Willys Wonderland (2021)

Willys Wonderland (2021)

Country: USA

Director:  Kevin Lewis

Main Stars: Nicolas Cage, Emily Tosta, Beth Grant, David Sheftell, Ric Reitz, Caylee Cowan, Chris Warner, Kai Kadlec

Storyline: To help pay for repairs of a car a man is hired to clean up an old amusement park which is overrun by killer robots.

Review (Spoils):  A man (Nicolas Cage) with no name or lines in the film has a car issue and becomes in debt with the locals to pay for his tire. He gets sent to an old amusement park called Willys Wonderland in which he needs to clean it up and pay back the debt.  What he does not know is the place is known by all locals that it overrun with maniac robots of kid’s characters and the owner needs to keep them happy. But of course, along this same time the sheriff daughter for some reason wants to help him and gathers her friends to go to Willys.

This film is lacking on a few things like a good plot and dialogue. We have Nicolas Cage being Nicolas Cage, robots of kid characters, a killer Tinkerbelle who is somehow creepy luring,lots of black oil blood, blood and guts, kills that happen way to fast, flashing lights, explosions, ripping of mechanical parts, no Nicolas Cage voice and of course a sex scene.

Rating:  What happens when you get Nicolas Cage meets The Banana Splits movie? This is it! The film is so bad that it the cool high light of the film is the Freebird scene which also reminded of a certain Rob Zombie film. There really is nothing scary or original with this film outside of Nicolas Cage. I guess the Tinkerbell robot was kind of creepy cool. Trust me you do not care if all these characters die….. and neither did the sheriff or the main female lead. This film is just Nicolas Cage.

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

Brahms: The Boy II (2020)

Brahms: The Boy II (2020)

Country: USA

Director:  William Brent Bell

Main Stars:  Katie Holmes, Owain Yeoman, Christopher Convery, Ralph Ineson, Anjali Jay. Oliver Rice, Natalie Moon

Storyline:  A young family move out to the country after being attacked during a house invasion to help their son. The son finds a lost doll in the woods and become friends.

Review (Spoils):  After a nasty and violent house invasion both mother Liza (Katie Holmes) and son Jude (Christopher Convery) need therapy and part of the help is move away out in to the countryside.Not long after moving while exploring the nearby forest trails Jude comes across a broken, dirty doll. Of course, he gets to keep it as he starts to communicate the doll which is something he has not done with anyone since his traumatic experience. His parents believe this doll is a breakthrough but what they do not is the doll is actual Brahms who is actual a haunted spirit of evil.

Much like the first of the series most of the film is made up digging deeper in the past of the haunted doll while the boy befriends it and becomes slowly obsessed by it and follows its orders. Brahms does his normal haunting things such as moving his eyes and flipping shit around while the parents trying to figure it out while blaming each other one what is happening.

We have the doll, troubled minds, parents arguing and blaming, a house invasion, cleaning the doll with a q-tip (who the hell does this?), carrying the doll, moving the doll, blaming the doll, nasty impalement with a croquette stake, ceramic masks of Brahms, a crazy does not make sense scene of possession and oh a dead dog (warning). The blood is lacking in this, and the jumps are pretty much the same as the last film minus the stake scene.

Rating:  This film could have been Katie Holmes and the Brahms as that is pretty much 80% of the film. Sure, there is some character development and of course parent conflict and blame but the just of the film is Katie taking care of her son and trying to figure if it’s the doll or is she nuts.  The film is not as it does carry on the story of the series of the doll but at the same time its not that overly entertaining besides the creepy doll and Katie Holmes. I personally still cannot get over the long scene of her cleaning the doll to the point of a using a q-tip so her son can keep it. Who are these parents?

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

Killer Under the Bed (2018)

Killer Under the Bed (2018)

Country: USA

Director:  Jeff Hare

Main Stars:  Kristy Swanson, Brec Bassinger, Madison Lawlor, Chris Prascus, Ashlee Fuss, Kristin Carey

Storyline:  After the death of her father a young teen find an ugly doll underneath her bed that grants her needs.

Review (Spoils):  After the tragic death of her husband Sarah (Kristy Swanson) and her two daughters (Brec Bassinger, Madison Lawlor) move into a new home. Not long after seeing a riff between the two teenage daughters and the youngest one discovers a doll hanging in garage. When taking the doll down and removing a bunch of pins it turns out this is some type of voodoo doll.  Being the great sister, she is Kilee uses the doll as a test on her elder sister Chrissy to see if it works. After the discovery of the powers, she now has with this doll she starts to alter the outcomes of her life and those around her until the doll decides it has had enough.

Do not expect gore and a lot of blood and great special effects but the story in general was interesting enough. We have a pretty crappy looking doll that seems to hold sometime of demon within and it is very hard to control if it has been cut down and unpinned. The editing between scenes was pretty cut and dry like a television film and so was the action but it was watchable as I have seen a hell of a lot worse, but it does not hurt when Kristy Swanson and Madison Lawlor are on the screen.

The doll brings us lots of teen drama, lot of pins, leg cramps, a creepy stalking crush from a teacher, fat lips, a near nasty dentist scene, some knockouts, burning dolls, a terrible special effect of a head twitching and a off camera knife attack which would have been cool to seen.

Rating:  Personally, did not know much about this film at all before watching it which helped, and my expectations were already low. So, this little film surprised me. I like that it was what a length of film should be 1.5 mark and even if it was lacking in money and editing the story was ok. Like I said before it really helped the film for me when Kristy Swanson and Madison Lawlor was on the screens also.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

Child’s Play (2019)

Child’s Play (2019)

Country: USA

Director:  Lars Klevberg

Main Stars:  Aubrey Plaza, Trent Redekop, Tim Matheson, Gabriel Bateman, Beatrice Kitsos, Brian Tyree Henry

Storyline:  A Buddie toy microchip is overwritten for revenge and goes on a killing spree for is best friend Andy.

Review (Spoils):  Andy (Gabriel Bateman) lives alone with his hot mom (Aubrey Plaza) and does not make a lot of friends. When his mom comes across a Buddie doll that is returned she uses it as a present. What she does not know is the past worker was pissed and overwritten the cloud memory chip in it and overwritten the security on it. The doll names himself Chucky and will do anything for Andy.

In short, this remake is a more modern story of the classic Chucky story but in this case its more hi-tech than an occult storyline. This movie does not hold back on the blood and gore which was a surprise and made the film a lot of fun! Being an okay fan of the past series as comedy with horror can only go so far within a series sometimes. I personally found this super refreshing which means a lot as a I normally really dislike the idea of remakes. This could have been labeled something like Child’s Play: Upgrade or something corny as another sequel.

We have tons of blood and gore in this one everything from tilers in head, sawblades to the balls, lots of classic stabs and slashes, car crashes, flying hi-tech deaths, killer dolls, nasty throat slash, red eyes and of course the beautiful Aubrey Plaza.

Rating:  Remake time again! I am not a diehard fan of the original series, yes, its important in the horror world and classic but I find humor can only get you so far in a long series. This was a total surprise for me as a remake as they used technology to give the series the upgrade. It has plenty of blood and gore to hold you to the screen and of course Aubrey Plaza also helps. I really did not dislike this at all to be honest if they would have just changed the title to me as a sequel it would have even been better.

Yes, we could have used a nice odd to the original Chucky / Brad Dourif and Jennifer Tilly but overall, I was surprised how much I enjoy the film. Maybe it was Aubrey Plaza more than I think. It had tons of blood and was entertaining enough for me not to get bored even if it did cross into another line of the origin of this Chucky. Do not read the bad reviews as it is worth checking out.

7/10 Beers!

Yacker

The Banana Splits Movie (2019)

The Banana Splits Movie (2019)

Country: USA

Director:  Danishka Esterhazy

Main Stars:  Dani Kind, Steve Lund, Celina Martin, Finlay Wojtak-Hissong, Sara Canning, Romeo Carere, Maria Nash, Naledi Majola

Storyline:  A young boy gets to see the Banana Splits show live in the studio for his birthday and it becomes a bloody nightmare.

Review (Spoils):  Rebecca (Dani Kind) is trying her best to live the life with her two boys after her first husband death and now she is married to a dick. When her youngest son Harley’s (Finlay Wojtak-Hissong) birthday comes up they get him tickets to see his favorite kid show live called the Banana Splits. They family all go together along with one friend to see the how live in the studio. We learn in the background the show is going through some rough times with other dicks and the characters are actual robots. This all becomes a revenge film as the robots start to take over the studio and start to kill off the grown ups. Sort of like Children of the Corn but the killer are fuzzy characters.

Kind of knew what I was getting into from the get-go when I heard they were making this film. I was not overly aware of the show itself as I was a 70s-80s kid, but I had a fair idea. The movie does start off pretty boring and lame to be honest and I gave myself a grown.  The mother does actions that just did not make sense with her dick husband and at the same time the setup of the robots screamed B movie. The film is very slow at the beginning but once you get to the halfway mark then you see the gory budget. Is it a scary film no, not all but man they do bring out the gore when its needed? For that I was happy and surprised.

We have fuzzy robots with Hanna Barbera voices killing, lollipop kills, a nasty bloody body saw, dick husbands, a melted burnt face, a beheading, stabbing my play key, a wicked nasty hammer to the head, eye pop, a wheel of ending with ripped off limbs, a nice stuffy wrestling match and of course a amazing gross run over. This film is not lacking on blood and gore once it starts.  Just must get around the lame character builds.

Rating:  Outside of lame storyline and poor character action this film is not terrible. Sure, I personally dislike robot horror films except for the very odd classic and this could have been some crazy killers in the suits. But the gore and blood kept the film moving and tried it best to get rid of the poor character actions and the dicks of the film. It was ok to kill off a nice hour and half and may revisit someday down the road for that odd kill scene.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

Annabelle Comes Home (2019)

Annabelle Comes Home (2019)

Country: USA

Director:  Gary Dauberman

Main Stars:  Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Mckenna Grace, Madison Iseman, Katie Sarife, Samara Lee

Storyline:  The story flashes back when they bring Annabelle back to the house to be placed into the glass cabinet. Just in time for a nosy friend of the caretaker to snoop around and release the evil.

Review (Spoils):  This series yet again kicks in another past timeline (man they love bouncing back and forth in this confusing series) when the Warrens (Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson) get the haunted doll and return it back to their house. A number things start to happen when caretaker of their daughter, Judy (Mckenna Grace) has her friend over Daniela (Katie Sarife). She pokes around after begging for 30min to see the evil that the Warrens have collected. Not long after for no real common sense reason Judy leaves Daniela alone at the house and as all good friends do, she breaks into the Curse room where all hell than breaks loose.  Well .. well.. Annabelle is out of her glass cabinet.

This film is flawed with writing and characters actions. Why would the Warrens miss their daughter’s birthday totally, why is Judy so dumb, why is Bob a loser and why waste money on crappy CGI of a werewolf and devil demon spirit that did not make sense. So many questions from just thrown together writing.

Now there was some cool parts of this long-winded night at the Warrens. The samurai suite was neat, the wedding dress scene, the boardgame scene with the hands and of course the costume and set design for the era was spot on (love this era). But really without the Warrens and just Annabelle just appearing I really did not get why this needed to be made.

We have the Annabelle doll appearing/ disappearing and showing up in bed sheets (after a few films sorry this loses its shock), haunted wedding dresses, knives, typical spirit grab by the feet drag, CGI monsters, some coins, some ghosts, fog out of nowhere, piano playing on its own, ghost of a dead dude, chickens, music playing and just many items from the cursed room.

Rating:  Going to be honest I was hard on this film as I personally think the series has run its course. But if you’re a fan of the series your going keep wanting more (trust me I do the same with Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13^th) and may enjoy it.  I personally could not give a crap about any of the characters in this one and Annabelle could have gotten them all within 5min and I would have been fine. I personally just found the young characters did things and responded in certain situations that were not real. Prime example leaving your friend alone in the house not to snoop when for the last 30min that is all she is about. Right there.. that is poor writing to get the story going.  That alone ruined it for me. Yes, the Conjuring series did have some good films, but I do not believe this is one of them, it only has a few interesting parts. Bring back the Warrens they are way more interesting than Annabelle thanks.

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

The Doll 2 (2017)

The Doll 2 (2017)

Country: Indonesia

Director:  Rocky Soraya

Main Stars:  Herjunot Ali, Luna Maya, Sara Wijayanto, Maria Sabta, Ira Ilva Sari, Rydhen Afexi, Mega Carefansa, Shofia Shireen

Storyline:  After a tragic accident a young mother uses her daughters’ doll to try to bring her back to life.

Review (Spoils):  A young family are involved in a tragic accident in which their only daughter dies. The mother grieve drives her into endless depression. One of her best friend’s have her try to talk to her daughter by doing a seance with the doll that survived the accident (why they kept the ugly thing no idea) which starts to lead the mother going insane thinking she is now being haunted by her own daughter.

Very much like the first film this one does not stray far from the script. The storyline is your typical jumping out scares and yet again lots of a long hair young girl haunting the mother. The doll itself looks like something from a carnival I have no idea why the parents would let such a thing exist in their house. I love creepy looking dolls but this one is not creepy just odd. Secondly there is a lot of what is your fucking problem man going on this relationship and you feel for the mother.

Okay a few things about this series I can say is man they can bring on the fucking gore. This one once it gets going to not lacking on the red stuff and better than the first film the special effects are actually done very well and not much CGI. We have more glass in the skin than I can count, ugly doll, lots of knives stabbing, possessions, great special effects of possession, this movie loves the eyes gouge, puzzles and of course lots and lots of blood period.

Rating:  Maybe its just the Northern American in my customs and believes but if I was the mother or the even the daughter, I think there would be a lot of fuck you dad going on in mind. The ending was not what I would suspect and to be honest seemed like wow you’re a push over. But man, the gore, blood and special effects in this film (if you can get over the pushover storyline) is pretty decent and worth checking out. This series is a surprise to me as I do not hate it. Is it amazing no , but it is something that I would recommend a true horror fan to check out.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

The Doll (2016)

The Doll (2016)

Country:  Indonesia

Director:  Rocky Soraya

Main Stars:  Shandy Aulia, Denny Sumargo, Sara Wijayanto, Vitta Mariana Barrazza

Storyline:  A young doll maker brings home a old doll which brings with it a curse.

Review (Spoils): Young beautiful Anya (Shandy Aulia) is a doll maker and her husband is a construction worker. When he brings home an old doll that he found at a site where they cut down a tree curse is sent to their home. They start to see the doll moving around, leaving notes and then finally a creepy ghost girl appears. This leads to nothing but lies, jumping ghosts, some bad CGI and tons of blood!

This film was different every 30min. I am not sure if that is a good thing or bad thing, but it kept me interested. One minute we think we have seen this film but then it changes the plot a bit over and over. One thing I do know is we have lots of charming ladies in it and a creepy burned out doll and a matching ghost girl to go with it. This film is not lacking on the gore and blood as it cuts loose near the end. Lots of red, splatter, hands grinding, claws, throat slashes, hangings and tons of more blood. The CGI is piss poor when it does appear, and it almost ruined the film for me. The fucking bats are horrible, and the blood spit is lame. But Shandy Aulia kept me entertained!

Rating:  This movie could have been a lot worse and without the lame cheese CGI could have been better but oh well. There was enough blood to do two films and the storyline kept me watching. Some of scenes were cool such as the possessions, the blood and even the little girl was sweet. This is actually worth checking out!

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich (2018)

Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich (2018)

Country:  USA

Director:  Sonny Laguna, Tommy Wiklund

Main Stars:  Thomas Lennon, Jenny Pellicer, Nelson Franklin

Storyline:  The puppets are up for auction and something evil has re-animate them again to go on a killing spree.

Review (Spoils): Edgar (Thomas Lennon) has had a tough go at life and returns back to his childhood home. He comes across one of the old puppets that his brother use to have in a box. He tries to sell it for money at a 30^th anniversary of Toulon. As he and some comic book friends (Jenny Pellicer, Nelson Franklin) join forces on this road trip all hell breaks loose as the puppets come to live and start to kill everyone in their path.

The film jumps away from the past films of the series. The storyline is rich in comedy, classic puppet action and over the top gore. The film is really not like the past ones at all. It does not lean on the Toulon storyline even though it does touch it a bit. Most of the film focuses on the trio of friends battling off the evil puppets as they slaughter everyone else. The deaths are memorable and way over the top (like the beheading where the guy pisses on his own head).  Lots of blood, gore and over the top body count is what to be expected from the film. But do not expect the standard mystic feel of the past films. For this even though it could be seemed as a fresh new take past fans might feel it is not a real Puppet Master film.

The film brings back the classic puppets like hook, miss leach, pinhead, jester, torch and driller. Some new puppets have joined the group also such as the funny looking frog one, the wolf and the red skull one.

Rating:  Being a fan of the classic films this one was not quite what I was expecting. The good is lots of gore and I did not mind the comedy. The bad is the film was not serious enough as in the past films and I miss Toulon. There should have been more Toulon and a little more background on characters that were being slaughtered.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

Cult of Chucky (2017)

Cult of Chucky (2017)

Country: USA

Director:  Don Mancini

Main Stars:  Allison Dawn Doiron, Alex Vincent, Brad Dourif, Fiona Dourif, Michael Therriault, Jennifer Tilly

Storyline:  Nica is placed in a hospital where past Chucky victims rest. With the help of Tiffany, Chuck comes to the hospital to pay some respect.

Review (Spoils): Nica (Fiona Dourif) is accused of murdering her family, as nobody believes her that the doll did the killing. The patients in the hospital she is located are all past victims (including Andy from the first films) and they are believed to be illusions of the mind.  While this is going on the staff at the hospital are actually starting a cult dedicated to the devilish doll but Tiffany has other plans to help Chucky out.

This film starts almost right after the last one but it does start a bit confusing.  Nica’s part make’s sense but dragging Andy (Alex Vincent) in from the beginning makes the film confusing. That is a fault of the film it is kind of jammed together without real thought. The gore and blood is there but limited.  Do not get me wrong it was nice to re-introduce Andy but it was done wrong and should have been brought in near the end as a surprise. Brad Dourif, Fiona Dourif and Jennifer Tilly did a great job returning as their characters but the story itself was all over the place. The Cult part was misleading and was not really explained.

We have knives, drills, burnt dolls, many jumbled dream sequences, some blood and a nasty head smash. Other than that just a lot of dialogue and character introduction without any real detail.

 Rating:  Personally had hope for this series as the last film was not bad and I enjoy the Nica character. However, this story is fucked and to be honest the whole Tiffany (Jennifer Tilly )character seems fake in this film but I did enjoy the twist ending. Holding still hope that this series will get back to the horror and drop the comedy.

4/10 Beers!

Yacker