zombie like plague that is haunting the streets as Rose keeps her secret. Only in Montreal, can something this weird cut loose?

Only David Cronenberg could create something this bizarre to hit the horror world for its time in the 70s.

Rating: This film is what happens when you mixed horror with a classic 70s porn queen and the classic freak king David Cronenberg. If you are a fan of his movies, you will love this one and get a huge kick out of it all. However, if you like your horror movies very standard you will be sighing through the damn thing. I dug the film and kind of understand the cult following it has, it just needed more classic porn stars in it.

6/10 Beers!

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The Witch (2015)

The Witch (2015)

Country:  USA

Director: Robert Eggers

Main Stars: Anya Taylor-Joy, Ralph Ineson, Kate Dickie, Harvey Scrimshaw, Sarah Stephens, Daniel Chaudhry

Storyline: 1630 as New England is in a battle against witchcraft and see the outcome of one family

Review (Spoils): The film is placed in New England during the battle against witchcraft in the 1630s. A young couple with their children leave the village so that they can live on their own with their devoted Christian ways. One day when the eldest daughter is taking care of the youngest one, he vanishes when playing peek a boo and then things started to becomes darker for the family. The family start to turn on each other as they try to figure out what is what evil is haunting them and why.

This film has some very interesting and enjoyable scenery such as old buildings, trees and that damn black goat (which you are waiting for something to happen). The acting is actually really good and the storyline has prudential but the sound is not that great. The music and sound effects over take the script (character lines) and along with the hard accent sometimes difficult to keep up. Which is too bad but the film is likable. We have lots of blood, naked witches, a black goat, some nasty head wounds, and some symbolism of coming into adulthood, a coven, a wicked tree and a nice Snow White type seduction.

Rating: This film is not bad but it could have been a lot more enjoyable if they would fix the audio and less on the music. I personally liked the idea and I enjoyed Anya Taylor-Joy as the main character as she was interesting and played the sides of the character very well. I hope this film is not ruined with a sequel, as it was nice to have the open ending.

6/10 Beers!

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Most Likely to Die (2015)

Most Likely to Die (2015)

Country:  USA

Director: Anthony DiBlasi

Main Stars: Chad Addison, Jake Busey, Tess Christiansen, Perez Hilton, Marci Miller, Tatum Miranda, Heather Morris

Storyline: Class reunion in the forest turns deadly.

Review (Spoils): A group of former classmates get together for a pre-party for the actual reunion and people start to disappear. One by one, each one starts to be slaughtered by someone dressed in a gown, razor hat and a mask. Each one is slaughtered to match the wording under their graduation photo in the yearbook.

This is perfect plot, people for a nice senseless slaughter movie. This film brought me back to what I like about cheesy slaughter fests. We have hot babes, people acting stupid when frightened, conflict, lots of dark blood, some gore and a unique villain that I actually enjoyed. Perez Hilton was actually entertaining in this film and Tess Christiansen is smoking hot. Sure, the plot had some serious unanswered questions and holes but this type of film is not meant to be serious. We have dark blood, flying razor hats, a nasty hockey stick gag, a beheading that was graphic (I was surprised and delighted), lots of throats slash and some gunshots. Enough here to keep the gore fan happy.

Rating: Very surprised by this film I was really expecting a piece of crap. When the movie started I was like dear god this is going to be painful but we killed the dumb horny chick at the beginning and we moved on to more characters. Sure, there was skin but no nudity but I actually cheered for the villain in this one. I actually hope he makes a come back!

6/10 Beers!

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Krampus (2015)

Krampus (2015)

Country:  USA

Director: Michael Dougherty

Main Stars: Adam Scott, Toni Collette, David Koechner, Conchata Ferrell, Krista Stadler, Emjay Anthony, Stefania LaVie Owen, David Koechner

Storyline: A young boy wishes for things to be like old times for Christmas, Krampus grants his wish.

Review (Spoils): Young Max wants an old fashion Christmas and writes a note and it gets read out loud at the dysfunctional Christmas dinner. This prompts Krampus to appear that night and grant his wish. One by one the family Christmas gets ripped apart so that poor Max will be happy.

First off its spring why this film now? Well I have a young family I try my hardest to get this horror films in whenever I can. This film is like Gremlins meets Pumpkinhead with a nice touch of one liners and comedy. A nasty winter storm is background scenery of this film while we have hoofs, monster goblin elves, stabbing candy canes, creepy clowns, harpy angel dolls, killer teddy bears and the classic gingerbread men all on the hunt in the name of Krampus. Oh and of course the man himself in all his long tongue and massive horned glory. A nice chocking of Christmas lights and some interesting scenes as Krampus grabs the children one by one but do not expect a gore or blood drive in this one. the film had enough scenes that was action packed but was expecting a lot more of the horror.

Rating: This film was not as dark as I thought it was going to be. I was expecting more jumps and some red stuff but instead we had some character build, one liners, the beautiful Toni Collette and the best part of the film the killer gingerbread men. This could of used more blood….

6/10 Beers!

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Dreamcatcher (2003)

Dreamcatcher (2003)

Country:  USA

Director: Lawrence Kasdan

Main Stars: Morgan Freeman, Thomas Jane, Jason Lee, Damien Lewis, Donnie Wahlberg

Storyline: A group of young men when camping discover that they are being plagued by a parasitic alien.

Review (Spoils): Ever year since they were kids a group of young men travel to Maine Woods. This year it just happens to be in the winter during a massive blizzard. They discover a man on his lonesome travelling and when they take him in for shelter they learn it is more than they bargained for. One by one they start to witness a parasite that is overtaking them.

Take the film Stand by Me and place a bit of The Thing in it and you have the formula for Dreamcatcher. You really cannot go wrong with that and with the list of actors in this film it is a good ride. We have a nice winter horror film with a nice touch of sci-fi and lots of blood and gore to cover the white. The monster itself is interesting you really do not have a full image of what it is (much like The Thing) which leaves lots for the imagination.

Rating: This is a great winter feel horror film outside the Christmas themes. The acting is well done and the scenery and music add to the film. We have enough red in the film and flash back character build that the film keeps you entertained. Its not everyday that you get a guys guy horror film without the fleeing scream queens.

6/10 Beers!

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Darkness (2002)

Darkness (2002)

Country:  USA

Director: Jaume Balaguero

Main Stars: Anna Paquin, Lena Olin, Iain Glen

Storyline: A teenage girl and her family move into a remote country home and it is haunted

Review (Spoils): An old country house has a hidden old past of terror and is now claimed to be haunted. 40 years after that a family moves into the house with a new family. A young boy of the family starts to be frightened and starts to see things and act funny and drags his old sister into the worry. After investigation we learn of the 7 children hidden past of the house that is haunting it. We learn about the Darkness.

The film tries to take your basic haunting like film and uses other elements to the story of fright such as the mental issues of the father and the oddness of the son. The acting is well done and the star of the film Anna Paquin shines. The movie does not scream on the blood and gore but instead it works but sound and lighting which is a bit different then the generic haunting films we see nowadays.

Rating: The twist ending is a not a surprise and that part actuals downgrades the film. Yes, the film follows the normal formula for horror but what the director did to this film to present it is different and worth checking out. Plus it has Anna Paquin before she was really famous.

6/10 Beers!

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Wolf Creek 2 (2013)

Wolf Creek 2 (2013)

Country: Australia

Director: Greg McLean

Main Stars: John Jarratt, Ryan Corr, Shannon Ashlyn, Philippe Klaus

Storyline: Some backpackers run into Mick Taylor and he makes short work of them as he hunts them down.

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Review (Spoils): We have a quick opening as the mood and setting of the outback film kicks in. We have Mick Taylor (John Jarratt ) back and being labeled (by the film) as one of the main reasons Australia is known for so many missing people. We start with a young German couple (Shannon Ashlyn, Philippe Klaus) who Mick runs into and he makes short work of them. This leads to another traveller (Ryan Corr) who happens to try to save the young girl but ends up being on Micks shit list also. Through all this we learn more and more about Mick Taylor and his madness.

Welcome back to Wolf Creek, we have chainsaws, lots of stabbings, a nasty beheading, some finger grinding, mind games, drinking and of course the famous one liners from Mick Taylor. The film opens with a classic scene of Mick Taylor and some cops who are trying to give him a speeding ticket. Great opening scene!

Rating: Mick Taylor is back and so is the torment and gore. The movie tries to bring some more depth to the madman but at times (the long winded song and drinking scene could have been cut in half) but overall the film is entertaining. Near the end the film reminded me a bit of Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 which is not a bad thing and I’m starting to enjoy Mick as a horror icon more. This is film is not for the weak of heart for gore and torture.

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6/10 Beers!

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