Don’t Breathe 2 (2021)

Don’t Breathe 2 (2021)

Country: USA

Director:  Rodo Sayagues

Main Stars:  Stephen Lang, Madelyn Grace, Brendan Sexton III, Adam Young, Rocci Boy Williams, Christian Zagua, Fiona O’Shaughnessy, Bobby Schofield, Stephanie Arcila

Storyline:  An old man and a little girl are attacked by a home invasion.

Review (Spoils):   A group of men break into the old blind man’s house trying to kidnap a young girl. This leads yet again to the blind man doing some nasty things to intruders. Yet again an escape film in which who is the predator and who is the prey.

Bring out the blood and gore on this one! We have a hammer to the head again, gas explosion, nasty glue of the mouth and nostrils, screwdriver through the cheek, shot gun shots, pitchfork through the foot, garden fork through the throat, nasty shovel across the face, long winded back story, operating table, another hammer to the head (man this series love the hammer),  more gun shots, machete slashes,  a few intense scenes with the kid (man she gets into situations), hand chop, dog attack, pretty bloody eye poke and lots of stabbings.

Rating:  Why can they just leave fun great films alone? Why do they feel they need to expand storylines or turn everything into a series. Unlike the first film, this was a not fun, but this one started off pretty alright but the character storyline to connect the dots to the first film seemed weak and a quick “come on” from me.  Not a bad film but just not sure if it needed to be done. Still entertaining and too be honest as bloody as the first one so it is worth checking it out if you come across it.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

The Rental (2020)

The Rental (2020)

Country: USA

Director:  Dave Franco

Main Stars:  Dan Stevens, Alison Brie, Sheila Vand, Jeremy Allen White, Anthony Molinari, Toby Huss

Storyline:  Young group rent a seaside getaway and get more than they bargained for.

Review (Spoils):    Two young couples (brothers/work connection) rent a place as a get away for the weekend. Right from the start we are building conflict and character development as the youngest brother is in a new relationship with the elder brother work partner.  As bad decisions, alcohol and drugs get involved they learn that people are a piece of shit.  As the conflict and secrets rise after just one night (wow what a great group of people) the drama leads to murder.

We have hammer to head, gloved murders, unsolved mysteries, car crash, murders off camera, family drama, work drama, missing dog and oh a hot tub. Lots of the horror is missing but the drama makes up for it. 

Rating:  We have 1 person out of the four that is not a fuck up. And yes, it’s the one person without drama and secrets. Sure, there is a few wows that was a dumb move or no way someone would go that far but it was enough to keep me entertained. Was it brilliant? Nope it’s the typical people are dumb horror film with an ending that just leads to nothing is explained but we may do another film later on.  Nothing overly stands out, but I was entertained and now intrigued if this becomes a series.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

Mandy (2018)

Mandy (2018)

Country: USA

Director:  Panos Cosmatos

Main Stars:  Nicolas Cage, Andrea Riseborough, Casper Kelly, Linus Roache, Ned Dennehy, Olwn Fouere, Richard Brake, Bill Duke, Line Pillet, Alexis Julemonth, Hayley Saywell,

Storyline:  A strange LSD cult attacks a man and his wife at their log cabin.

Review (Spoils):    Red and Mandy (Nicolas Cage, Andrea Riseborough) live the good life away from most people up in the woods and under the stars. Very simple life and in love. When a crazed cult lead by a leader named Jeremiah and his family come across Mandy, they of course go to try to recruit her. When all fails and things turn for the worse for the couple Red shows his Cage personality for revenge and off, we go!

We have blood, Hellraiser like bikers, a crazy looney LSD tripping cult family that reminds me of something from the Sawyers. Of course, Cage being nutty Cage, which is always fun, trippy visuals, burnings, spear into the mouth, arrows, porn, a penis shot, cocaine, axe to the head, chainsaw duel, blood sprays and some over the top head crushing. The build up leads to the gore.

Rating:  Take the strange Manson family, mix it up with Hellraiser and a nice touch of drugs and Nicolas Cage, this is what you get.  A trippy drug infused Cage film with some blood. Some very fun over the top scenes like the typical Cage mind snap, chainsaw battle and the final scene leaves this to be a classic Cage horror type film. Was I overly impressed not overly but its classic Cage and the visuals of the film are very entertaining.  Worth checking out….

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

Cocaine Bear (2023)

Cocaine Bear (2023)

Country: USA

Director:  Elizabeth Banks

Main Stars:  Keri Russell, Alden Ehrenreich, O’Shea Jackson Jr., Ray Liotta, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Margo Martindale, Brooklynn Prince, Christian Convery, Jess Tyler Ferguson, Aaron Holliday, Scott Seiss

Storyline:  A young girl and her friend take off school and head into the woods where a large bear has gotten into a lost stash of cocaine.

Review (Spoils):    A young group of kids skip into the woods to have some fun what they did not know is there is a wild bear out there who has gotten into a lost cargo of cocaine, and it needs more. As the bear runs crazy through the woods killing everyone in its drug addiction path, we have a mother looking for her daughter and a cargo drug lord looking for his large stash of missing drugs.

The effects of the film were decent for the budget and storyline. We have a crazy bear, ripped off legs, arms, a crazy and fun stretcher crash on pavement, head smashes, face smashes and of course lots of bear grabs! This film was not heavy on the blood sauce, but it has a good amount for the air time.

Rating:  Was not expecting much from this as horror must come with a grain salt most times which is why I love it. This one was jammed with some names in the cast which I was not aware, but it did not save the film. Sure, I love the tongue in cheek horror films like Evil Dead II and Braindead just to name two but this one with the kids doing coke and the craziness of the teenagers was just a stretch too far. But I will be honest I do have a weak spot for Ray Liotta, Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Scott Seiss so it was not a full train wreck.  It was an okay film for what it was, and it really does not need a sequel.

4/10 Beers!

Yacker

The Exorcist: Believer (2023)

The Exorcist: Believer (2023)

Country: USA

Director:  David Gordon Green

Main Stars:  Leslie Odom Jr., Tracey Graves, Lidya Jewett, Danny McCarthy, Ann Dowd, Olivia O’Neill, Norah Murphy, Jennifer Nettles, Elle Burstyn, Linda Blair

Storyline:  Two young girls start to play with things they do not understand to talk to one of their deceased moms which leads to the young girls going missing and found possessed.

Review (Spoils):  We flash back into a storyline around the big earthquake in Haiti and it brings us to present day. The storyline around the two girls works and off they go to play with the occult alone in the woods. They never to return until found many miles away and have forgotten everything. The film up to this point is working even when they start to show exact signs of Regan back in her famous hay day. The single father to help his daughter decides hey why not go find Regan’s mom and have her shoe the demon away cause it makes sense and everything including the story goes to shit…

The make up of the demon girls is actually not bad, we have shaking beds, green puke, cursing girls with crucifixes, peeing, bleeding, scratch marks, sore feet, nasty eye gouges, a couple jumps but not enough to make the cheesy demon smoke and lack of actual deaths to save the film.

Rating:  Was not sure what to expect from this movie as the series has been very hit and miss since the first film. Was kind of excited of the nod to the first film with characters return but got left disappointed. This film started off strong and went 100% sideways with the introduction of the mother from the first film. What in the fuck would she try to be the hero, she is not tied the religious systems what the hell was she going to do? Totally dumb scenes and this just blew the storyline into wow this dumb.  This film was bad enough with the copycat idea of the first film they did not need to worth it out the window with the Elle Burstyn character trying to be a hero. Christ she could not save her own daughter Regan what the hell was she going to do with these two girls. Just fucking dumb! First hour was interesting and then it just went flush!

3/10 Beers!

Yacker

Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)

Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)

Country: USA

Director:  Darren Lynn Bousman

Main Stars:  Chris Rock, Max Minghella, Marisol Nichols, Samuel L. Jackson, Max Minghella

Storyline:  Saw like murders are happening again but this time within the police force itself.

Review (Spoils):    A tough cop (Chris Rock) who is hated by many and has a background of police in his family is on the trail of several body pieces from different police staff or members. This all leads to a few police detective investigation across the city some with druggies, thieves, and other riff raff to find out all the connections.

While is happening one by one some of the police/detective staff get kidnapped with someone in a pig mask and plays within the game with a number of Saw like traps. Everything from water torture, electric finger thing, some saw blades, the normal tape recording of the puzzle, human skinning, some hot liquid thing on the face and of course its not a saw money if someone is not hanging up high some type of gadget.  The gore is there but its not over the top its more of storyline thing.

Rating:  Could not buy into this as a Saw movie. Yes, we have the spiral symbols, tapes, torture, deceit, pig masks and so forth but without Jigsaw this kind of reminded me more of Seven. Samuel L. Jackson did not fit in the movie to be honest and neither did Chris Rock. Sorry Rock makes a not believable tough cop sorry even the lame face expression does not help. Too me this felt like let’s jam some big names it so people will buy it as a Saw film. The film itself was not bad it just was not believable to be truly part of the franchise.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

Saw 3D: The Final Chapter VII (2010)

Saw 3D:  The Final Chapter VII (2010)

Country: USA

Director:  Kevin Greutert

Main Stars:  Tobin Bell, Carly Elwes, Costa Mandylor, Betsy Russell, Chester Bennington, Sean Patrick Flanery, Gina Holden, Chad Donella

Storyline:  The people involved in the Jigsaw puzzle are at it again but also at each other as one of the survivors creates a Jigsaw survivor support group.

Review (Spoils):    A jigsaw survivor goes public about the experience and life changing event as he influenced by others. (ugh) This all leads to a group of survivors all getting together for support and we have flashbacks of their traps and decisions you know for a positive outcome (barf). Bobby finally gets his dues, and he needs to survive Jigsaw to save all his lame wife and business partners.

We have scenes after the first film nice leg burn, buzz saw scene, Jill dream death scene, skin goo tear, head splash with car tire, spinning fans, arm cut off, quick scene of Chester Bennington, hanging cages, Jill being Jill,key on a fishhook down the throat (fun trap actually), eye gouge to make Lucio proud, hanging trap, tooth pull, annoying wife Gina Holden, pierce hooks, machine gun, stab in the throat, furnace trap (who has time to build all this) burning body, the famous jaw trap (finally), 3D explosions and the Jigsaw full circle.

Rating:  From a series that once dark, and classic has now dropped into making fun of itself much like the Scream Series did a one point. Too bad as it just takes a few cheesy scenes to ruin a series fast. The Jill story is kind of dragging by this part of the series and the whole survivor Bobby help group is just stupid writing. What the fuck happened to this once cool series. Sure, a long horror series is allowed to have duds and fun, but this was a very dumb move.  Jigsaw in outer space could have been written better (well maybe not but you get the point).  The film does move into the right direction as Bobby needs to survive traps due to his cash ins but the whole opening bit was bad and the detective bad acting. The film does come kind of full circle in the end for the series with this film.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker

Leprechaun Origins (2014)

Leprechaun Origins (2014)

Country: USA

Director:  Zach Lipovsky

Main Stars:  Dylan Postl, Stephanie Bennett, Andrew Dunbar, Melissa Roxburgh, Garry Chalk, Brendan Fletcher, Teach Grant

Storyline:  Back to Ireland to learn the origin of the leprechaun.

Review (Spoils):    Starts off with landscape that looks more like Canada than Ireland two young couples head off to the island as one of the young girls is a history buff. They pay someone to drop them off in field near the stone and they walk to the tavern to learn of the stone of the gods. Let me tell you a story type sandbox storyline.

Old man talks the young people to head out to a cabin to stay so they can see the stones of the gods near an old fallen in mine. With some terrible accents and a random shot at wild boars the young people still decide to stay. Noises in the night as the boys are total douches and ignoring the babes here comes the little beast at night.

We have a very bad accent from the old man son, douche boyfriends, sweet babe (Stephanie Bennett), gold, camera dragging pulls, roars, an earring rip, nice leg tear, gun shots, tongue stud rip, bloody claws scratches, monster leprechaun which has visual able zero connection, an insane axe to the head scene (worth the film right there), hay prong through the chest, spine pull, shitty Teach Grant acting,   machete head chop,

Rating:  Garry Chalk was awesome enjoy the acting and character and of course the nice 2min bedroom shot of Stephanie Bennett was enjoyable. The storyline itself was not bad but the roaring sounds and the idiots’ boys was a little too much where you can have a wish they would go first. Be warned also this has no comedy and no classic Warwick Davis in this budget.  Not even sure if this film is related to the classic series. I personally was not expecting much from this as the classic series is a hit and miss. But this basically has zero connection is a fun monster film. It can drag in parts, but the gore is out there, and it was something a little fun and different. I was surprised and enjoyed the ride “Fuck you Lucky Charms!” Classic!

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

Saw IV (2007)

Saw IV (2007)

Country: USA

Director:  Darren Lynn Bousman

Main Stars:  Tobin Bell, Scott Patterson, Louise Ferreira, Costas Mandylor, Betty Russell, Lyriq Bent, Athena Karkanis

Storyline:  Continuing where the 3^rd film stops the jigsaw murders keep continuing as he lies with brain cancer.

Review (Spoils):   John Kramer aka Jigsaw is dying with his brain cancer and lying in a bed, but the murders seem to keep going and the FBI are drilling Jill. The traps are set, and the games have started bloody gore and all. We follow the pace of a cop within the puzzle of traps and setups.

More Chains, sewed eyes and mouths, wood hooks, neck, and leg stabs, hanging bodies with exposed rib cages, hair pull that is pretty damn nasty, a eyes gouge which was well deserved, pregnant Jill backstory, a cool steel pin body trap, pin through the head, jigsaw doll bomb, head traps, back neck trap, ice block hanging, gun shots, nasty body of Jigsaw.

Rating:  This is one is a bloody mess but at the same time the storyline is starting to become what’s next.  Sure, the series is a classic and some of puzzle traps are pretty cool but after four films you do have to wonder who have time to build all these traps and machines within the fast timeline and better yet work them. The backstory with Jill and Jigsaw works it explains a lot of the whys so it’s not all repeative and dull much where the series does start to head down.

6/10 Beers!

Yacker

Saw V (2008)

Saw V (2008)

Country: USA

Director:  David Hackl

Main Stars:  Tobin Bell, Scott Patterson, Costas Mandylor, Betsy Russell, Julie Benz, Meagan Good, Mark Rolston, Carlo Rota, Laura Gordon

Storyline: Jigsaw starts again as this one continues right after Saw IV

Review (Spoils):   Kicking off right from the end of the last movie.We dig deeper into the connection of the survivors and Jigsaw. Jigsaw is seen as dead and has left Jill a special box as part of her inheritance and she has the key.(Yeah, a mystery box) Detective Hoffman and his whole connection to Jigsaw as everything is slowly coming to light as the murders are not over.

We have the traps as usual such as swinging blades, water box trap, collar traps (as always), beheading, baseball bats, nail bombs, fire explosions, shotgun traps, Jigsaw kidnappings, pig masks, flash backs to past murders and the behind the scenes of them. Neck stabs, bathtub with electricity, meat hook to the head, blood jars with saw blades and a nice, crushed body.

Nothing out of the ordinary for the film to the series very open ended again to be continued.

Rating:  This film is more of an explanation of how Jigsaw did it all and so was all involved in the setups, murders and how to find the guilty. Sure, there is a small group of five also being played in the background of all this but really the main purpose of this film is Jigsaw explanation. Kind of key point of the series but at the same time not as intense as the other Saw films.  The backstories on the five in the situation is kind of lame and felt just jammed together within the filming. It actual hurts the film more than adds to the horror of it.

5/10 Beers!

Yacker