Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021)

Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021)

Country: USA

Director:  William Eubank

Main Stars:  Emily Bader, Kirby Johnson, Jaye Ayres-Brown, Dan Lippert, Roland Buck III, Ari Notartomaso

Storyline: A teen finds out that her mom was part of Amish group and bring a camera team to get some background of her family’s past.

Review (Spoils):   Margo (Emily Bader) finds out that her mom was part of Amish community at one time before she got pregnant from an outsider. So, what is better than grabbing some friends with a boom stick and camera and join the community and ask questions and record.  When the arrive they not overly greeted and learn about the strange rituals the community has and secrets that nobody talks about. Oh, and ton of basic jump out options along the way of the documentary.

Lots of semi lame jump out moments, very interesting songs and rituals, a doll with no face, annoying teens who record like everything, a girl who has no idea what a farm is really like look at all the cows and pigs. (it’s not a lot at all), devil marks in blood, Blair Witch camera feel, bed crunch, old mysterious church, 2 headed goat, sacrifice pit, typical floor drag, castle freak beast, blood slashing, meat hook, fire, mob, and the magical snowstorm that disappears in the same scene.

Rating:  Zero idea how this series went from hauntings to an occult feel this film just does not fit the series at all.  Really this film is Blair Witch meets The Witch if I had to nail it down with a bunch of silly recording people making dumb decisions. Like they thought the snooping and action would end well.  This film has also a hard time to decide if it wants to be a straight movie or a found footage. The film is watchable but not relatable to the series and very confusing on really what is happening and why.

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)

Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)

Country:  USA

Director: Henry Joost, Ariel Schulman

Main Stars: Lauren Bittner, Chloe Csengery, Jessica Tyler Brown, Christopher Nicholas Smith, Katie Featherston

Storyline:  The childhood of Katie is retold through video tapes

Review (Spoils): The film starts with Katie (Katie Featherston) and her sister and her husband going through some old junk and coming across Katie’s birthday video tape. From there we learn of her childhood through the same video camera and tape style as the other films where there is a paranormal entity that is grabbing, shaking and stunning people that come across its path. We have more of 80s feel in the background of this but at the same time it really is just the same stuff.

It’s the same song and dance as the last bunch except Katie is young and it is more around her parents. We have the hot Lauren Bittner this time playing the mother and how she is being horrified by the evil ghost and how it is conquering her young daughter Katie (Chloe Csengery). Some same jumpy parts, same camera and to be honest the same damn story except we learn about more about the past of where the evil may of came from. The only difference is we had Lauren Bittner smoking a joint and looking sexy in a bedroom scene.

Rating: I’m going to be honest I really do not get the hype of this series. Even the first one was not that great…. who are these people that think these films are scary? You have no idea what a scary fucked up film really is. This series is not it. The film is not bad but it’s not great either and can be boring if you have seen the others because you have a fair idea how it’s going to go.

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

Paranormal Activity 4 (2012)

Paranormal Activity 4 (2012)

Country:  USA

Director: Henry Joost, Ariel Schulman

Main Stars: Stephen Dunham, Katie Featherston, Matt Shively, Kathryn Newton, Brady Allen, Alexondra Lee, Brendon Eggertsen, Aiden Lovekamp

Storyline:  The disappearance of Katie and Hunter continue and this time a young female teen is caught in the middle of the supernatural experience.

Review (Spoils): So the story of the now classic Paranormal Activity continues as the spooky Katie (Katie Featherston) returns and moves next door to a normal family of 4. We have the soccer mom (Alexondra Lee), the dick of a husband (Stephen Dunham), the young cute but typical teen girl (Kathryn Newton) and a young boy (Aiden Lovekamp). Out of nowhere a strange boy (Brady Allen) with socks and sandals needs to stay with the family because his mother has been taken away because she is sick. Once the boy enters their lives all strange things start to happen and it is affecting the young brother and the older teen daughter and boyfriend try to figure it all out by videotaping it all.

Ok this series has been going on forever. I did not find the first one amazing and I’m still shocked that this series has a strong following as it is pretty much the same thing in ever film and really…how people tape every single moment of their lives? We have the typical jumps, screams, dropping shit, walking kids in the dark, the creepy Katie and lots of shots of the young Alex which actually makes you feel like a dirty old pervert watching this film. The acting is actually not bad but there was too much of the same old in this film. You can’t keep using the same pulling by the feet scares when your into the forth entry of a series. It really starts to become old.

Rating: This movie was not slow but it was the same thing over and over with way to much why wouldn’t you. Like why wouldn’t you look back at the tapes during the whole event? Why wouldn’t you call the police? Why wouldn’t you tell the boyfriend to fucking knock and get the hell out of the fridge? Why wouldn’t you call the police/child services and say why is this strange boy living in my house as they just moved in? Why wouldn’t you tell your daughter to smarten up and calm down on the hormones and dump the boyfriend who tapes you sleeping? The only person/thing in this film that made total sense was the cat….so drink every time you see the cat!

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)

Paranormal Activity 2 (2010)

Country: USA

Director: Tod Williams

Stars: Katie Featherston, Micah Sloat, Molly Ephraim, Brian Boland

Storyline: A family feels their home is being violated so they setup of security cameras and witness that they are actually being haunted.

Review (spoils): Kristi Rey (Molly Ephraim) and her husband come home after the birth of their son Hunter. A year later they notice stuff disappearing such as a necklace from her sister Katie (Katie Featherston) and they feel their house is being broken into. They setup security cameras throughout the house and through investigation they witness the haunting. When confronting her sister of the events happening in the house the truth comes out.

The film has the same elements as the first one but we have more occult demon feel to it. We have crosses, exorcisms, floating babies, aggressive possessions and go old neck breaking.

Rating: I feel this film is actually better then the first one. It was not as boring to be honest. I love the connection of this one to the first one (Katie) and the whole baby scenes are memorable. The series started slow but I felt it picked up here. Grab some beers and enjoy a not so bad sequel to a overdone series.

 

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

Paranormal Activity (2007)

Paranormal Activity (2007)

Country: USA

Director: Oren Peli

Main Stars: Katie Featherston, Micah Sloat

Storyline: A young couple move into a new home and are haunted by a demonic entity. They video tape their whole experience.

 

 

 

 

 

Review(Spoils): So we have a couple that have moved in together and thinking of the years ahead that they have together. Well surprise she is being haunted by a demon or a ghost of some sort. Before I saw this film (which I have seen a few times now due to TV not because I love it) everyone was like you have to see this film it’s the scariest shit ever. So I got excited but had my doubts as once again we have a film that revolves around a video camera. Ahhhhhh let me think is this fresh and new? Hmmmm… Blair Witch, REC and many others that came before it. So it’s was once again a film that was filmed by a victim.

So outside of been done before I watched it and it can be pretty darn boring at times as it tries to lead up to the finale. Ok for $15,000 it cost to make it was not going to be much. The grabbing out of the bed was cool but other than that it was pretty damn boring. Micah Sloat’s character is worse husband in the world “your wife is being tormented turn off the fucking camera dumbass and give it up!” I felt bad for Katie Featherston’s character because of it and just yelled at the screen the whole time because of it. Its  so unbelievable because of it.  And the final scene, come on not scary it has been done too many times before…lame.

Rating: For a ghost demon haunting film ok it’s good for the budget and too kill 2 hours. But to call it frightening it is a fail because there was only one decent scene. (the bed pull).

I have one question though, I have two copies of this film and it has two different endings…has anyone seen the one with the police (besides myself?).

 

 

4/10 Beers!

Yacker