Director: David Lynch
Main Stars: Jack Nance, Charlotte Stewart, Allen Joseph, Jeanne Bates, Judith Roberts, Laurel Near
Storyline: Henry Spencer tries to adapt with his surroundings, new girlfriend and mutant baby
Review (Spoils): This film was been on my list of going to watch for many years. The other night finally the time had come to checkout the classic known as Eraserhead. From the beginning of the film you know you are about to watch something that is a piece of art and not huge on story line but read through the symbolic scenes are appear before you. Henry Spencer (Jack Nance) is trying to just survive what is before him and what is visioning in his mind and that is what the film is pretty much. He gets his girlfriend (Charlotte Stewart) pregnant and they have a mutant baby that near stops crying that drives them insane.
The visuals are crazy with this film, we have a nutty family (my favorite part of the film actually), a man on the moon, blood, a gross chicken scene, a woman who lives in a water heater rad that has puffy cheeks and sings, sperm stomping, smashed head, some pencils, some seduction on the bed and the classic screaming horse mutant baby. The most unforgettable of the film is Henry himself, the crying mutant baby, the upset girlfriend (her family) and the sexy woman from across the hall (Judith Roberts). The film does not strive on horror but instead on the weirdness and the sounds of the movie. The sounds and audio is what makes this a strange and memorable film.
Rating: Welcome the first of the beginning of the twisted world of David Lynch. This film is not boring by a long shot but by the end, you will say what the fuck I just watched. This film is not for everyone and do not watch it stoned!
6/10 Beers! (why 6 cause it is messed up!)
Its Alive (1974)
Director: Larry Cohen
Main Stars: John P. Ryan, Sharon Farrell, Andrew Duggan
Storyline: A baby is born and seen as a monster as it kills.
Review (Spoils): A couple are expecting their second child and when the wife goes into labor (which is such as unrealistic scene) the baby seems larger then normal. While the husband is playing poker and smoking in the waiting room with the other husbands there is a bloodbath in the wake of the delivery room. The baby has escaped and left a bloody murder trail of claws and bites. The bay must be found and destroyed.
This film screams 70s which is awesome! We have bright red blood, bad acting, drama, a Go Go girl death and screaming baby monster that we never really see fully which is great. Claws and bite marks to the people’s deaths and some red blood that Dario would be proud of. The conflict of the parents on if they real do want to destroy the beast as it is their child is entertaining and the sound effects and baby effects are worth the film alone.
Rating: I love this film it’s a classic when it comes to 70s horror and I believe it could be cult classic also. Unfortunate the film looses some its charm because of the cheesie sequels but the angry monster baby is a classic beast of horror. The Go Go girl alone is worth on beer on its own.
Village of the Damned (1960)
Director: Wolf Rilla
Main Stars: George Sanders, Barbara Shelley, Martin Stephens
Storyline: In a small village all the children start to be born with blond hair and have glowing eyes that people fear.
Review (Spoils): In the small village of Midwich the whole place falls into a deep slumber/ time stops during the day with no explanation. Several months later all the ladies within the town is pregnant (which are capable of child birth), once the babies are born they all have platinum blond hair and glowing eyes that enthrall people to do their bidding. The story goes on as the freaky kids start to overcome the village and start domination over everyone.
We have lots of blond wigs, some flashing eyes, some creepy sci-fi type music, some classic actors and actresses George Sanders, Barbara Shelley, Martin Stephens and some very bad tempered children. This film is a classic and a must see for any horror fan or sci-fi fan. The idea of one learning means they all understand as they share and communicate as one. Also the explanation of why this is all happening is never explained and that is what makes the movie is more of gem…too much information does ruin a film sometimes.
Rating: This is a sci-fi and horror classic; too bad they did a remake of it and ruined the whole damn thing. There is a sequel but it is not even close to this one.
Children of the Corn 4 (1996)
Director: Greg Spence
Main Stars: Naomi Watts, Karen Black, Jamie Renee Smith, Mark Salling
Storyline: All the kids in a small town become sick and start to overtake old names of deceased children.
Review (Spoils): In a small town a number of the children become feverish and sick. The very next day they start to act more violent and start to take over personalities of deceased children of the past. The children start to kill off the adults of the town. When Grace (Naomi Watts ) returned to the small town she finds out that her young sister is dragged into the madness also.
We have lot of blood and gore in this entry as we have pitchforks, lots of scythes, a nasty barbed wire scene and some cut off fingers. The children are nasty in this one!!! Hell why not as they all do it for the One Who Walks Behind the Rows. We have some great acting from both Naomi Watts and Karen Black butthe fault of the film is the painful number of dream sequences that are thrown at the audience.
Rating: To be honest this film was not bad as the series was becoming painful with repeativeness but this one is a little different. They don’t really mention the cult at all as it is just assumed as you know you’re watching a Children of the Corn film. The gore is nice and some of the kills are entertaining so Greg Spence was a breath of fresh air for the series.
Children of the Corn 3 (1995)
Director: James D.R. Hickox
Main Stars: Daniel Cerny, Ron Melendez, Jim Metzler, Nancy Lee Grahn, Mari Morro, Gina St. John
Storyline: Two brothers from the cult located in Gatlin go to a couple in Chicago.
Review (Spoils): Two young boys kill their father so they are placed in custody of foster parents located in Chicago. The youngest and most disturbed of the two brothers starts to plant corn in the city to bring forth He Who Walks Behind the Rows. This starts a small cult in the city for the children and the whole idea of Gatlin is now in Chicago.
Bring out the blood in this one; we have teenagers and kids dying in splattering ways. Think of the Omen meets a corn field. The acting is average at best but man they delivered the bloody goods on this entry. Ripped off arms, sewn shut body parts, some nasty burns, lots of insects, spickets, faces being ripped off, scythes of course and the classic spine revealing decapitation.
Rating: The series is still lacking something but in all honesty this as good as it gets for the series (except the first one of course). Grab some cold ones and sit down and enjoy a street version of the Children of the Corn., it’s a bloody mess!
Hard Candy (2005)
Director: David Slade
Main Stars: Patrick Wilson, Ellen Page, Sandra Oh
Storyline: A teenage girl raids a man’s house in order to expose him as pedophile.
Review (Spoils): Warning touchy topic film here.
We have young fourteen year old Hayley Stark who has been chatting for a few weeks over the internet with thirty-two year photographer Jeff. The day comes when they finally meet. She drugs him and then the torture and the torment begins. This psychological drama/horror film is really mind blowing. The film builds up on the creepy slow pace and then it goes nuts. This film plays on the “who is the bad person?” which keeps the audience entertained and glued to the screen.
Both main characters Patrick Wilson and Ellen Page did a splendid job and help the film move well.
Rating: Fear the little red hood is what I say. This film is a must see for fans who love the mind bending twists of horror. No over the top gore here but it is damn right creepy. Pretty straight forward storyline and awesome acting check it out.
Bloody Birthday (1981)
Director: Ed Hunt
Stars: Lori Lethin, Melinda Cordell, Julie Brown
Storyline: Three children are born during the height of a total eclipse which blocked Saturn. This leads to the children becoming mad murders in their later years.
Review: In 1970 the sun and moon block Saturn and cause an eclipse this somehow controls human emotions. Three children were born during the height of this and because of it they become mad killers. The innocence of the children disguises the true potential of their madness.
First off really on three kids were born during this eclipse in the whole world? And they are in the same town!!!? Plot glitch anyone?
Any how these three kids become killers and are slaughtering because they are emotionally lacking due to the eclipse. A boy and his teenage sister try to figure who is committing all these murders and why. Once they start to get on the right track they are seen as a threat and now they are on the hit list. We have straight face kids around 10 years old murdering horny teenagers, school teachers, copy and anyone who gets in their way. This film can be a not freaky as we have kids doing some pretty gruesome killing with little to no expression on their faces. These are some evil kids and this film reminds me of the Bad Seed meets Children of the Corn.
Rating: This film is not horrible it is actually watchable and can be entertaining. The cast for the kids is awesome and we get a couple nude shot of Julie Brown. Those two items call for a case of beer.
The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane (1976)
Director: Nicolas Gessner
Main Stars: Jodie Foster, Martin Sheen, Alexis Smith, Scott Jacoby
Storyline: A thirteen year old girl resorts to murder to protect her own house.
Review (Spoils): Rynn Jacobs (Jodie Foster) lives alone and nobody knows that but lots suspect. She will do anything to keep her house and her independence. This leads to murder when people are snooping around including the town pervert (Martin Sheen) and his mother the stuck up landlady (Alexis Smith). She and her new best friend Mario (Scott Jacoby ) work together to keep her house.
Not so much a horror film but an intense thriller but either way we have some red blood, head blows, some poisoning and a strange and quick nude scene of Rynn.
Rating: This film is thick with creepy and dirtiness. The whole pervert storyline leaves a sour taste in my mouth and for that I can understand why people of horror sometimes mention this film. I can understand why this has a cult following after viewing this film.
Children of the Corn 2 (1992)
Director: David Price
Main Stars: Terence Knox, Paul Scherrer, Ryan Bollman, Christie Clark
Storyline: A journalist and her son travel to Gaitlin to follow a story of murdered parents and children in the corn fields.
Review (Spoils): John Garrett and his son Danny head to Gatlin as the children from the small town have been moved to the neighbouring town called Hemmingford. On their journey to Gatlin they come across an orphan named Micah (Ryan Bollman), who just happens to be possessed by He Who Walks Behind the Rows. Danny and Micah becomes fast friend and they influence each other. Oh and somewhere in there Danny starts to love a Lucy (Christie Clark) character.
The story is full of flaws and kind of runs off the tracks from the first film. We have classy deaths like a house falling on a woman, killer corn with wicked godlike powers, a child that loves to stare (Micah) and some junk about how the legend is tied to ruins on stones. The story is just all over the place on this entry. It’s too bad as the original was a classic.
Rating: This film is really a waste and the series goes to the shits from here on in. I guess you could drink to the word “corn” and get hammered but is it worth the attempt of watching this film?
Children of the Corn (1984)
Director: Fritz Kiersch
Main Stars: Peter Horton, Linda Hamilton, John Franklin, Courtney Gains
Storyline: A cult ran by a preacher boy named Isaac has children killing all the adults. The small town Gatlin will never be the same.
Review (Spoils): A young couple (Peter Horton, Linda Hamilton) come across a person who throat was slashed before their car hit them. They go to the nearest town to report it and find out that there are no adults in this town and the children are acting strange. Soon they learn that Isaac (John Franklin) has the children converted to believe that to become an adult is a sin and they need to be sacrificed to an evil god that lives in the cornfields called “He who Walks Behind the Rows”.
We have nasty machetes, sickles, lots of bloodletting and how about some on a cross made of corn stalks? This movie can be a little slow paced but overall it is not bad. Courtney Gains does a great job playing Malachai, giving the film the creepiness and being the pawn for Isaac.
Rating: Not a terrible movie and the better one of the whole series (it’s a large series). This film brings me back to my childhood and the book is very well written. This is one of the better films of the Stephen King collection. So let’s drink and have a toast to the “He who Walks Behind the Rows”.