The Nun (2018)
Director: Corin Hardy
Main Stars: Demian Bichir, Taissa Farmiga, Jonas Bloquet, Bonnie Aarons, Irgrid Bisu
Storyline: A young nun and a priest with a past investigates a disturbance at a sacred site located in Romania where a nun was found hanging.
Review (Spoils): This storyline and film is a prequel storyline from The Conjuring series. A young nun (Taissa Farmiga) who has not done her final vows is investigating along with a middle-aged priest (Demian Bichir) into why a young nun was found hanging at a sacred site. After venturing off into the forest led by another young man (Jonas Bloquet) who is hired to bring supplies that come to the old ruins. Once within the ruins a lost ancient key led to haunting and demonic possessions that bring forth the dread of the place.
First off, I personally do not understand why the Nun really needed her backdrop story as she could have just stayed with the original series. I personally find the whole Conjuring series becomes a mess as they are trying to damn hard to make this series into multiple eras and storylines when it was fine just on its own. The whole film is low on character development and focuses way too much on how much can we try to scare the audience with jump scares over and over. Some of the dialogue in the movie is very cheesy and even some of the interaction between the characters are barf worthy. (the lust connection between the two young people). The movie does well when it comes to special effects, I will give it that, but the storyline is dry and could have been told in 20min.
The Nun does give us like I mentioned some cool graphics and effects like the Nun herself (Bonnie Aarons), some cool floating scenes, burning bodies, snakes out of mouths, lots of pentagrams, a beheading, crows munching on bodies, hanging and some cool eye makeup and possessions.
Rating: The movie did not have to be made and could have been just a side background on The Conjuring series (screams cash grab). The characters were not easy to get into, but the special effects were enjoyable enough to get over the boredom of this film. The best part of the film is the final scene where the connection is done and to be honest that’s all that could have been done to save time and money. Am I Conjuring fan, sure the series is decent? Do I feel it is a classic no not all? In my 40 years of watching horror films there are way more classics series than this one to cash in on.
4/ 10 Beers!
Filed under Haunting, Occult
Director: Ari Aster
Main Stars: Toni Collette, Milly Shapiro, Gabriel Byrne, Alex Wolff, Ann Dowd, Mallory Bechtel
Storyline: A grieving family after the grandmother passes away starts to have strange occurrences happening to them.
Review (Spoils): As Annie’s (Toni Collette) mother passed away herself and the rest of the family start to have strange things happen to them and odd tragic events. Her husband (Gabriel Byrne) in denial as her son Peter (Alex Wolff) struggles to fit and goes into blank outs, her daughter Charlie (Milly Shapiro) struggles period and is odd. As trying to figure this all out they start to play with the supernatural and see connection somehow to the grandmother.
This film relies mostly on the tension of the family members. From many tragic losses and then gripping with the strangeness that is haunting the family not just at home but even in the outside world. You can feel the tension between the mother, the father and the son which escalates as more tragic events surround the family and breaks the mothers mind down. When Annie meets Joan, things start to peel open and things of the supernatural are experienced even more.
We get a mix of things within the movie besides the awesome music scores such as beheadings, headless bodies, burnings, a few bodies crawling on walls and ceilings (done very well like Exorcist III), some blood and gore, nasty head banging and naked standing bloated bodies. The film grips on haunting and jump scares and like I mentioned before family tension.
Rating: I personally can say I enjoyed this film a lot. Sure, some of the images is nothing new that we have not seen before but the tension alone within the family is the horror of the film. You can feel the stress and the struggle and can relate and for that this film was done very well. Sure, when the film starts unfolding the secret there really is no surprises and you may even groan but the film was still worth it. Both Toni Collette and Alex Wolff stand out the most and did an amazing job on the character development. Go checkout this film and All Hail Paimon!
The Crucifixion (2017)
Director: Xavier Gens
Main Stars: Sophie Cookson, Corneliu Ulici, Ada Lupu, Brittany Ashworth, Ozana Oancea
Storyline: A young writer investigates a story around a nun that died at the hands of exorcism
Review (Spoils): Young Nicole (Sophie Cookson) goes on a writing adventure as she tries to grab and investigate the story behind a priest and number of nuns being convicted of murder of a thought of one of their own being possessed. This leads to a chase to Rome where she starts to interview everyone involved so that she can get the story. As she starts to look into Father Anton (Corneliu Ulici), she learns more about the events and the possibility of the demon being real and still out there.
The film scenery is good, and the storyline actual is not flawed. The characters within the church are built up well and the acting is not as bad as I thought but there are some issues with the main character the journalist. The acting was meh and she just was not believable for the part of the one looking into everything. Yes, she is cute but she kind of ruined the film as the story had so much potential around the madness of Maricica Irina Cornici. I believe this is the same back story as The Exorcism of Emily Rose (which I loved).
The film does not really give us anything new except the spider scenes which are actually pretty interesting. We have blood, black eyes, eye rolls, floating bodies and of course a falling out the window body. Everything else around the film is focused on storyline which can be long winded and the typical scares that are not that scary.
Rating: Two problems which this film is the acting of Sophie Cookson and nothing really new out of the typical exorcist type film. The storyline like I have repeated few times is not bad and it is worth a view if you can get past Sophie Cookson. But do not expect anything new and refreshing outside of the spider scenes.
Pet Sematary (2019)
Director: Kevin Kolsch, Dennis Widmyer
Main Stars: Jason Clark, Amy Seimetz, John Lithgow, Jete Laurence, Hugo Lavoie, Lucas Lavoie, Obassa Ahmed, Alyssa Brooke Levine
Storyline: A young family move out to the country where they learn there is a old pet cemetery that is is on old Indian burial ground and once buried there you come back to life.
Review (Spoils): Well another horror remake to hit my screen. This was I am going to be honest I was not racing to see either as the original holds some childhood memories of a classic. Strangely this film changed enough to have me interested in viewing as story that could continue if you just change the names. The young family that move to country you can connect with and relate with especially myself being a husband and father of two myself (also girl /boy). A few things don’t go as planned as they start to live near a crazy busy dirt road (not sure why you would move there with young kids) and not far off is a forest area where people wear masks of animals and bury their dead pets. Seems like a nice place to raise a family.
This film gives us the fluffy cat named Church, a dead cat, a dead dog, a nasty head injuring, lots of blood, undead kids, ghosts, animal masks, a couple nasty stabs with a twist and a flip ending that will keep you guessing.
Rating: This film even though a remake did not just copy the idea from scene to scene but instead used that to keep you guessing. This was nice as it kept myself glued to the screen as I personally always have a tough time with the idea of remakes. Both John Lithgow and Jason Clark were amazing as playing the leading men as the connection between the two was played well. Whole Zelda storyline unlike the original film feel flat nor did I care about it. It lacked on scare and gloom that once was but instead annoyed me to get back to the main storyline. Jete Laurence was a total surprise and she played the part very well along the end of the film and her make up was not over done and the effect worked. But the storyline of hers did feel rushed and it took too long of time to get to. But overall it was not bad and kept me guessing and not just a word for word remake.
Director: Clive Tonge
Main Stars: Olga Kurylenko, Craig Conway, Javier Botet, Mackenzie Imsand, Rosie Fellner
Storyline: An ancient demon haunts people dreams as it feeds off their death. A criminal psychologist investigating gets trapped in the curse.
Review (Spoils): Criminal psychologist Kate (Olga Kurylenko) is assigned to investigate a murder in which only a young girl is witness too. As Kate looks further into the child and what happened this all leads to ancient curse of a demon known as Mara that haunts and kills in phases.
This film is a like a cross between The Grudge and the Nightmare on Elm Street series. Instead of Freddy haunting everyone and causing people to not sleep we have a haunting creepy limbed woman known as Mara. As Kate goes through the investigation, she learns that the murder might all be tied to ancient being that haunts and kills people in their sleep. As she meets people that are claiming its real and attacks in phases she gets marked also (starts with red mark on the eye) and the madness begins. While she is trying to accept the fate, she tries to find out what is the connection of the demon to kill.
The movie is set with some typical scares and a villain again that a woman with long hair and moves in awkward steps upon the person. Nothing really out of the ordinary except its been awhile since we had a dream killer. Olga Kurylenko does do an amazing job as the lead during this scattered storyline that really does not get explained. Secondly Craig Conway is also awesome as the crazy Dougie and that character along was worth the viewing. But unfortunate the haunting demon Mara is not memorable.
The film gives us red blood dots on eyes, red eyes, some broken necks, typical woman demon that crawls funny, the cute Olga Kurylenko, a nasty eye lid slash, a burning with gas and some dark dream sequences. The eye lid scene is enough to make you clinch.
Rating: This film had some protentional but the storyline of why leaves it kind of lame. I actually did love the phases of the haunting and how the demon is ancient and the scene explaining that with both Craig Conway and Olga Kurylenko but after that its kind of fell flat. Brining it back to the kid and her parents seemed like a cop out and I lost interest. Too bad as the movie was going in the right track at one point. Maybe a sequel could save this film to explain something I little more complete for the demon Mara.
Filed under Haunting, Occult
Director: Zak Hilditch
Main Stars: Carmen Ejigi, Theo Rossi, Emma Greenwell, Jenna Doolittle, Apollonia Pratt, Debrianna Mansini
Storyline: A young mom tries to save her daughter from a poisonous bite from a rattlesnake. Has she sold her soul to the devil?
Review (Spoils): Young Katrina and her daughter Clara are traveling across country until she gets a flat tire. For some unknown reason her daughter is out of the car in the desert playing while she battles the bolts on the tire. She gets bit by a rattlesnake (no shit) and is going to die until she gets help. Katrina ends up at a strange redneck like trailer in the middle of nowhere and makes a pact for a cure.
Now the pact is where the movie and the story line get lost, nothing is explained really on what she is told or has to do. She starts to see things that she thinks is real and goes on a hunting spree of desperation to make it all end. Carmen Ejigi character is lacking or maybe it was the performance. First, I would not find her threaten at all with a gun and second the focused way to much on the emotion of eyes when there was clearly fake emotion. Plus, why in the fuck was your kid in the desert that far alone.
The film also lacks on gore and yet once again uses cheap CGI for the black plague of the poison. This film lacked massively on the scares and frights and it was more like a cheap made for TV series. People that should be dead reappear sorry this is not frightening in anyway in this day age of horror films.
Rating: Things I learnt from watching this film. Yes, Netflix does have some crap when it comes to movies. Never, ever let your child wander out in a desert field. Carmen Ejigi is cute but might not be a very good actress. Emma Greenwell could have been in the movie more in her panties. Who the fuck tries to change a tire with a tire iron and using their hands? Use your foot and you kick it down to loosen the bolt dump ass! The kid was annoying prob not worth all the effort.
Wish Upon (2017)
Director: John R. Leonetti
Main Stars: Joey King, Ryan Phillippe, Ki Hong Lee, Mitchell Slaggert, Shannon Purser, Sydney Park, Elisabeth Rohm, Joesphine Langford, Alexander Nunez, Daniela Barbosa
Storyline: A teenage girl was given a box from her father and it unlocks, and grants wishes.
Review (Spoils): Young Clare (Joey King) is a misfit and does not fit with in the in crowd. When her embarrassing father delivers a special box and she figures how to unlock its secrets it grants 7 wishes. Of course, as a young teenager she is selfish in her wishes and because of that it comes with a horrible price.
This film plays off the characters of misfits and a small group of individuals that do not fit in with the in crows at school. When the main character Clare abuses the power of the box and starts to use the wishes there are deadly consequences. Picture the deaths along the lines of the Final Destination series, which the mix of Wishmaster for the grant wish part (minus the djinn) and Hellraiser as the box has a puzzle box feel to it. There you go you have the Wish Upon movie!
The film gives some nasty kills that is for sure like stabs through the eye, a nasty garage disposal death, elevators that crash, car hits, some nasty fungus of death and other weird deaths and pains of the world. Basically, the film is the main character trying to fit and drops all her friends and other with the wishes of her selfish need. The film screams teen drama.
Rating: The idea was okay but stolen from past big names series and the death scream influence from the Final Destination films. Did it hurt the film? A little to be honest as it seemed like a bit of a copy cat. We could have used a little more of Joesphine Langford but I was interested to see how this film was going to end and was not upset with the ending to be honest. Joey King did do a great job as the main character but when it came to the wishes it did seem out of character when it came to be waiting to be popular. Its worth a watch as there is a Hell of lot worse out there in horror.
The Quiet Room (2018)
Director: Sam Wineman
Main Stars: Jamal Douglas, Barkley Harper, Stephanie Kerbis, Brian McCook, Chris Salvatore, Alaska Thunderfuck, Lisa Wilcox, Kit Williamson
Storyline: Young man is within a psych ward and must battle off a demon that haunts the ward before it kills everyone.
Review (Spoils): Young Michael (Jamal Douglas) is admitted to a psych ward due to the attempt of suicide and when he arrives it has awakened a female demon entity that has decided to kill off anyone who gets in its way of Michael. As Michael gets close to other inmates as friends or even sexual (as a comfort for his pain) the demon follows the path to destroy them.
This short film was suggested to me online to check out as it was released on Crypt TV as a kick off for Pride Month. Yes, the film has some homosexuality hints and visuals too it, but it does not over bear the film story line and leaves a bit to want the demon wants and why. The actual story line itself does have gaps in the findings of why but I believe this is on purpose for the audience to re-watch and try to find their own personal reasoning for the demon. The acting is not bad for short feature that rounds out a little less than 30min. Some of characters could have been rounded out a bit more but then again, it’s a short film and it needs to get the action and to the point. I found the characters outside of the main actor like Barkley Harper and Kit Williamson worked and I had interest in them. Barkley Harper had some great one liners and connection with the Hunter character, and I could listen and stare at her all day to be honest. Kit Williamson was mysterious which lean on the is he creepy or is he sincere role.
The special effects to be honest were decent for a film like this. The monster was done very well, and I enjoyed the demon and felt it was not cheesy and would be something I could see in a large film. I was quite impressed as I was expecting some bad CGI. We have blood, naked female demons, semi naked men, nasty slit wrists, dreams sequences, smoking hot Barkley Harper and some twisted leg breaks and more blood.
Rating: Looking for a quick 30min fix of horror this is not too bad. It has the horror legendary Lisa Wilcox in it and outrageous fun Alaska Thunderfuck. As noted before Barkley Harper needs more air time in horror! Go check it out!
6/10 Beers for a short film !
The Babysitter (2017)
Main Stars: Judah Lewis, Samara Weaving, Robbie Amell, Hana Mae Lee, Bella Thorne, Emily Alyn Lind, Andrew Bachelor, Doug Haley, Leslie Bibb, Ken Marino
Storyline: A 11-year-old boy has a crush on his babysitter but learns the hard truth about her and her friends.
Review (Spoils): Young Cole (Judah Lewis) is a nerd and has the same babysitter all his life and still wants to have one because well he has a crush on her. One-night Cole’s parents go away yet again and hot young Bee (Samara Weaving) is needed to look after Cole. After he gets settled into bed for the night he stays up to learn that all these years she and her friends have been working out a cult that leads to sacrifices.
The movie plays of stick comedy and lots of blood much like over classic like Dead-Alive, Shawn of the Dead and Zombieland. Much like them this one does not stray far form being a classic. We have a great handful of hot babes like Cole’s mom Leslie Bibb, Bee the sitter Samara Weaving, the blonde cheerleader Bella Thorne and the odd ball goth chick with legs Hana Mae Lee. And for the rest we have shirtless Robbie Amell. Tons of blood flies in this film such as knives to the head, Poker through the head, gunshots wounds, head blown, gas explosion, nasty whatever through the neck, hangings and a car wreck that would make Christine proud. As a added bonus we have a hot kiss between Samara Weaving and Bella Thorne and a under the sheet jerk off from Leslie Bibb. The only thing missing from this film was a thicker plot background and of course some skin.
Rating: After being told by many to check this film out and I kept putting it off as don’t normally like horror with comedy, but I rest my case I liked it. Yes, it could have used some nudity and way more of Leslie Bibb on the screen (my god she was the hottest one) and the Bee character is kind of annoying to be honest. But the cheap story line and the tongue in cheek and fast gore was great enough to keep myself entertain at the horror level. Even though the film plays on the hormones throughout it was not overdone and there was enough one liners in it to keep a chuckle going.
8 / 10 Beers!
Director: Luca Bercovici
Main Stars: Peter Liapis, Lisa Pelikan, Tamara De Treaux, Mariska Hargitay, Peter Risch, Charene Cathleen
Storyline: A young man finds a book of the occult when taking over an old house.
Review (Spoils): This film screams 80s so get ready. We have a young couple that decide to take over an old house and the basement calls to him when he comes across an old book of the occult. He quits school and decides one night when they have a party to start a calling. (instead of playing strip poker sigh..) Before you know it, his girlfriends start to suspect so call, he calls on the darkness to control her and all this little rubber demons come out to help him.
The film has hot 80s ladies, cheap lightning and fog, beers and drugs, some fancy cult robes, rubber demons, a nasty tongue and some minor blood. The film was entertaining for what it was but really the ending kind of came and went.
Rating: I dislike maybe even hate films where everything just magically goes back to normal. For example, April Fools Day (drives me nuts) what was the point of the film then? But we do see Mariska Hargitay when she was young and before she was a star and man, she is cute! Also, Charene Cathleen was not bad either but the movie itself was pretty silly.